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                         UNCONVENTIONAL WISDOM: New facts and hot stats
                         from the social sciences

                         By Richard Morin

                         Sunday, November 2, 1997; Page C05
                         The Washington Post

                         WHEN SCIENCE GOES WACKY: Soggy Cereal, Love
                         Dolls and the Ig Nobel Prizes

                         So much silly science, so little time. That's
                         why we're lucky that Marc Abrahams has
                         dedicated his life to searching out and
                         skewering the best of the worst of scientific
                         research.

                         For the past seven years, Abrahams has presided
                         over the Ig Nobel Prizes, which are conferred
                         annually at a big, boisterous awards ceremony
                         at Harvard University.

                         These booby prizes honor research that's so
                         ghastly, so foolish or so funny that you
                         couldn't make it up. "I'm not sure that you'd
                         want to," said Abrahams, who has parlayed a
                         Harvard undergraduate degree in applied
                         mathematics into a position as the nation's
                         guru of academic grunge.

                         Over the years, Ig Nobels have been awarded to
                         a team of psychologists who claim to have
                         taught pigeons to distinguish between the
                         paintings of Picasso and Monet. Other Igs have
                         gone to scientists who studied foot odor, to
                         researchers who investigated why breakfast
                         cereal gets soggy, and to an zoologist who
                         wrote a book on how to identify the splattered
                         bugs on car windshields. Also honored was the
                         British physicist who proved that buttered
                         toast does, indeed, usually fall to the floor
                         butter-side down and the authors of the study
                         "Salmonella Excretion in Joy-Riding Pigs."

                         Winners are selected by Abrahams, who edits the
                         smart and satiric journal the Annals of
                         Improbable Research. He's assisted by the
                         scientists and science writers who sit on the
                         journal's board, as well as by "three strangers
                         we drag in off the street, to provide a reality
                         check." Nominations come in by mail, fax and
                         phone from around the world; some winners have
                         even nominated themselves.

                         Since the first award in 1991, the Ig Nobels
                         have acquired cult status among the super-smart
                         in this country and abroad. The awards ceremony
                         invariably is attended by real Nobel Prize
                         laureates, who typically wear wacky hats or
                         Groucho glasses and fake mustaches and perform
                         in songs and skits. (William Lipscomb,
                         Chemistry `76, was the prize in this year's
                         Win-a-Date-With-a-Nobel-Laureate Contest.) This
                         year's Ig Nobels ceremony, which was held a few
                         weeks ago, will be broadcast Nov. 28 on
                         National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation:
                         Science Friday." And now Abrahams has a book
                         just out, "The Best of the Annals of Improbable
                         Research," which features Ig Nobel winners and
                         lowlights of past awards ceremonies.

                         Abrahams said his own greatest-hits list
                         includes the two Norwegian physicians who
                         published "Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an
                         Inflatable Doll" in the journal Genitourinary
                         Medicine. The doctors recounted how they
                         treated a sea captain who had sneaked into a
                         sailor's quarters and borrowed "a piece of
                         [tainted] equipment," Abrahams said. "It was
                         the first such case ever reported in the
                         literature."

                         One of the doll docs was so thrilled with his
                         Ig Nobel that he paid his own way from Oslo to
                         attend the awards ceremony. He offered this
                         piece of cautionary advice: "When you date an
                         inflatable doll, you're dating everyone who's
                         ever dated that inflatable doll." So true.

                         Veterinarian Robert Lopez of New York is
                         another Ig Nobel star. He won the 1994
                         entomology prize for collecting ear mites from
                         cats and then inserting them into his own ears.
                         He recounted his experiences in the Journal of
                         the American Veterinary Society.

                         Since then, Lopez has become a regular at the
                         Ig Nobel ceremonies. Last year, he even brought
                         cookies he made from locusts.

                         Speaking of food, Abrahams recalls a tense
                         moment at the 1995 awards ceremony. John
                         Martinez, an Atlanta food distributor, had just
                         received the nutrition prize for importing
                         Luwak Coffee. At $200 to $300 a pound, it may
                         be the most expensive cuppa joe in the world.
                         It's made from coffee beans eaten and then
                         excreted by the luwak, (a k a palm civet) a
                         marsupial native to Indonesia. (For the record,
                         the critter supposedly eats only the ripest and
                         best coffee berries, and the beans pass through
                         reasonably intact.)

                         "We had five Nobel laureates on the stage and
                         we brought out five steaming cups of Luwak
                         Coffee," Abrahams recalled. "Then there was
                         this wonderful, long moment -- each one holding
                         a cup, each looking at the other. You knew what
                         was going through their minds. If one takes a
                         drink, we've all got to. Well, one took a sip,
                         and then they all did. Since I had set it up, I
                         felt I had to as well."

                         Some Igs have honored the flotsam and jetsam of
                         popular culture. Ron Popeil, late-night TV
                         pitch man and inventor of the Veg-O-Matic,
                         Pocket Fisherman and Mr. Microphone, won the
                         1993 Ig Nobel prize for consumer engineering.
                         Don Featherstone took home the art prize last
                         year for creating the pink plastic lawn
                         flamingo.

                         The Igs also have honored dubious feats by
                         smart people who should have known better. The
                         1996 chemistry prize went to electrical
                         engineer George Goble of Purdue University. He
                         ignited a backyard barbecue in three seconds
                         using charcoal and three gallons of liquid
                         oxygen. (Kids -- particularly my kids -- don't
                         try this at home.)

                         Sometimes Abrahams skewers pseudo-science, such
                         as the 1994 mathematics award given to the
                         Southern Baptist Church of Alabama, which
                         scoured local crime and divorce statistics to
                         provide a "county-by-county estimate of how
                         many Alabama citizens will go to Hell if they
                         don't repent."

                         While not exactly coveted, the Ig Nobels are
                         tolerated in good humor by most winners and
                         other scientists. But there are exceptions. Sir
                         Robert May, the British government's chief
                         scientific adviser, complained that the prizes
                         ridiculed serious science and scientists. (Sir
                         Bob was particularly peeved over the 1995
                         physics award given to the British researchers
                         who studied soggy cereal.)

                         Get a life, responded the editors of the
                         British scientific journal Chemistry and
                         Industry, who rose to Abrahams's defense in an
                         editorial: "May's misfire only makes him (and
                         British science) look thin-skinned and
                         humourless . . . . Long may British scientists
                         take their rightful places in the Ig Nobel
                         honour roll."

                         You can reach The Unconventional Wiz at:
                         morinr@clark.net

                           © Copyright 1997 The Washington Post Company

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