The Effects of Peanut Butter on the Rotation of the Earth

EDITOR'S NOTE: With publication of this paper we are hereby amending our longstanding policy regarding co-authors. Previously we rejected any research paper that had more than ten co-authors. Many of our contributors, especially high-energy physicists, have pointed out that in some fields, especially high energy physics, research journals routinely publish papers that have one hundred or more co-authors. Accordingly, we are removing the restriction.

by George August, Ph.D., Anita Balliro, Ph.D., Pier Barnaba, Ph.D., Anne Battis, Ph.D., Constantine Battis, Ph.D., John Battis, Ph.D. Nathaniel Baum, Ph.D., S. Becket, Ph.D., A. G. Bell, Ph.D., Moe Berg, Ph.D., B. J. Bialowski, Ph.D., Edward Biester, Ph.D., Joseph Blair, Ph.D., Ceevah Blatman, Ph.D., Ken Bloom, Ph.D., I. V. Boesky, Ph.D., Dorothy Bondelevitch, Ph.D., Calliope Boratgis, Ph.D., K. T. Boundary, Ph.D., Gerald Brennan, Ph.D., Nuala Broderick, Ph.D., James Burke, Ph.D., Richard Butkus, Ph.D., James Carter, Ph.D., Alexander Cartwright, Ph.D., Caren Cayer, Ph.D., Mary Chung, Ph.D., W. Spencer Churchill, Ph.D., M. Louise Ciccone, Ph.D., Theodore B. Cleaver, Ph.D., Selma Frances Coltin, Ph.D., Carlos Cordeiro, Ph.D., Theodore Crabtree, Ph.D., Samuel Cunningham, Ph.D., James Michael Curley, Ph.D., Gwen Davis, Ph.D., Paul Delamere, Ph.D., R. C. De Bodo, Ph.D., P. deMan, Ph.D., Arthur Derfall, Ph.D., Helen Diver, Ph.D., Edward Doctoroff, Ph.D., Robert Dorson, Ph.D., Wayne Drooks, Ph.D., William Claude Dukinfield, Ph.D., James Durante, Ph.D., Alan Dyson, Ph.D., Raeline Eaton, Ph.D., D. D. Eisenhauer, Ph.D., Kent Fielden, Ph.D., Elizabeth Finch, Ph.D., Raymond Flynn, Ph.D., Charles Follett, Ph.D., Kevin Forshay, Ph.D., George Frazier, Ph.D., Katherine Fulton, Ph.D., R. J. Gambale, Ph.D., Jerome Garcia, Ph.D., Judith Garland, Ph.D., Hannah Gilligan, Ph.D., Daniel Goldfarb, Ph.D., Michael Goldfarb, Ph.D., Archie Goodwin, Ph.D., Yulia Govorushko, Ph.D., Sharon P. D. Greene, Ph.D., David W. Griffith, Ph.D., Sheldon Gulbenkian, Ph.D., Frances Gumm, Ph.D., R. O. Guthrie, Ph.D., Kathleen Gygi, Ph.D., Margo Hagopian, Ph.D., Richard Hannay, Ph.D., Joseph Hardy, Ph.D., Stephen Hardy, Ph.D., Gary Hartpence, Ph.D., Edward Haskell, Ph.D., S. J. Hawkins, Ph.D., Kevin Hegg, Ph.D., Lilly N. Hellman, Ph.D., Robert A. Hertz, Ph.D., Louise D. Hicks, Ph.D., Lyndon Holmes, Ph.D., Mycroft Holmes, Ph.D., O. W. Holmes, Ph.D., Tardis Hoo, Ph.D., J. E. Hoover, Ph.D., E. A. Horton, Ph.D., Lawrence Howard, Ph.D., Moe Howard, Ph.D., Ginger Hsu, Ph.D., David Hubbs, Ph.D., Loretta Huttlinger, Ph.D., Stanley Hwang, Ph.D., Harriet Kasden, Ph.D., Susan Jablonski, Ph.D., Mittie Jackson, Ph.D., Rebecca Johnson, Ph.D., Deacon Jones, Ph.D., Edward T. T. Jones, Ph.D., Conrad Joseph, Ph.D., K. T. Kanawa, Ph.D., Liza Karpook, Ph.D., Daniel Kaye, Ph.D., William Keeler, Ph.D., Waldemar Kester, Ph.D., John M. Keynes, Ph.D., Olga Korbut, Ph.D., Susan Krock, Ph.D., Kerran Lauridson, Ph.D., Nicholas Leone, Ph.D., Meg Anne Lesser, Ph.D., Lucille S. Levesque, Ph.D., Joseph Lichtblau, Ph.D., Barbara Linden, Ph.D., Robert Lippa, Ph.D., Charles Lovejoy, Ph.D., Frances Lynch, Ph.D., Thomas Maccarone, Ph.D., Maureen Madigan, Ph.D., James Mahoney, Ph.D., Catherine Maloney, Ph.D., Jules Maigret, Ph.D., G. Maniscalco. Ph.D., Ray B. B. Mancini, Ph.D., Julius Marx, Ph.D., Cynthia Mason, Ph.D., James Matoh, Ph.D., Abigail Mays, Ph.D., Zachariah Mays, Ph.D., Charles McCarthy, Ph.D., Joseph McCarthy, Ph.D., Ann McKechnie, Ph.D., Charles Augustus Milverton, Ph.D., Robert Mishkin, Ph.D., Jack Moran, Ph.D., Charles Morgan, Ph.D., Stephen Mosher, Ph.D., Lisa Mullins, Ph.D., Sarah Natale, Ph.D., Ned Newton, Ph.D., R. M. Nixon, Ph.D., Grover Norquist, Ph.D., Ngai Ng, Ph.D., Kevin O'Malley, Ph.D., Joel Orloff, Ph.D., Frank Patterson, Ph.D., John Pesky, Ph.D., Peter Pienar, Ph.D., Margaret Pinette, Ph.D., Philip Ravino, Ph.D., Celia Reber, Ph.D., Bertrand Roger, Ph.D., Frederick Rogers, Ph.D., Dexter Rosenbloom, Ph.D., George H. Ruth, Ph.D., Kathleen Rutherford, Ph.D., Robert Ryder, Ph.D., George Scheinman, Ph.D., Aimee Semple, Ph.D., William Shoemaker, Ph.D., Joseph Slavsky, Ph.D., Olivia Smith, Ph.D., Simon Silver, Ph.D., Orenthal J. Simpson, Ph.D., Jeffrey Spaulding, Ph.D., Richard Starkey, Ph.D., David Alan Steele, Ph.D., Y. Struchkov, Ph.D., Quentin Sullivan, Ph.D., Ann Sussman, Ph.D., Ezra Tamsky, Ph.D., Kumiko Terezawa, Ph.D., Marge Thatcher, Ph. D., Mark Theissen, Ph.D., Marilyn Tucker, Ph.D., Christina Turner, Ph.D., Brenda C. W. Twersky, Ph.D., Frederick A. Von Stade, Ph.D., F. Skiddy Von Stade, Ph.D., Bertha Vanation, Ph.D., William Veeke, Ph.D., Norma Verrill, Ph.D., Y. Y. Vlahos, Ph.D., Marko Vukcic, Ph.D., Paul Waggoner, Ph.D., Teresa Wallace, Ph.D., Thomas Waller, Ph.D., J. Ward, Ph.D., John H. Watson, M.D., Michael Weddle, Ph.D., Merton Weinberg, Ph.D., Lawrence Welk, Ph.D., Kevin White, Ph.D., Andrew Williams, Ph.D., John Williams, Ph.D., Theodore Williams, Ph.D., William Williams, Ph.D., Eileen Wynn, Ph.D., Chin-chin Yeh, Ph.D., and Ethel Youngman, Ph.D.

So far as we can determine, peanut butter has no effect on the rotation of the earth.

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