Press Association (UK)
 

October 1, 1999
 

IG NOBEL ART OF MAKING TEA HONOURED

By Cahal Milmo, PA News
 
 

British standards watchdogs were today unmasked as the world's top wafflers after producing a 5,000-word guide to making an ordinary cup of tea.  The British Standards Institute beat a host of wordy opponents to win one of 10 Ig Nobels - an American spoof on the Nobel prizes for scientific and artistic excellence announced yesterday.  A panel of Harvard University academics unveiled the snappily-titled "BS 6008: Method for Preparation of a Liquor of Tea" as its unanimous choice for the literary award at a parallel ceremony in Massachusetts.  The six-page work, which lays out in mind-boggling detail how to brew the definitive British cuppa, was selected after meeting the key Ig Nobel criteria of being a feat that "cannot or should not be reproduced".  Bosses at the London-based body, whose Washington representative was symbolically pelted with dry tea bags as he accepted the gong, reacted to the doubtful honour with a good grace.  Spokesman Steve Tyler told PA News: "We are delighted to have been recognised for what is the very important task of setting out the standards required to produce a proper cup of tea.  "We do not take these matters lightly. A group of experts was convened to decide on the procedures necessary to make the perfect brew and explaining the results to the world is a task that needs to be done in the fullest detail." The prize-winning BSI 6008, drawn up to set a standard for professional tea testers and also known as ISO 3103 to global tea fanatics, lays down the law on brewing up right down to the type of vessel to be used.   It states that the industry-standard pot must be "of white porcelain or glazed earthenware, with its edge partly serrated and provided with a lid, the skirt of which fits loosely inside".  Accompanying scale drawings show how "a small hole to allow air to enter when the liquor is being poured" is required before adding: "Tests for sensory perceptions are not to be rushed".    The standard, which accompanies BSI treatises BS 6325: Glossary of Terms Relating to Black Tea and BS 5987: Methods for Sampling Tea, includes some restrictions that many tea drinkers will find hard to swallow.  Sugar is not approved for formal sampling while milk is only an optional extra for use in improving taste.  The instructions state: "While the addition of milk is not essential, it does sometimes help to accentuate differences in flavour and colour." The BSI's tea manifesto was not the only contribution to beverage science from Britain to be honoured at the Ig Nobels, with Bristol University lecturer Len Fisher receiving a prize for his work on soggy biscuits.  Physics researcher Mr Fisher was in Boston to receive his award for finding the best technique to dunk a biscuit in a cup of tea or coffee before it reduces to a sticky mess and naming the most suitable brands.  The editor of the tongue-in-cheek scientific journal which decides the awards said that, as well as providing a light-hearted look at research, they were also a deterrent against waffle.  Mark Abrahams, editor or Annals of Improbable Research, told the ceremony: "If you didn't win an Ig Nobel tonight - and especially if you did - better luck next year." Among the other winners were Canadian academic Steve Penfold, who picked up the sociology prize for his PhD on doughnut shops, and Japanese private detective Takeshi Makino, who won the chemistry section for developing an infidelity detection spray for men's underpants.