AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: A new "What's New" STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 DATE: 01/03/2004 03:36:15 PM ----- BODY: We are adding oomph, or at least words, to this section -- the "What's New" section -- of the web site, and will be adding items more frequently. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: What's Old? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 DATE: 01/03/2004 05:50:00 PM ----- BODY: What's old? Click here to see a list of new items added to our web site PRIOR to 2004. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Lene Hau's Nano-Lecture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/05/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: Lene Hau's Nano-Lecture about SLOW LIGHT is now posted. Over the next week or two, we will also post the other Nano-Lectures that were presented at the 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. What is a Nano-Lecture? For those unfamiliar with this tiny concept, here's the official description:

Each Nano-Lecture was on an assigned topic. The lecturer was asked to explain that topic twice: • FIRST, a complete technical description in TWENTY-FOUR (24) SECONDS; • and THEN a clear summary that anyone can understand, in SEVEN (7) WORDS.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Skipping & Hopping STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 01/06/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

When do young adults skip and hop, and why? These are the questions that faced Allen W Burton, Luis Garcia and Clersida Garcia. The answers appear in their published research report "Skipping and Hopping of Undergraduates: Recollections of When and Why".

So begins this week's Improbable Research newspaper column in the Guardian. Read it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Emily Yuan's Nano-Lecture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/07/2004 01:11:00 AM ----- BODY: High school student Emily Yuan delivered her Nano-Lecture on the topic MEMORY. This is the second of the five Nano-Lectures (from the recent Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony) that we'll be posting. The accompanying photo appears in the special Ig Nobel issue of the magazine. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Man With the Rat? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/08/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: Some call him "Z." Who is he,that handsome young man with the intent gaze, and why is he holding a rat, and what fortune became him many years later? The answer is here, the honor is described here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Lugnut Letters STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 1 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 01/08/2004 05:57:29 PM ----- BODY:

In Re Louis the Lugnut

You dastardly FIENDS!!!! How could you kill Louis the Lugnut??????! Bring him back!!!!!!!

F. T. Alvis, Ph.D.,University of Cambridge, England

That is the first in our voluminous collection of letters regarding the demise of the "Louis the Lugnut" comic strip. The Lugnut Society, the foremost group of admirers and scholars of Louis the Lugnut, has asked that we put up another pointer to our selected highlights collection of Lugnut letters. Part 1 is here and part 2 is here.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: January mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 1 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 01/09/2004 12:54:47 AM ----- BODY:

The January issue of mini-AIR just went out. Read it here.

Contents include, among other things: / Survey: Beauty and Truth / Filth-in-Foods Paeans / A Month Without Frogs / Tea Scum Backward Poets / Hladik, Hladik, Hladik, Hladik Hoorah / BOVINE INDECISION LIMERICK CONTEST / RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: The Danger of Chinese / More Hair / MAY WE RECOMMEND: Warr, Payne, Strain, Boom

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Professor Lipscomb's Nano-Lecture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/09/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: At the 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, Nobel Laureate William Lipscomb delivered an especially animated Nano-Lecture, on the topic CHEMISTRY. See it here. This is the third of the five Nano-Lectures we'll be posting. The Nano-Lecture recalled Mike Stanfill's magnificent tribute to Tom Lehrer, which was part of the 2002 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Woof, Quack (Ig) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/09/2004 06:40:25 PM ----- BODY: Kees Moeliker, who won the 2003 Ig Nobel Biology Prize for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck, published a photo-rich diary of his Ig experience. See it here. Aline McKenzie of the Dallas Morning News personally tested Bow-Lingual, the automatic dog-to-human-language translation device, the inventors of which received the 2002 Ig Nobel Peace Prize. She also discussed it with a scientist named Beaver. Read her account here (a free registration to that newspaper's web site is required). The Japanese magazine AERA attempted to explain the Ig and its influence on Japan. Read the words and see the photographs here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Mad Cow / Opera STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/12/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: Is mad cow disease a tragedy of operatic scale? Not yet, but it is of mini-operatic scale. "The Brain Food Opera,"a mini-opera in 3 acts, was performed at the 2000 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. The entire libretto is here, and you can hear the perfomance by listening to NPR Science Friday's broadcast of the ceremony, which is archived here. The third (and concluding) act of the mini-opera is sung to the tune of "Libiamo" from Verdi's "La Traviata." This is how it begins:

HE: It's clear -- Fish and brains are not merely a fad. And if only the two of us weren't so intelligent, My dear, Then by now I would surely be mad As a hatter and you would be madder than a cow. SHE: The public seems to be wanting brains and fish. They always ask for the latest diet. And they don't stop, not until they buy it. Of course they must try it right away. BOTH: Our dream has come true, Both for me and for you. We could not bear it If we don't share it with the world. SHE: I know Now, my darling, it's you I adore! And your I.Q. There's no one like you In all the world today. And so Minor side effects we can ignore -- Like conniptions and heebie-jeebies and maybe death.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Garlic on the Family STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 01/13/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

'This study assessed the effects of the odour and ingestion of garlic bread on family interactions." With those opening words, Alan R Hirsch of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, in Chicago, Illinois, declared the purpose and the breadth of his research.

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. Read it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Portfolio of a Genius STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 01/14/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: The new version of Portfolio of a Genius has just arrived. For the better part of a decade, we have been receiving the laboriously crafted, increasingly thick versions of this wondrous work. They arrive in our mailbox at the post office, always unanticipated, always surprising by their very existence. The author, James E. Shepherd, Jr. -- the subject and author of the Portfolio -- switched from paper to CD a few years ago, perhaps at the request of the heavily burdened postal workers of the world. Each new paper version was thicker than its predecessor, and weightier, too. "Mighty thick and mighty heavy" would be a good way to describe the later pre-CD incarnations. The CD versions are of course svelter, but also fuller than ever with documentation of the life, and correspondence, and especially the correspondence about the corresponence, of Mr. Shepherd. Each new version contains all that was in its predecessors, and also copies of all correspondence sent and received pertaining thereto. A web version now exists; you can see it here. We are intending to schedule time to schedule time to begin to read it some day. Perhaps you will, too. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Genevieve Reynolds's Nano-Lecture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/15/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: Perhaps the most definitionally piercing Nano-Lecture delivered at the 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony was by Harvard College senior Genevieve Reynolds, on the topic EDUCATION. See it here. This is the fourth of the five Nano-Lectures we'll be posting. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Eric Lander's Nano-Lecture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/16/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: The most nanoscopically sweeping and comprensive -- and according to some critics, the most impassioned -- Nano-Lecture delivered at the 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony was by Eric Lander, on the topic THE GENOME. See it here. This is the fifth of the five Nano-Lectures weve posted. All five of the Nano-Lectures can be heard on NPR Science Friday's archived broadcast of the ceremony. Hear it here. (NOTE: If you have a suggestion for someone who would be a splendid Nano-Lecturer at the 2004 ceremony (which will be held Thursday evening, September 30, at Harvard University), please let us know.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Filth-in-Foods Paeans STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/19/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are two new Filth-in-Foods paeans. They were composed in tribute to Sidebottom's classic 'Fundamentals of Microanalytical Entomology: A Practical Guide to Detecting and Identifying Filth in Foods.' These paeans are part of an ongoing project that was introduced in mini-AIR 2004-01. INVESTIGATOR HEATHER HEWITT: Olsen, Sidebottom, and Knight Endeavor to help shine a light On what makes food dirty: Regarding food pure'ty, The "five second rule" isn't right. INVESTIGATOR DAVID WEINBERGER: The book by Sidebottom is lunch- Time reading for a scary bunch Who look into their meal With a bug-eyéd zeal And savor its every crunch. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: That Dangerous Language STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 01/20/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

One's aspirations can kill - if Dr Sakae Inouye, of Otsuma Women's University in Tokyo, is correct - and Chinese aspirations are particularly deadly.

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. Read it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Hair of Dr. Notkin STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 01/21/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: Dr. David Notkin and his fully robust beard have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS). You can see Dr. Notkin's photograph and credentials at the LFHCfS home page. NOTICE: All LFHCfS member who will be in the Seattle area on Friday night, February 13, are invited to come to the Improbable Research Show, at the Sheraton Hotel, in the Metropolitan Ballroom, at 8:00 PM, so that the public will have a chance to admire their hair. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Further Filth-in-Food STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/22/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigators Golson and LaVin express their feelings about Sidebottom's classic 'Fundamentals of Microanalytical Entomology: A Practical Guide to Detecting and Identifying Filth in Foods': INVESTIGATOR STEVE GOLSON Said Olsen, Sidebottom, and Knight, "Messy kitchens fill us with delight! All the insects and germs, And those lovely hookworms! Is our book about filth? Yes, that's right!" INVESTIGATOR ANNE LaVIN: Do you hunt for small bits of critters in cookies or french fries or fritters? Sidebottom's advice About roaches and lice Helps prevent those post-bug-eating jitters. These two new Filth-in-Foods paeans are part of an ongoing project that was introduced in mini-AIR 2004-01. See the previous selection of Filth-in-Food paeans here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Trinkaus and the Mammoth Cheese STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/23/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: "Ode on the Mammoth Cheese" gained new prominence when John W. Trinkaus accepted his Ig Nobel Literature Prize in 2003. Trinkaus was presented with a special framed copy of the famous 1884 cheese poem, a copy signed by four Nobel Laureates. Read about it in the Nov/Dec 2003 issue of the magazine, or read it (and see the magic moment) here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Murphy's Law at Caltech STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/26/2004 12:07:00 PM ----- BODY: George Nichols, who helped give birth to Murphy's Law, will make an exceedingly rare public appearance tomorrow night (Jan 27) at Caltech. He was head of the project at Edwards Air Force Base in California where, in 1949, he, Colonel John Paul Stapp, and Captain Edward A. Murphy, Jr. jointly, if disjointedly, gave rise to the Law. Stapp, Murphy, and Nichols were awarded the 2003 Ig Nobel Prize in the field of Engineering. George Nichols will be part of a presentation by AIR editor Marc Abrahams, that asks the question "What's It Take to Win an Ig Nobel Prize?" Historian Nick Spark, author of the most definitive account of the history of the history of Murphy's law, will also take part. The event will be at Beckman Auditorium, at 8:00 PM. It's free. Details are presented here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Upside-Down, and Diagnosis STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 01/27/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: The phrase "upside-down, into the void" sums up a report in the BMJ (vol. 328,January 17, 2004, p. 176):

A 67 year old man presented with lower urinary tract symptoms and many episodes of near-acute urinary retention, which he found, by trial and error, he avoided by standing on his head for 5-10 minutes each time his stream was cut off, finding then he was able to void again. X ray examination showed multiple bladder calculi, which undoubtedly obstructed his dependent bladder neck while he was standing but not while he was upside down. At open cystolithotomy more than 300 stones, weighing over 400 g, were removed.

That same section contains a simple, dryly worded nugget of advice for medical diagnosticians:

Computed tomography colonography—or virtual colonoscopy—is gaining ground as a minimally invasive technique for visualising the colon and screening for early neoplasms. Unfortunately, the images of the colon are accompanied by images of the other abdominal organs, bones, blood vessels, and soft tissues. These unwanted data may irritate the clinician, who has no choice but to consider other diagnoses. A study of 75 patients in Denmark (Gut 2003;52: 1744-7) found that 49 had extracolonic abnormalities and 12% needed further investigation. Two patients needed surgery.

Read them both, and see an X-ray of the voiding gentleman, here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Numbers Mirror Smoke Hazard STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 01/28/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: How dangerous is marijuana? Thanks to Dr Peter Maguire and his careful use of basic mathematics, now we know. Details are in a January 21, 2004 news report from Reuters (read the full report here):

"Cannabis is a drug that can kill," Dr Peter Maguire, deputy chairman of the BMA's board of science told Reuters. "People are making the conclusion that it is safe where in fact it is actually more dangerous than tobacco."

That is the key point: that marijuana is actually more dangerous than tobacco. The report gives further evidence:

Britain has an estimated five million cannabis users and government figures suggest that its use has grown sharply in the last 20 years. On Tuesday, a coroner recorded that a British man had died as a direct result of smoking the drug. Lee Maisey, 36, smoked up to six cannabis joints a day and is thought to be the first Briton to die as a direct result.

For the better part of a century, authorities have been looking for clear medical proof that marijuana is dangerous. The actual death of a human being -- Mr. Maisley -- would be difficult to argue away. Dr. Maguire and the British Medical Association have issued an official statement on the danger of marijuana. See it here. The report features comments from Dr. Maguire, and presents this additional information:

Every year, around 120,000 people in the UK who smoke tobacco cigarettes die as a result of their habit.

Every year, 120,000 people in Britain die from smoking tobacco. And now one person has died from smoking marijuana. This trend is ominous. Dr. Maguire would like to teach us all a good lesson. Perhaps we ought to pay attention. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bureaucracy Club's New Red Tape STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 01/29/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: The Bureaucracy Club is abuzz at the discovery of a new red tape taskforce. Investigator Tim Churches sends word of the existence of the GP Red Tape Task Force. A perfectly bureaucratic Task Force PDF can be accessed here. The Bureaucracy Club now hopes to find web pages for additional official Red Tape Task Forces, and would be pleased to hear from anyone who can supply a current URL pointing to same. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bureaucratic Hand STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 01/29/2004 10:39:48 AM ----- BODY: "The bureaucratic hand meets with the Bureacracy Club." So saying, a wishes-to-be-unnamed member of the latter has sent a link to a photograph of the former. See the photo here. The Bureaucracy Club's home page is, as always, here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hollow Research Bunnies STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 01/30/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

There are few peer-reviewed papers on the subject of designing and testing an improved packaging for hollow chocolate bunnies. Of these articles, the most bouncily thorough is one called "Designing and Testing an Improved Packaging for Large Hollow Chocolate Bunnies."

I feel honored to have received my official Improbable Researcher Card, but I would have been far more honored if I were not given an improbable first name. You should have written it "Alain." By replacing the "l" with a "p" you gave it a bizarre meaning, something like "has bread" when translated. May I suggest you to send me a new card with the correct spelling?

We have apologized to Professor Le Faou, and taken steps to transform him from a loaf of bread back into a distinguished virologist. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Sex Apology STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 02/04/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: We apologize to Dr. Sakae Inouye for changing his sex. The week-before-last-week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian described Dr. Inouye's well-articulated theory about how the SARS virus might be spread by people speaking one, rather than another, language. (See that column here.) Dr. Inouye subsequently sent us this note:

Thank you for your introducing my hypothesis in the Jan 20 issue of The Education Guardian. I am a public health specialist and, at the time of the SARS upheaval, was so much intrigued on why there were no Japanese patients. Last June, when I thought of the hypothesis, SARS virus was believed to be spread via droplets in the community. It eventually turned out that the virus was shed in feces and may have been spread via hands in the community. In the hospital, however, the virus was spread in droplets from coughing patiens to nurses and physicians. Foreign tourists to China would have never visited hospitals; they must have been infected in the community. My new hypothesis: The Japanese do not shake hands, but bow. It is great fun to do improbable research. Best regards, Sakae Inouye, MD, PhD Otsuma Women's University, Tokyo A mail from a male.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: February mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 02/04/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

The February issue of mini-AIR just went out. Read it here.

Contents include, among other things: / Baby in a Box / Beauty and Truth: The Results / Filth Question / Hellish Mathematician Wanted / The Flow of Knowledge / Bovine Indecision Poets / Ig Nobel Tour of Britain / Survey: Astronomers vs. Moons / Non-Cosy Sticky Limerick Contest

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: It's Dangerous to Think STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/04/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Exactly how dangerous is it to think? The question matters, because for some people it truly is dangerous - physically, life-threateningly dangerous.

What is new in the art of "Glory!" is that there has never been a Christian board game designed or illustrated such as this! From each individually characterized figurine representing the "Armour of God" to the uniquely designed game cards to the destination in which we seek has never been placed on a board ever! The particulars of the game give each Player the opportunity to learn about God in a more personal way while learning how to study the word of God at the same time. "Glory!" is solely designed to enhance the Christian and/or "unbeliever" in their walk with God simultaneously bringing the family together in an atmosphere that is conducive for learning and growing together. It has its ups and downs as with all games because there will be winners and losers and in this case, there will be those that make it to "Glory!" and those that don't! Continual playing of the game will bring hours of family entertainment and enjoyment in a good and positive atmosphere!

The inventor, whose name is Senora Melody Downs, of Baltimore, Mariland, filed this application with the United States Patent and Trademark Office on June 6, 2002. The patent office ultimately denied the application. See entire application here. See the inventor's technical illustration of Glory here. (Thanks to Investigator Martin Meder for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Riddle Wrapped in a Sleeping Bag STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 02/06/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

"He was a con artist, but boy, he pulled it off," Queeney said. "The man was truly a riddle wrapped in a sleeping bag. I don't know if any of us will ever know who he really was."

So ends an Associated Press (AP) report, published on January 3, 2004, about the man who would still be alive today had he heeded the example set by Troy Hurtubise. Troy is the inventor who spent seven years building and personally testing a suit of armor that is impervious to grizzly bears. This won Troy the 1998 Ig Nobel Prize in the field of Safety Engineering. Read our recent report about the man who, unlike Troy, proudly refused to wear any kind of grizzly-proof garments here. See the entire even-more-recent AP report (the one quoted above) about that same gentleman here. And should that not slake your interest in the general subject of people who did not learn what Troy would gladly have taught them, consider this description of another former bear enthusiast; it was published in the January 1, 2004, issue of the Los Angeles Times and then reprinted elsewhere:

Vitaly Nikolayenko, one of Russia's best-known bear researchers and a man who spent 25 years living with the enormous brown bears of the wild Kamchatka peninsula, has been found dead in an apparent bear mauling, authorities said Tuesday.

Read that entire report here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Missiles and Bears STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/09/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: For devotees of missile coloring books, there is none more fun than the Missile Defense Agency Coloring Book. See it here. And many of the many admirers of Troy Hurtubise will enjoy drawing home-built armor onto the Bear Aware Coloring Book. See it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: New Hair Club Scientists STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 02/10/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) is proud to welcome two new members: Dr. Ronan Amicel of Rennes, France, and Dr. Huw Kruger Gray, formerly of Great Bentley, Essex, England, and now of Boston Massachusetts, USA. See them here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Mystery of the Yellow Cake STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/11/2004 10:05:00 PM ----- BODY:

What is the yellow cake, and what makes it yellow rather than merely cake? "The Yellow Cake" is the title of an article by Andrzej Roslanowski and Saharon Shelah, published in the Proceedings of the American Mathematical Society...

On a recent visit to the airport, I was asked to show identification. Upon producing a photographic driver's license and my official Improbable Research Investigator card, I was immediately set upon by anxious hooligans in the execution of their official duties. I protest. I am an official, card-carrying Investigator. Also, I believe that my beard gives me a respectable (and admirable) profile. To add insult to injury, they would not validate my parking stub.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Improbable Show in Seattle Feb 13 STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/12/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: If you're in or near Seattle tomorrow night, Feb 13, come to the free Improbable Research show. Here are details:

AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE -- FRI, FEBRUARY 13, 2004 SHERATON HOTEL, METROPOLITAN BALLROOM The annual Improbable Research show, at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS). FREE -- OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. Performers include: AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS -- "A Look at the New Ig Nobel Prize Winners" KAREN HOPKIN - "The Studmuffins of Science Project" GREG CROWTHER - "Jelly Electrophoresis: The truth about jelly molecules" YORAM BAUMAN - "Mankiw's Ten Principles of Economics, Translated" EUGENIE SCOTT and the STEVES - "The Latest on Project Steve" KRISTEN ROSENFELD and IAN SWEENEY, she the legendary chanteuse, he the legendary chanteur, both from the Second Story Repertory Theater, will perform songs from Ig Nobel mini-operas ...and MORE.

Bring family and friends. A map showing the location of the hotel is here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Love's Problem STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/13/2004 06:27:00 PM ----- BODY: The perfect Valentine's Day gift for a scientist? A juicy problem to solve. We recommend:

"Love's Problem," Janet M. Becker and Michael Bevis, Geophysical Journal International, vol. 156, no. 2, February 2004, p. 171. The authors, who are at the University of Hawaii, explain that: "Explicit expressions for the displacements generated in a non-gravitating, homogeneous, semi-infinite half-space by uniform surface pressure applied over a rectangular region are presented. These complement expressions for the associated stress field given by Love in 1929."

The article is online (for subscribers of Geophysical Journal International, anyway) here. And if you can't access the online version of that earthiest of journals? Head to the nearest research library, and grab the paper version. (Thanks to Investigator Tom Gill for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: When Astronomy Hits Home STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/16/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: A Mrs. Hodges of Sylacauga, Alabama, is reported to be the first human being directly struck by a falling meteorite. Her story, is told in part here. Mrs. Hodges's first name has been variously reported to be either "Hulitt" or "Ann." Thanks to investigator Benjy Berglas for bringing this to our attention. Investigator Berglas also sent us a copy of the newsletter Wooster Sauce, describing the short story that P.G. Wodehouse wrote in honor of Mrs. Hodges and especially of the legal battle that was triggered by her meteoric collision. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Maggot Man STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 02/17/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: His colleagues and friends call him "Maggot Man." He is one of the world's foremost forensic entomologists, and even in that darkly cheery profession, he stands out for his sense of humor and encyclopedic curiosity. He is of course an editorial board member of the Annals of Improbable Research. He is a much-published author. He is the subject of a remarkable play. He is Mark Benecke. If you've got a crime scene with insects, call him. Or for now, explore his home page, which is here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bovine-Related Nit-Picking STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 02/18/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Julie Rabine picks a nit. She writes:

In the interest of the accuracy so beloved of scientists everywhere (even if they don't agree that truth is beautiful), this former English major feels the necessity of correcting a grammatical error in one of your prize-winning BOVINE INDECISION LIMERICKS [that was presented in mini-AIR 2004-02]: INVESTIGATOR KEITH LEBER: This paper convincingly proves Some cows preferred slots, others grooves. These findings lay bare, That the cows didn't care What the hell they had under their hooves. Unless Investigator Leber means to imply that the findings themselves were in fact stretched out naked on the floor, the third and fourth lines should read "These findings laid bare / That the cows didn't care." (He should also lose the comma after "bare.") However, I must complement him on how well his verse scans! I concur with the judges that the superfluity of "ooves" rhymes is regrettable, but perhaps it was inevitable given the subject matter. Here's the best I can do without them... Barn floor scholars made reference To the question of cows' flooring preference. But it seems Elsie thought That a groove or a slot Was a matter of udder indifference.

EDITOR'S NOTE: The contest judges lament the inevitable appearance and reappearance, in almost any discussion involving the subject of cows, of puns involving the words "udder" and "utter." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: SCIENTISTS NOW KNOW: Survivors Survive STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/19/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

ITHACA, N.Y. -- Heart attack victims who make it to the hospital in time to receive medical attention are four to five times more likely to survive compared with those who don't make it to a hospital promptly, according to a new Cornell University study.

So begins a press release issued by Cornell University. Read it here. (Thanks to investigator Charles Q. Choi for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Repeat Read Repeat STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/20/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A typical adult knows almost nothing about the psychology of repetitive reading. That is not surprising. Research psychologists, as a group, know little about the subject. Human beings can be induced to read repetitively. In one experiment, a scientist named Borgovsky...

I've been thinking for a while that the Japanese habit of bowing has it all over shaking hands, or God forbid kissing, from a public-health perspective. Perhaps that's why they live longer and healthier than most people do: it's not the sushi and seaweed after all.

We would be interested to hear of any published medical studies (please send the complete citations) that might shed light on this question. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Chocolate Bunny Protection Complaint STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 02/25/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Long-suffering investigator Jon Cramer is, on balance, not pleased with our coverage of chocolate bunny protective packaging research. He writes:

While studying for the Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering (at the University of Washington-Seattle, WA) I was forced to endure "Dynamic Systems" (2nd quarter) where we studied the nearly identical problem-How much packing material is required to prevent damage to candy? (we modeled candy canes) This was far from trivial, as your 'Easter Bunny' story seems to imply about the protection of delicate products. Would the study of this subject been materially different if we had been modeling high value circuit boards? While I enjoy reading about science gone astray, I am somewhat insulted in that ALL of this class of problem has both substantial opportunities for sharpening analytic skills and providing a base for the deeper understanding of the physics of shock and vibration, as well as statistics. I am unsure what your point is?

See the column of which he speaks, here. See the point here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Finger tips STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/26/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Many people, especially academics and taxi drivers, take pride in having arcane knowledge at their fingertips. Dr William B Bean bested them all. Dr Bean's arcane knowledge was not only at his fingertips; it was about them. Dr Bean spent much of his adult life monitoring the growth of his fingernails....

The March issue of mini-AIR just went out. Read it here.

Contents include, among other things: / Teaching: A New Spin / Hotheads, Buckets, and a Book / Non-Cosy Sticky Poet / Beauty and Truth: The Correction / Zweibeck's Death Challenge / Survey Results: Astronomers vs. Moons / Watch What You Eat Limerick Contest / RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Does Money Matter? / MAY WE RECOMMEND: Together/Apart, Fundulus

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Five Pages on Cake STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 02/27/2004 12:11:00 AM ----- BODY: If you read our recent column "The Mystery of the Yellow Cake" (in The Guardian) about a mathematics paper called "The Yellow Cake," and were bemused or confused, here's a remedy. The phrase "yellow cake" is not explained or even mentioned anywhere in "The Yellow Cake." That is the mystery. We have just received a five-page letter from Andrzej Roslanowski, the co-author of "The Yellow Cake." Professor Roslanowski appears to be bemusedly hopping mad about the column. In his letter, Professor Roslanowski says:

Everybody can easily answer this question: the yellow cake is a kind of coffee cake, something small, sweet and yellow that goes nicely with your afternoon coffee. It is yellow because of yolks, I believe. At least I would avoid those cakes with artificial colouring.

Our column about the mystery of the yellow cake, he gently informs us, is:

mostly uninformed and empty (and in non-empty places incorrect) ...

Read "The Yellow Cake" itself here. See our column about the mystery of the yellow cake, here. See a note from a friend of the math journal editor who handled "The Yellow Cake," here. Read Professor Roslanowski's entire letter here. Read Professor Roslanowski's newly-added product warning label for the yellow cake, here. See the point here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Another Look at "Trinkaus: Another Look" STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 03/01/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: If you you can't get enough Trinkaus -- and be aware that that makes you part of a growing horde -- a rich analytical look is now available. Investigator Don Danila has written "Trinkaus: Another Informal Look." It was published in the Nov/Dec 2003 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Partly because of the clamor to see it, and partly because we messed up the graphics in investigator Danila's article in the original printing, we have posted the full version on line, with the proper graphics. See it here. John W. Trinkaus, of course, was awarded the 2003 Ig Nobel Literature Prize (and a little something extra) for his copious and varied academic output. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Pek's Pictures STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/02/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Scientific reports don't have to be dull or overly complex. Consider this passage: "OBJECTIVE: To find out whether taking images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. Read it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Homemade Zygotes -- Just Like Mom's! STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 03/03/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

"'Homemade Zygotes -- Just Like Mom's!'" You may not be that far off!"

So writes investigator Ron Josephson. The phrase is familiar to regular readers of AIR's Unclassified Ads section, in which an ad saying exactly that has been appearing relentlessly for years now. See for example, the Unclassified Ads section in the magazine's Jan//Feb 2003 issue, which is here.

Investigator Josephson was intrigued at seeing the concept come to, er, life, in the February 23, 2004 edition of the Evening Standard. The articles begins:

Human eggs for sale on the net

By Isabel Oakeshott, Evening Standard, Health Correspondent

Human eggs are being put up for sale over the internet for the first time today.

Entrepreneurs are cashing in on the shortage of donor eggs by launching an international brokering service.

Women needing eggs for IVF treatment can now use a website offering a bank of potential donors from around the world.

The eggs will sell for thousands of pounds, with huge payments for donors and middlemen collecting hefty "introductory" fees.

Read the whole article here.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Longer Brief History STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/04/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: A Briefer History of Time is now five years old. Eric Schulman's 200-word classic article "The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less," expanded to book length, was published five years ago. To celebrate, the author has updated the history, and posted a free downloadable copy (in the form of a PDF file) on the web. You can find it here. The original 200-word version, which was published in the Annals of Improbable Research, is here. Scholars are aware that that 200-word version was translated into a zillion languages. See the translations here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Nothing for Nano? No! STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/05/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: So far we have received no entries -- not a single one -- for our contest to choose the best limerick on the topic

Nanotechnology and Albanian Prime Minister Fatos Nano

We therefore declare the contest to be over. We feel that to end this contest without any winner would be an insult to Prime Minister Nano. Therefore, the winner, by executive fiat, is Fatos Nano. Read all about Prime Minister Nano here and here. (Thanks to investigator J. Hurd for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Studmuffin of Science Rumor STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 03/08/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

I teach at a school in Englewood Colorado, and I'd like your help with a rumor. My teammate's daughter has heard that her science teacher was in the calendar "Studmuffins of Science." His name is Timothy (TJ) Donahue, and he teaches at Cherry Creek High School. Can you help us verify this rumor either from first hand knowledge or by contacting Karen Hopkin on our behalf? This is truly just idle curiosity, but has diverted massive amounts of attention from real school work, so your hepe would be greatly appreciated.

So read a note we received from investigator Paul Regas. We have forwarded the matter to Karen Hopkin, the prolific biochemist / cell biology textbook author / journalist (and AIR editorial board member) who conceived and produced the Studmuffins of Science Calendar. We, like much of the reading and/or scientific public, have been urging Dr. Hopkin to resume annual production of the calendar. Her project has done much to attract new people to science -- or at the very least, to attract them to scientists. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Troy Shall conquer STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/09/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

In this era of "big science," there are still individuals who do thoughtful, original research. They are unencumbered by official scientific credentials, academic bureaucracies, or government funding. Troy Hurtubise is a fine example of the breed. He works in the face of heavy skepticism, and with the prospect of humiliation by grizzly bears. ...

Different types of loaves were evaluated: (1) Control meat loaf, (2) liver–meat loaf and (3) liver–vegetable loaves.

It goes on to explain that:

control meat loaves gave significantly (P<0.05) higher sensory scores.

Read the entire abstract here. Investigator O'Hanlon suggests that the concept of a control meat loaf is fascinating. Agreeing with him in spirit, we invite readers to send us citations of research reports that involve other, equally intriguing, control substances. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Pithy Intro to Flowing Hair STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/11/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: For a good, concise, pictorial introduction to the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS), savor the two-page spread that appears in the Special Beauty Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Read it here. Then go to the Club's home page, which is here. If you know someone who should be a member, please urge her or him to make a good showing, for science. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Puzzler Solution 10-1 STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/12/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Curious about the solution to the puzzler? See the solution that's in the January-February 2004 issue (vol. 10, no. 1) of the Annals of Improbable Research. Find it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Getting Girls in Science STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/15/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: How to get girls interested in science? It can be done. It has been done. A certain professor, writing under cover of a pen name, explains how here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Little Old People STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/16/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

When a Japanese scientist examined rocks under a microscope, he saw evidence that all modern living creatures are descended from teeny-tiny organisms very like the big ones we see (and are) today. He gave a name to these extinct ancestral species. He called them "mini-creatures." ...

Three out of five teachers agree: curiosity is a dangerous thing, especially in students. If you are one of the other two teachers, AIR and mini-AIR can be powerful tools. Choose your favorite hAIR-raising article and give copies to your students. The approach is simple. The scientist thinks that he (or she, or whatever), of all people, has discovered something about how the universe behaves. So: <> Is this scientist right -- and what does "right" mean, anyway? <> Can you think of even one different explanation that works as well or better? <> Did the test really, really, truly, unquestionably, completely test what the author thought she (or he) was testing? <> Is the scientist ruthlessly honest with himself (or herself) about how well his (etc.) idea explains everything, or could he (etc.) be suffering from wishful thinking? <> Some people might say this is foolish. Should you take their word for it? <> Other people might say this is absolutely correct and important. Should you take their word for it? Kids are naturally good scientists. Help them stay that way.

This same "AIR Teachers' Guide," is published in every issue of the magazine (here, for example, in the the Special Beauty Issue). Please spread the word. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Value of Beauty STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/19/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Beauty is valuable. There is ample published research to back up the researchers' belief that they could publish their research. An eye-catching, tidily-summed-up collection of that research appears in the "Beauty Value Research Review" that is part of AIR's Special Beauty Issue. Read it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Largely Unexplored and Uncelebrated STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/22/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: The University of Leicester has a Celebrity Research Group. The group says "This is an intriguing, largely unexplored area of research." They ar at least 50% correct in that, and possibly more than 50% correct. The group is now conducting what it calls a "celebrity survey," which you can find at the URL they have obtained for themselves: www.celebritystudy.com Some of the questions are intriguing, and largely unexplored. Question number 38 asks you to agree or disagree, to some degree, with the statement "I am secretly married to my favourite celebrity." Question number 41 asks you to agree or disagree, to some degree, with the statement "I feel constantly that I desire my favourite celebrity with all my body." (Thanks to Kristine Danowski for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Looks Like Michael Jackson STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/23/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

In 1997, a 24-year-old Belgian male requested that his head be reconstructed to make him resemble the singer Michael Jackson. Three plastic surgeons granted his wish.

A graduate student of mine found a paper: "STAR Detector Overview," K.H. Ackermann, et. al., Nuclear Instruments and Methods in Physics Research A, vol. 499, no. 4, 2003, pp. 624-32. (See a copy of the report here.) There are 423 authors from 33 organizations!

We are sorry to have to disappoint investigator Williams. 423 is impressive. But it is barely uncommon. The biggest group we know about is a gang of approximately 976 co-authors who published a report in the New England Journal of Medicine. They were awarded the 1993 Ig Nobel Literature Prize, for publishing a paper that has 100 times more authors than pages. See details here. If there is a larger group of co-authors -- for a formal scientific report, that is -- and you know about it, please send us details. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Blast-less Off in Bunnlevel STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 03/29/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: What's new in Bunnlevel? Something not easily described. As the local newspaper put it: "Sounds ludicrous, but Mr. McLean is dead serious." A report in the January 8, 2004 issue of the (Dunn, North Carolina) Daily Record includes the following:

If Bunnlevel ever becomes a hub for space travel, Tommy McLean will be responsible. Based in the back room of his home on U.S. 401 south of Lillington, he claims to have developed an engine capable of space travel through the bending of gravity. A native of Harnett County, Mr. McLean is a 40-year-old former paratrooper and qualified private investigator who now spends most of his time “finishing the work of Einstein,” as he puts it. ... Mr. McLean has published a book, “Godstar Science — Unified Field Physics,” and has been working to apply the principles espoused within — namely, space flight through an engine that creates a gravitational field of its own that repels the gravity of the earth. Mr. McLean claims his engine already propelled his unmanned A-2 test drone 2,300 feet into the air during a test flight three years ago. His ideas may sound crazy, but Mr. McLean said those who don’t believe in his work are simply closed-minded. “They’re still stuck in the same old science of the past and don’t like to accept new ideas and things,” he said. Mr. McLean wouldn’t be specific about the components of his engine, beyond admitting that it contains “chemicals.” ...

Read the whole report here, Mr. McLean intends to win the X-Prize. Read about the prize here. (Thanks to investigator Sid Bergman for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Windows Bug in the Drains STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 03/30/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Wendy Grossman recently sent us this report about a systemic bug:

I was at a press conference on Thursday with PalmSource at One Aldwych, which is one of those hyper-modern London hotels. One of its features is a airplane-style vacuum-operated toilet system. One of the Palm execs told me that while they were staying at the hotel this system failed, and any time they wanted to use the bathroom or take a shower they had to call the reception desk and get escorted to the corporate headquarters in the building next door to use the facilities there. For a couple of *days*. It transpires that the entire plumbing system is run by a Windows-based computer system and whatever went wrong with it was so obscure that they had to get a technician from the company that supplied it on a plane down from Scotland to fix it and reboot.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Klutzing at Straws STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/31/2004 01:04:00 AM ----- BODY:

Ten tons of foresight (assuming you can measure foresight in such units) is no match for 160 pounds of klutz. Well-engineered products must withstand the unintentioned slings and arrows, the unforeseen slips and stumbles, the accidental kicks and elbows, and the regretfully overturned coffee cups that only a first-class professional klutz can deliver.

I go to this pizzeria for lunch today. I park the car and start walking to the door of the place, and this SUV starts to pull out of a parking space in front of me. So, I stop. The SUV stops pulling out and this woman (in her 30s, I'd guess) leans her head out the window, looks me straight in the eye and screams at the top of her lungs: "YOU HAVE A HELL OF A LOT OF NERVE BEING 15 MINUTES LATE!" She is two feet from my face. Then, she stares me down maybe another 30 seconds or so, and then she says in a normal tone in her voice: "I didn't mean you." It gets stranger: I turn and look around, and I am the only person in the parking lot. Then, she takes off, without even bothering to open the door for her imaginary companion. She needs a check-up from the neck up, if you ask me.

We recommend this passage to teachers of abnormal psychology. Use it as the basis for an essay question in homework or tests. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Rate the Poets STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/05/2004 01:41:00 AM ----- BODY: Our Rate-the-Poets Project question of the month is:

Which of these three poets (click here to see them) would you be least likely to buy a used car from?

Data from this question will be added to our database, for future analysis. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Samuel "Marshmallow" Pepys STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/06/2004 01:04:00 AM ----- BODY: The English writer Samuel Pepys (who lived from 1633-1703, and whose name was pronounced "peeps") produced a diary that is now much-celebrated. We at the Annals of Improbable Research have have an intriguing photograph of "Marshmallow" Pepys, which you can see here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Questions From the Chinese Translator STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/07/2004 12:42:00 AM ----- BODY: Improbable research translates from one language to another, but sometimes this involves adventure. For a prime example, see the letter from the Chinese translator of the book Best of Annals of Improbable Research, here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Measuring Russian Happiness STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 04/08/2004 01:04:00 AM ----- BODY:

Don't worry, be happy. Unless you're Russian, of course, and then it's probably impossible...

When guests come to dinner, a question may arise: "Do people chew delicious food faster than they chew distasteful food?" The answer seems to be yes...

When Prof. Yukio Hirose of Kanazawa University expressed his warmest gratitude for pigeons and crows upon receiving the Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize (a parody of the Nobel Prize) in October, the audience at Harvard University exploded into cheers....

So begins a report about the 2003 Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize winner, who won his prize for investigating a bronze statue that fails to attract pigeons. Read the entire report, in the Daily Yomiuri. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Existence of Mikhailov STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/16/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

the author was prompted to examine the evidence for the existence of A.I. Mikhailov, the legendary and apparently near-ubiquitous Soviet information scientist. At first glance this might seem unwarranted and gratuitous. After all, the appearance of Mikhailov, or at least his name, in the program was a fixture of international library and information science conferences for years, even decades. However, the actual appearance of Mikhailov at those conferences has been exceedingly, indeed it would appear vanishingly, small...

So writes Michael E.D. Koenig. the author of the classic -- but too little-known -- article "On the Existence of Mikhailov." The article originally appeared in 1993, in the Journal of the American Society for Information Science. The author and the publisher kindly granted us permission to reprint it in the Annals of Improbable Research, where it appears in volume 10, number 2. Read the article here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: More About Mikhailov, Maybe STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/19/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: If you are intrigued about "On The Existence of Mikhailov," if you can't stop wondering about Mikhailov, if you crave more info no matter how tenuously connected it may be, then read the article "Notes on the Existence of Mikhailov." It appears in volume 10, number 2 of the Annals of Improbable Research. Read the article here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Socially Scientific STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/20/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Science is a social activity -- very social. That's why the Annals of Improbable Research has a brand-new regular column called "Socially Scientific." Read the very first appearance of "Socially Scientific here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Wiggling, Shrunken Heads, Sopranos STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/21/2004 01:04:00 AM ----- BODY: Group wiggling, shrunken heads, and the incomprehensibility of soprano singers -- research about all these topics is highlighted in the "AIRhead Research Review" column in the current issue (vol. 10, no. 2) of the Annals of Improbable Research. Read the column here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: On Drying of Laundry STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 04/22/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

"It is striking that the drying process familiar to most people, namely, that of drying laundry hung from a clothes line, does not seem to have been investigated in a quantitative, scientific manner." With those words, and many more, Eric B Hansen introduced a generation to the subtle mathematical pleasures of damp cloth....

The first major international seminar which drew more than 80 participants from across the globe to discuss the depth and profundity of the concept of Gross National Happiness (GNH) agreed that GNH combines spirituality with secular science of technology and that the global community should protect and enhance it.

So says a report from Bhutan, where the seminar on "Operationalization of Gross National Happiness" was held. Read the entire report here. Professor Buddhadasa Hewavitharana, Emeritus Professor of Economics at the University of Peradeniya, was specially invited to participate. read about that here. (Thanks to investigator V. Wieloch for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Dead and Standing for Election STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 04/26/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Lal Bihari, the founder and head of the Association of Dead People -- and winner of the 2003 Ig Nobel Peace Prize -- is standing for elective office. See a video news report here. See a further news report about it here. And that's not all. As head of the Association, Lal Bihari is encouraging other members to show a little life. One of them, Shivdutt Yadav, is standing for election against India's prime minister, Atal Behari Vajpayee. See details here. Prime Minister Vajpayee is himself an Ig Nobel winner, having been awarded an Ig Nobel Peace Prize in 1998. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Angular Momentum - Groundhog STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 04/27/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Dwight Fisher sent us this report from the field:

I was taking a much needed rest from my scientific pursuits with a collection of technical support staff in a local vegetarian restaurant located on a busy street near downtown Athens, Georgia. One of the staff looked out the window and said, "What is that?" I replied, "It is a groundhog or a woodchuck". We were in a heavily populated area and it seemed the odds of a groundhog successfully navigating to this point were very small. In addition, it was April and I'm really not too familiar with groundhogs outside of February in Pennsylvania. The groundhog appeared to be interested in crossing the street toward the vegetarian restaurant. As the groundhog approached the street we attempted to warn the animal not to cross the street. This consisted of speaking English behind a plate glass window and probably was not effective in alerting the groundhog to the danger it was facing. However, the ground hog looked across the street toward us and hesitated as cars whizzed by in both directions. We were at least somewhat relived when the animal turned around and began to move up a side street but it disappeared under a parked Chevrolet Suburban. We never saw the animal emerge and so we ate our meal while watching the parked car. Eventually a woman entered the Suburban to drive away. We all stopped eating and watched intently as the vehicle began to move. The groundhog had not wandered away but rather had climbed up on the driveshaft of the vehicle. It made a valiant but misguided attempt to hang onto the driveshaft but groundhogs are simply not equipped for gymnastics and it fell off. In horror we watched as the animal began to run in front of the rear wheel. We all gasped and cried "NO!" having become somehow attached to a small animal that appeared interested in our vegetarian restaurant but strangely took refuge in the bowels of a Chevy Suburban. Suddenly it spun around and only the tail of the groundhog was impacted by the rolling rear wheel of the Suburban. While this was not fatal or even apparently debilitating it was clearly motivational and the groundhog ran off. Other customers had noticed our attention to the window and the event was witnessed in part by at least one other customer and the waitress did see the groundhog after it had sprinted 50 meters or so and required a bit of a breather before continuing to panic. I don't yet know what to make of this.

If you know what to make of it, please get in touch with Investigator Fisher at . ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Dead Good STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 04/28/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

When, if ever, does a person stops learning? Stephen Rushen, an educationalist based at Penn State University in the United States, conducted an experiment, or says he conducted an experiment, to find out....

Veiled women are protecting more than their modesty -- they are also less prone to nose and throat cancers because their veils screen out viruses, a Canadian doctor was quoted Friday as saying. Professor Kamal Malaker said women in Saudi Arabia, many of whom wear a full face-covering veil, suffered a low rate of the Epstein Barr Virus which causes nasopharyngeal cancer. "The hijab (veil) is a protection against upper respiratory tract infection"...

So begins a recent Reuters news report. Read the entire thing here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Dikshit Jr Hits the Road STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 05/04/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: The following article appears in the April 24, 2004 issue of the Times of India:

Dikshit Jr Hits the Road NEW DELHI: His mother's son. His introduction? His mother's five years in Delhi have made the city breathe easy. Basking in the reflected glory of Sheila Dikshit's second consecutive victory, Sandeep Dikshit, her protege, is the man in the constituency which the Congress has lost four times in a row. Inaugurating election office at Babarpur, padyatras in Geeta Colony and public meetings in Lakshmi Nagar, Sandeep Dikshit is trying to break in. "He is the son of Sheila Dikshit," bellows a youth in his grandfather's ears as Dikshit inaugurates an election office on 100 Foota road. The old man nods. Outside, Shakuntala, a resident asks: "Who Sandeep? Sheila's son? I have heard about him. Wonder if he will take care of our problems — paani, bijli aur naali." But Dikshit is confident...

Read the entire article here. The April 26, 2004 issue of The Indian Express reports a different aspect of the story:

Dikshit Jr Shuns Mother’s Shadow by Shubhajit Roy New Delhi, April 26: Sandeep Dikshit (39) sports ear-studs and has always preferred bright colours. But to brave the heat and dust of campaigning, he has switched to the white kurta. ‘‘White is a neutral colour. It attracts the people’s attention and they think this person must be a neta,’’ smiles Sandeep, Congress candidate from East Delhi, as he waves at residents of Vishwas Nagar. Tell that people know him only as CM Sheila Dikshit’s son and may vote for the surname, and Sandeep says: ‘‘It’s an easier identity to begin with. But people also look at how you talk, listen to your ideas. I am telling the people about my work.’’ ...

Read that article here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Fall Guy / Penguin STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/05/2004 01:04:00 AM ----- BODY: Penguins go plop all the time. For an example, look here. (Thanks to Martin Meder for bringing this to our attention.) And of course penguins go pooh all the time. For an example, look here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The David Brent Syndrome STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/06/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Everyone is incompetent, in one way or another. Psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger supplied scientific evidence that incompetence is bliss, at least for the incompetent person....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. Read it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: May mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 05/06/2004 07:37:48 PM ----- BODY: The May issue of mini-AIR just went out. Read it here. Contents include, among other things: / The Sniffing of Efficient Clerks / Historic Bear Suit / Project Nano / Nano Nota Bene / Science of Cooking: Sponges / Walked Knots Poet / Posthumous Politics Proliferates / Sorgenfrey-Line Limerick Contest / Hernia, Grizzly Bear, and Espresso ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Brains and Curiosity STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 05/07/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Curiosity is generally a good thing, but perhaps it is possible to have too much of it. Investogator Ron Josephson alerted us to a news report about too-brainy curiosity. The report appeared on television station KUSA, channel 9, Denver Colorado, on February 23, 2004. See it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Insect Munch Musings STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 05/10/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: The inception of PROJECT "INSECT MUNCH KABOOM" (announced in mini-AIR 2004-04) roused Investigator Gary Dryfoos: Okay, first of all, I don't think you can get most insects to blow at all, never mind in a specified direction. For a lot of them, it would seem their necks wouldn't bend back enough for them to blow up -- so would they have to lie on their backs, or what? And with those little spiracles, I'm not sure they could take such a deep breath to blow anything with. Now we're not gonna call it "blowing" if it's passing insect gas in some other direction, right? Your bombardier beetle could do that of course, so if you got him to stand on his head, there's one insect that could blow up, if you count that as "blowing", or "up." You know, come to think of it, maybe if you could stop up the back-end of a bombardier beetle, you could get it to explode. So there's blowing up your insect if that's what you want. But I'm not sure what you'd have to feed it to get it stopped up and gassy. Maybe a lot of grilled jalapeno-cheese sandwiches? For ants though, I don't believe there's anything to feed them if you want them to blow up. Except eating Pop Rocks and drinking Fizzies, of course, just like the rest of us. Finally, do you think that "Insect Munch Kaboom" would be a good name for a snack food? I'm thinking something between Chex Party Mix and Screaming Yellow Zonkers, you know? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Parallel Mikhailov STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 05/11/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: The mystery of the existence of Mikhailov (see "On the Existence of Mikhailov" and "Notes on the Existence of Mikhailov," both of which appeared in AIR 10:2) has a parallel. To glimpse it, see The Riddle of the Self. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Duct Tape, Clearly STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/12/2004 10:39:00 AM ----- BODY: We had somehow not been aware that transparent duct tape is now a reality. Details are here. (Thanks to Investigator Eric Workman for bringing this to our attention.) This provides a transparent excuse to mention out Duct Tape Opera, which premiered at the 1998 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. See the mini-opera's libretto here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Devilish Digits STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/13/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

In 1988, Robert W Faid solved one of the oldest and most famous problems in mathematics. Yet almost no one noticed. Cracking the nut that was nearly two millennia old, Faid calculated the identity of the Antichrist....

“GILLIGAN’S ISAND” – The Reality Series AHOY PROFESSORS! Have you ever dreamed of being stranded on a deserted island with a movie star? Can you make a telephone out of a coconut? Does the idea of being on a cool new reality series excite you out of your proverbial lab coat? If so…then please read on! TBS and top reality producer Mike Fleiss (The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, High School Reunion) are bringing the classic sitcom “GILLIGAN’S ISLAND” back to life! The reality adaptation will feature real life versions of the show’s original characters; A real-life skipper, first mate, millionaire couple, Kansas farm girl, movie star and A PROFESSOR! Characters will work together to get off the island and a big reward will be up for grabs! Next Entertainment is looking for enthusiastic male professors (full, associate, adjunct or assistant) aged 21 to 40 to be cast as THE PROFESSOR. Any and all academic backgrounds considered. For immediate consideration please contact Craig Bland at 818–972 -0997. Go to www.gilligancasting.com for details

[HISTORICAL NOTE: Russell Johnson, the actor who played the part of the Professor on the original television series "Gilligan's Island," later took part in one of the Ig Nobel Prize ceremonies. Mr. Johnson, through his unlikely-yet-gallantly-inspiring early television exploits, influenced an enormous number of children to grow up wanting to become scientists -- years later, some of those former children, now grown up and having become scientists, were thrilled to see and meet Mr. Johnson when he took part in the Ig Nobel ceremony (that year, he and several Nobel Laureates physically presented the Prizes to that year's new Ig Nobel Prize winners). We are pleased to help,in this small way, to honor him! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bad Science Movie Plot? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/19/2004 09:24:35 PM ----- BODY: Is it possible to devise a science movie plot that's worse than what shows up in theaters? Alan Boyle, the science editor of MSNBC.com, was driven to wonder that very thing. To stave off madness, or perhaps to avoid going to movies, he is running a contest:

Deliciously bad science plots: For years, scientists have taken potshots at the plots of big-budget disaster movies like "10.5," "The Day After Tomorrow," "The Core" and "Armageddon." Heck, there's even been grumbling about what "Troy" has done to the Bronze Age. Here's your chance to get in on the action, take shaky Hollywood science to the next level and even win a prize while you're doing it. For our "Deliciously Bad" movie-plot contest, we're soliciting plot summaries for hypothetical science-fiction sequels — say, "11.5," or "The Day After 'The Day After Tomorrow,'" or "Armageddon II," or some other howler....

See details here. The contest ends Monday, May 21. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Move over, Einstein STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/20/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

The new version of Portfolio of a Genius has just arrived. For the better part of a decade, I have been receiving the laboriously crafted, increasingly thick versions of this wondrous work. They arrive in my mailbox, always unanticipated, always surprising by their very existence....

"There were times I was so tired I'd take a bath and fall asleep in the tub for two hours and wake up in cold water," Hurtubise said, while lighting a cigarette with his trusty blowtorch.

That word picture is evocative, and so is the photographic picture of what he was working on, which you can see here. If you've really been wondering what it's like to own Troy Hurtubise's bear suit -- and if, as seems probable, you missed your first crack at purchasing it -- take heart. And act quickly. Because the suit has not vanished from the face of the earth. Troy tell us that the Mark VII, the one-of-a-kind, most advanced model, is again up for auction on Ebay. But if you want it, if you need it, if you really, really want to own something about as close to incomparable as things can be in the early 21st century, than bid now. Here. Whatever your fate with the suit -- or, heaven forfend, without it -- we wish you much good fortune. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Nudist Research Library STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/24/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: If you are interested in nudist research, take a gander at the American Nudist Research Library (ANRL). The ANRL is "DEDICATED TO PRESERVING NUDIST HISTORY WITH A COMPREHENSIVE ARCHIVE OF NUDIST MATERIAL." The library's home page is here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: More From Professor Lester STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 05/25/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: How does he do it? How does Professor David Lester, the wonderfully prolific suicidologist who has published well over 1000 academic reports, many on aspects of suicide, manage to produce so much fine work? Professor Lester and his work were profiled in the Mar/Apr issue (vol 10, no. 2) of the Annals of Improbable Research. Now we know at least a little more.Professor Lester recently sent a letter to the Chronicle of Higher Education. He complains that many professors complain, and that they don't produce as much work as he does. He writes:

"I have published dozens of books and hundreds of scholarly articles and notes. … Some friends have wondered whether I ever sleep. I need eight good hours a night, and I have a couch in my office for my afternoon naps. I have had three wives during the past 32 years… I used to lunch with colleagues, but I found that their continual complaints about the administration and the students soured my attitude toward the college. … These days, I eat in my office and check the sports news online. For many years, I had my name removed from the faculty e-mail list so that I had no awareness of what activities were taking place at the college… do not pick up the telephone in my office, and my voice-mail message informs callers that I do not check for telephone messages. … I have avoided as much college service as I can in recent years…

See Professor Lester's full letter here. That letter prompted an unhappy rejoinder from another Chronicle reader, who begins by saying:

"I was infuriated by David Lester's "Complain, Complain" …"

Read that letter here. Professor Lester is setting a standard that few have attained. Perhaps the world should agree with him that, as he seems to explain, many others could match his breathtaking output -- if for some reason they chose to do so. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Igs in Oxford STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 05/26/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are some photos from the Oxford show in this year's Ig Nobel Tour of the U.K. and Ireland. Over the next several weeks we will be posting photos from the other shows on the tour, too. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Lip, eye, and nose STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/27/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Researchers in one field do not always pick up on good suggestions from those outside their speciality. Take, for example, the case of the Hapsburg lip. "I do not propose to deal with one of the most famous inherited features, the 'Hapsburg lip' ... because it could almost be described as a medical condition, about which I am not qualified to speak. However, I feel sure that the 'Hanoverian eye', the 'Coburg nose' and the 'Danish neck' will prove equally fascinating." ...

Veiled women are protecting more than their modesty - they are also less prone to nose and throat cancers because their veils screen out viruses, a Canadian doctor was quoted on Friday as saying.

So reports Reuters. Read the full, if skimpy, report in the May 10 issue of the Daily Times of Pakistan, here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Unsung Heroes STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/03/2004 01:33:00 PM ----- BODY:

What is the record for the maximum number of authors/co-authors on a published scientific paper? ...

Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor. Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies....

So begins a report from the Ananova news service. Read the full report here. See an alternative report, in German, here. See Dr. Bischinger here. All of this in some distant sense builds on the Ig Nobel Prize-winning work of 2001 Public Health Prize winners Chitteranjan Andrade and B.S. Srihari. (For details of that, see here.) Thanks to investigator Greg Kinney for bringing this to our attention. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Photos d'Ig STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/09/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: The Harvard News Office has some lovely photographs of the 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. See a few highlights here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Feline Reactions, Bearded Men STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/10/2004 01:34:00 PM ----- BODY:

More than a decade has passed since the publication of the research report "Feline Reactions to Bearded Men"..

I recall that Vincent Dethier, in his wonderful book To Know a Fly (the book that turned me into a biologist in the first place) found that if he removed from a fly the dingus (technical jargon, hey?) that told the fly it was full, the fly would eat until it burst. After a nice healthy jog to 3 libraries (one's copy was missing, the [Cornell] Entomology Library's electronic moving shelved didn't) I found that memory as usual was jogging a little behind. The fly did not actually explode, or if it did he kept that gory detail to himself. He severed the nerve that runs from the brain to all parts of the gut. "The results of this operation on a hungry fly were spectacular. Such a fly began to eat in the normal fashion, but did it stop? Never. It ate and ate and ate. It grew larger and larger. Its abdomen became so stretched that all the organs were flattened against the sides. It became so big and round and transparent that it could almost be used as a miniature hand lens. It was so round its feet no longer reached the ground and so heavy it could not launch itself into the air. Even though the back pressure from a near bursting crop was terrific, the fly continued in its attempts to eat. It reminded me of a woman who had been admitted to our hospital, a woman whose height was four feet, ten inches and whose weight approached four hundred pounds. Her major complaint was inability to move." The reference is: pp.53-55, To Know a Fly, V.D. Dethier, Holden-Day Inc., 1962.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Trinkaus-Trinkaus Connection? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 06/16/2004 06:56:00 PM ----- BODY: We received this inquiry from investigator Paul A. Kucklein:

The March issue of mini-AIR features this citation: FUNDULUS FACTS "Ingression During Early Gastrulation of Fundulus," J.P. Trinkaus, Developmental Biology, vol. 177, no. 1, July 10, 1996, pp. 356-70. The congruence of names between this researcher and the justly famous Ig Nobel Prize-winning researcher, John W. Trinkaus, raises the question of a possible familial relationship. Is it to be expected that J.P Trinkaus will become as dedicated an observer and prolific an author as his namesake? May we expect longitudinal studies of the ingression and egression of funduli?

We would be interested to hear from anyone who can knowledgably answer investigator Kucklein's question. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Jargon Transfer STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/17/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

Abstruse communication has had no more generous friend in the past century than the newly late Howard J Brannd. Brannd gave new words to a field that was starved of vocabulary. It was he who brought technical jargon from the world of electric appliance repair to the field of mental health therapy....

In Minneapolis, Minnesota on April 14, 1973 Alyce Taylor Cheska organized and chaired a meeting of over thirty scholars who were identified as publishing research within the general rubric of play, and with this critical mass of interested scholars the Cultural Anthropology of Play Reprint Society was born...

Thus does the The Association for the Study of Play describe its storied beginnings.

Presidents of TASP have been play scholars, leaders, academicians and above all great people. Play is meaningful for each of them, and embodies their personal and academic experiences in ways too numerous and varied to describe."

Thus does the organization describe its storied leaders. Read about it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Belfast show STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 06/22/2004 01:31:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are some photos from the Belfast show in this year's Ig Nobel Tour of the U.K. and Ireland. Over the next several weeks we will be posting photos from the other shows on the tour, too. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bureaucracy: Smart STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 06/23/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Tim Churches writes (n triplicate, though reproduced here only once): The delightfully named "Dept of Administrative Reforms and Public Grievances," an arm of the Indian governemt, has established a new body called the "National Institute of Smart Government". This leads to speculation about the existence of institutes for other types of government. See some preliminary details here and some post-preliminary details here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Nail the Snail STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/24/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

On Mediterranean shores, there's always something in the air. Romance, perhaps? Well, research shows that sometimes it's just marijuana pollen wafting in from Africa. And sometimes, it's snails....

From the Publisher: The classic study of Arab culture and society is now more relevant than ever. Since its original publication in 1983, the revised edition of Raphael Patai's The Arab Mind has been recognized as one of the seminal works in the field of Middle Eastern studies. This penetrating analysis unlocks the mysteries of Arab society to help us better understand a complex, proud and ancient culture. The Arab Mind discusses the upbringing of a typical Arab boy or girl, the intense concern with honor and courage, the Arabs' tendency toward extremes of behavior, and their ambivalent attitudes toward the West. From Library Journal: Davis's coming-of-age novel garnered good response when it debuted in 1979. Using high school wrestling as a metaphor for growing up, the book reveals how teenage protagonist Louden Swain deals with both his desire to win his weight division in the state championships and his growing love for Carla, an older girl who is temporarily stranded with Louden and his father when her car breaks down. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

A non-specialist, reading these two reviews, might almost imagine that they describe different books. The two reviews are presented at http://www.bookfinder.us/review7/1578261171.html. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Troy's Blast Cushion - Good News STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 06/28/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: There's more good news about Troy Hurtubise's latest invention, the blast cushion. Thre are lots of pictures, too. See here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: June mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 06/29/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY: The June issue of mini-AIR just went out. Read it here. Contents include, among other things: / Staring and Blushing / Frog / Nano Name Correction / Walked Knots Correction / Sorgenfrey-Line Poet / It's... It's... / Pigeon-vs.-Missile Survey / Gumming-Up-the-Works Limerick Contest / Gnome, Nostril, Ides of June ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Dublin show STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 06/29/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are some photos from the Dublin show in this year's Ig Nobel Tour of the U.K. and Ireland. Over the next several weeks we will be posting photos from the other shows on the tour, too. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: It's Dangerous to Worry? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 06/30/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Worrying about the cost of medical care appears to increase the risk of dying after a cardiac procedure, a study finds.

So begins a May 17, 2004 report in HealthDay by Ed Edelson. Read the report here. Thanks to investigator Kristine Danowski for bringing this to our attention. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Cheese Files STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 07/01/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Because race is an uncomfortable topic for many people, certain questions simply do not get discussed. It is now nearly 20 years since the publication of Beth A Scanlon's blockbuster report Race Differences in Selection of Cheese Colour....

Has anyone done scientific research about beards? Well, yes. Most of it concerns beards that are attached to scientists. Most of those researchers are men. Most of them are British. Why that should be, I don't know....

"Evaluation of CDs and Chewing Gum in Teaching Dental Anatomy," Kenneth L. Allen, New York University, USA D.L. Galvis, New York University, USA R.V. KATZ, New York University, USA Methods: One group (N=26) received a 50 minute standard dental anatomy lecture while the comparison group (N=30) used only an instructional, commercially-available CD on dental anatomy ... Half of the students in each group were required to chew gum.... Results: Only the written examination average scores for the gum vs. no gum chewing groups showed differences which appear to be educationally meaningful, though not statistically significant... Conclusion: This pilot study suggests that: 1) the cost-effective method of using of a self-study CD is as educationally effective as a standard lecture; 2) that gum chewing resulted in higher scores (a B- vs. C+ grade) in the written examination, and 3) that future, full-sized studies should be conducted to confirm these findings. This study was funded by the Wm Wrigley Jr. Company.

Read the entire, mildly lengthy abstract here. The research was presented at was a session at the IADR/AADR/CADR 82nd General Session (March 10-13, 2004) Honolulu, Hawaii. Thanks to numerous investigators, who learned about it from Ben McGrath of The New Yorker, for bringing this to our attention. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bugs Count STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/14/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: If you count bugs in Britain, please file your information. Do it the Big Bug Count headquarters,here. If necessary, use the Big Bug Count Splatometer, a copy of which can be obtained here. For advanced bug-splat identification, see Mark Hosteteler's Ig Nobel Prize-winning book, here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: savage Row Over Selvage STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 07/15/2004 05:56:00 PM ----- BODY:

When Dr Wilfred Selvage took his own life a decade ago at the age of 86, the obituaries stressed the greatness of the man and his pioneering methods...

"Adult Sudden Death Caused by Aspiration of Chewing Gum," S.N. Njau, Forensic Science International, vol. 139, nos. 2-3, January 28, 2004, pp. 103-6. The author, who is at Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, Greece, reports that: "A 24-year-old white male died suddenly. A piece of chewing gum lodged in a pool of frothy fluid was revealed at autopsy. ... No alcohol or other drugs were detected in blood or urine."

Here some runners up: INVESTIGATOR D. HOMUTH: If the froth in your throat starts to trickle, Be advised -- DON'T aspire your chicle. A Greek male, seems as how, Died from that. (S.N. Njau) His autopsy affirmed: Death is fickle. INVESTIGATOR G.R. CHAMBERS: An aspiring young man who's from Greece Chewed gum. He was found by police To have choked on the spot. The autopsy did not Find traces of booze or hashish. INVESTIGATOR C. MEDBERY III: He died while chewing his gum He was found lying flat on his bum. We don't really know How many die so, But we doubt it's a very large sum INVESTIGATOR B. MCGRAIL: A Caucasian young man choked on fluid Resulting from gum carelessly chew-ed. Officials could see From his blood and his pee That he neither was ston-ed nor stew-ed. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Wag the Mail STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 07/22/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The recent novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon, has been justly celebrated for an innovation: its first-person narrator is autistic and of mathematical bent. But for postal historians, the novel has weightier significance. Curious Incident is the second most compelling book that involves both (a) the mysterious death of a dog and (b) lots of mail....

I got to go to the invitation only dress-rehearsal of the Lion King last night, We had a four year old doing a very hilarious play by play behind us. The mother was apologetic, but the kid was so funny, we didn't care. Sister: What are all those bones for? Kid: Everything's dead. At the qiet moment, when one character on stage has just mentioned a secret, he inquires honestly "What's a secret?" One of the main characters dies and Kid goes "Those people don't die in real life, right?" Lions come on stage and fight with swords. Kid insists "Lions don't have swords." A few minutes later, more insistently, "Lions DON'T HAVE SWORDS." And in the quiet ending of the romantic scene, he says "Is it over now?"

Investigator Wieloch's letter illustrates, yet again, the principle outlined in the AIR Teachers' Guide, that kids are naturally good scientists (and that we should help them stay that way). ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Fink on Trinkaus & Trinkaus STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 07/28/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Is Trinkaus related to Trinkaus? Investigator Rachel Fink sends enlightenment, or at least information, on the question. The question was posed by investigator P.A. Kucklein, in connnection with Fundulus research, in a letter you can read here. Having read that letter, investigator Fink writes:

I read the June 16, 2004 query from Paul A. Kucklein and have some info for him. Kucklein wanted to know if J.P. Trinkaus is related to John W. Trinkaus (Ig Nobel prize winner), and whether we could expect J.P. to "become as dedicated an observer and prolific an author as his namesake?" Alas, J.P. Trinkaus died last year, after a long and prolific life as a developmental biologist. "Trink" (as he was known) spent his life studying the movements of cells in early fish embryos, and the "Fundulus" cited in the title of one of his papers is a little killifish he worked with at the Marine Biological Laboratory in Woods Hole, MA for 63 summers. These fish have embryos that are splendidly large and transparent, and Trink was a master of micromanipulation and patient observation. Trink's favorite quote from Yogi Berra was "you can observe a lot by just watching" and Trink's detailed analyses of cell movements helped in our understanding of how an embryo forms skin and muscle and bone. I worked with Trink for close to 2 decades, and think he would have been tickled to be discussed in the Annals of Improbable Research. He knew the role serendipity plays in science, and many of his most elegant discoveries came from simple manipulations that became "improbably" illuminating. I have no idea if Trink was related to John W. Trinkaus (but I do know he was named after John Philip Sousa, the Marching Band Music King, who was some kind of cousin). Before he died, Trink published his memoirs, and anyone interested in his life and work can find his story at bn.com or amazon.com. The book is: Embryologist: My Eight Decades in Developmental Biology, by John Philip Trinkaus. 2003. J&S Publishing Co. Respectfully submitted, Rachel Fink Professor of Biological Sciences Mount Holyoke College South Hadley, MA 01075

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Naked Hunch STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 07/29/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The American Nudist Research Library has a fairly simple motto: "Dedicated to preserving nudist history with a comprehensive archive of nudist material". Like all specialist libraries, it operates with a limited budget. Thus, the library covers only what it needs to. ...

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has for the first time cleared the commercial marketing of leeches for medicinal purposes. ... Leeches have been used as an alternative treatment to blood-letting and amputation for several thousand years. They reached their height of medicinal use in the mid- 1800’s. Today they are used in medicine throughout the world as tools in skin grafts and reattachment surgery.

So begins a press release from the United States Food and Drug Administration. Read the entire, brief document here. Many doctors will now be confronted, for the first time, with the occasional problem of leeches that are not hungry when called upon for duty. How does one stimulate the appetite of a leech? Anders Barheim and Hogne Sandvik of the University of Bergen, Norway, won the 1996 Ig Nobel Biology Prize for providing the answer. See details here, and read their Prize-winning report here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Everybody Loves Trinkaus STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 08/04/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: John Trinkaus, winner of the 2003 Ig Nobel Literature Prize, has a growing legion of admirers. Read Trinkaus's Ig citation here. Read an admirer's rhapsody here. And read the classic Annals of Improbable Research article "Trinkaus - An Informal Look." here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: In Memorium: Gretchen Worden STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 08/04/2004 11:47:50 AM ----- BODY: Our friend Gretchen Worden, the director and soul of the Mutter Museum, has died. We and the world will miss her and her view of the world very much. Here is a passage from Gretchen's obituary in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

"In most museums you go to look at objects," she wrote in [her] book's [The Mutter Museum] preface. "In the Mutter Museum, sometimes the objects seem to be looking at you." Ms. Worden worked her way up in the museum - the only place she ever worked - first as curator in 1982 and finally as its director in 1988. She worked until a few weeks before her death. "It was the only job she ever wanted," recalls her cousin, Nina Tafel. Ms. Worden's fascination with the weird began when she was a little girl growing up in Media, where her family had settled after living in Shanghai, China, and Moncilieri, Italy. She started collecting conjoined objects such as M&Ms and dolls, and odd or suggestive food items, said her friend Janice Wilson Stridick. As a young woman, she started collecting cow creamers, and as an adult she amassed an international toilet-paper collection. She also collected model and stuffed rats. She graduated from Penncrest High School in 1965, earned a bachelor's degree in physical anthropology in 1970 from Temple University, and then set her eyes on working at the Mutter Museum. "She worked among the artifacts of death and had fun with it - it was perfect for her," said her friend Christine Ruggere, associate director of the Institute of History of Medicine at Johns Hopkins University.

Thanks to Gretchen, one of the Museum's most memorable photographs appeared on the cover of the September/October 1998 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Everyone's a Winner STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 08/05/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

What happens when giveaway contests go awry? Bill Hearn, a partner in the Toronto law firm McMillan Binch LLP, is a prominent figure in this specialised area of research....

In Worthing, UK, we have the world's only war memorial to birds lost in action! This memorial to so-called "Warrior Birds" resides in Beach House Park here but is currently closed off due to maintenance. Here are photos of (a) the memorial and (b) the inscription.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Difficult To Say STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 08/10/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: There are recent new claims about what words, in various langauges, are most difficult to translate. See details here. (Thanks to investigator David Kessler for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: COMING EVENT: Godzilla & Cheese STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 08/11/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Mark this date: 16 September 2004, 4:00 pm. Larry Martin and I are doing a public lecture in the Center for East Asian Studies Wine and Cheese series (no, I am not making this up), at the Ecumenical Christian Ministries building, on Godzilla.

So writes investigator J.E. Simmons. He is not making it up. Read details here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Charmed By a Fly Book STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 08/12/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

Vincent Dethier loved flies with a fervour that is rare. He distilled this love into a book called To Know a Fly....

The ERK MAP Kinase Cascade Mediates Tail Swelling and a Protective Response to Rectal Infection in C. elegans," Hannah R. Nicholas and Jonathan Hodgkin, Current Biology, vol. 14, 2004, pp. 1256-61. The authors report that: "Among the known pathogens of C. elegans is the bacterium Microbacterium nematophilum, which adheres to the nematode rectum and postanal cuticle, inducing swelling of the underlying hypodermal tissue and causing mild constipation. We find that on infection by M. nematophilum, an extracellular signal-regulated kinase (ERK) mitogen-activated protein (MAP) kinase cascade mediates tail swelling and protects C. elegans from severe constipation, which would otherwise arrest development and cause sterility."

Here some runners up: INVESTIGATOR VERONICA MICHAELSEN: This abstract denies all androgyny While debating gonadal homogeny. All differences aside, One truth must abide: You need both to generate progeny. INVESTIGATOR STUART BARROW: Short gives us words to the wise for beasts of each shape and each size. It now seems so clear: The Mitochondria Are why humans dangle their Ys. INVESTIGATOR ELENA LONERGAN: If the testis and ovary thwart Your attempts to examine and sort; And you find you're confused About how they are used, Simply speak to the wise R.V. Short. INVESTIGATOR HEATHER HEWITT: A researcher called R.V. Short Wrote this breakthrough gonad report. The differences? Note ‘em: One’s found in a scrotum, The other is further up norte. INVESTIGATOR SCOTT DE BRESTIAN: Ovarium testisque sunt Dissimilis et differunt. Ad inguenem ictus? Mulier est invictus! At viri nimis sentiunt. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Miss Autogena's Sound Mirror STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 08/16/2004 01:09:00 AM ----- BODY: Last year's press release about Miss Autogena's sound mirror can be read here. Technical details can be seen here. A not-entirely-related picture of someone breathing into a tube can be seen here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Cat Fight STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 08/17/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Here is an experiment that needs doing. Obtain a cat and a computer. Install PawSense (the Ig Nobel Prize-winning software that detects when a cat is using your keyboard, and locks out the keyboard), and then go to what is billed as "the world's first website for cats," which you can find here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Nothing But STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 08/18/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: The world's vast collection of research journals contain many reports about positive results that turn out, later, to be simply not so. A small number of journals work hard to publish results that are, from the beginning, apparently not so. Here are two such journals. The Journal of Negative Results website is here. The Journal of Articles in Support of the Null Hypothesis website is here. (Thanks to investigator Angela Close for bringing it to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Trinkaus on Trolleys STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 08/19/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Shopping trolleys are a window, however small, to our inner being....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. It describes the latest research from 2003 Ig Nobel Literature Prize winner John Trinkaus. Read the column here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Death Stinks STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 08/20/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Genevieve Reynolds sends in support for the notion that, sometimes, death stinks. See here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: All-Purpose Press Release STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 08/23/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: The July/August 2004 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research includes an all-purpose press release. We have put it online: "A Template for Scientific Press Releases and Science News Articles," by Scott A. Sandford, Jason P. Dworkin and Max P. Bernstein. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Forensic-chemical analysis of duct tape STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 08/24/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

J.J. Schmitz, R.A. Pribush, R.P. Walson, Chemistry Department, Butler University, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA, “A Forensic-Chemical Analysis of Duct Tape”

Such was the most-publicized presentation at the SCANNING 2004 Conference, which was held on April 28, 2004. For bare details, see here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Tornado Fighters STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 08/25/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Tornado Fighters is here to be a protection against tornados

So says their web site, which is here. (Thanks to Tom Gill for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Animal and the Damage Done STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 08/26/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

Archaeologists know that the ground they examine can be literally rather shifty. The reasons for this can be disturbing, beastly and even childish....

"Use of chopsticks for eating and Helicobacter pylori infection," W. K. Leung., J. Y. Sung., T. K. W. Ling., K. L. K. Siu and A. F. B. Cheng, Dig Dis Sci 44, 1999, pp. 1173-6.

See co-author Siu's resume here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Analtech. The logical choice. STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 08/30/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: The company is named Analtech. Their slogan, displayed on their web site, is "Welcome to Analtech. The logical choice." We would be interested in hearing from a professional logician who can supply a formal mathematical proof of this. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Broadband, Broad Man STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 08/31/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Josep-Lluís Marzo-Lázaro is a member of the Grup de Broadband Comunications. His photograph indicates that he is especially well suited to work in broadband. See the photo here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Big bugs STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 09/01/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Truly big things that look like bugs can be had form Giant Microbes, or so they say. Their web site is here. (Thanks to Moritz Paehler for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: From sterilised bears to Hello Kitty STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 09/02/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Whatever your gut feelings are about formally published research reports, you will likely agree that certain of them are, in a word, cutesy, and others are just plain icky. Here are some of each. Cutesy: The Case of the Burly Wee Man...

Neither "limophobia" means fear of lemonade, nor "cairophobia" means fear of Cairo. This is why you should read this text through, and have your copy of my book -- the world‚s only dictionary of fears. The word phobia has a number of different meanings. Some of these definitions are: aversion, abomination, disgust, horror, nausea, antipathy, fright, refusal, repugnance, repellence, fear, apprehension, terror, and so on. From São Paulo University, Cyro del Nero‚s definition is: "The father of the word is a mythological character ˆ PHOBOS. Its most recent restorer and user was Sigmund Freud. PHOBOS meant: to flee in fright, or something that causes flee through panic." In 2001, I came across the word "parthenophobia", and as a hunter of unknown words, I started to seek its real meaning. In the traditional dictionaries, the entry nearest to this meaning was "parthenogenesis", which means the pregnancy of a virgin woman. I was not yet fully satisfied. Then, after the exercise of looking up bulky volumes in university libraries, I finally found it. This word means fear of virgins. I called Psychiatrist and Writer Prof. Rostan Silvestre, from Alagoas Federal University, Brazil, and he stated that human mind has many secrets and fears yet to be unveiled. As a translator, I frequently use specialized dictionaries in several areas of science and languages. By studying mental health lexicons, I realized they were truly "mini academic compendia". In addition, they do not handle the phobia theme from a lexicographical perspective. Finally, there was neither one single lexicon on phobias in the world, nor one that could be easy for any reader to understand. So, this was the beginning of the journey I embarked on as a personal challenge: to write world's first dictionary of phobias. Prof. Rostan accepted my invitation to supervise the work. Counting on several supporters, I put forward a prospection work of the entries, looking up other dictionaries, texts, lists, interviews, books, newspaper reports and academic theses in several languages. I thought that by reaching a total of 700 entries, the work would be completed. However, more and more words continued to arise. Many of them are clinical in their origin, and the media created others. Terms like spamphobia, futurephobia and sarsphobia were created by journalists, and were also included in IGOR‚s "Dictionary of Phobias". Journalist and Psychiatrist Humberto Costa, Brazil'‚s current Minister of Health, has prefaced this unprecedented lexicon. IGOR‚s first edition contains 1029 entries, and is on sale only over the Internet at www.forumdefobias.com, while awaiting invitations from publishing houses ˆ by the way, publishing houses are welcome to discuss IGOR's publishing. The search goes on. Eleven or more entries are ready for the new edition. All readers are welcome to contribute to expand this lexicon, which seems to be endless, as human mind is still far from knowing its own borders. Who would be interested in a dictionary of phobias?? All those who value the accuracy of expressing their feelings by means of words. So, it is of interest to all! Philologist Prof. Nelly Carvalho, from Pernambuco Federal University, says that "IGOR's content is of great interest to all those who work in the field of interpreting the feelings of their clients or friends, in order to understand and accept them". These are professionals in the fields of mental health, human resources, writers, journalists, advertisers, and all those seeking self-learning, My objective was eventually framed during the research process. I found that all of us have some phobias that are like "pets", or "inner" phobias at higher or lower degree, and they perhaps prevent the development of our personal, professional, social or family relations. The first step to exorcise them is to recognize that they exist, no matter how strange or ridiculous they might look, and then have a good laugh at them. According to Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, "Whatever can make us laugh, can set us free". As of now, all readers are invited for a coconut water drink (I pay the bill) on September 30th, at "Pier 2290", Boa Viagem Beach, nº 2290, Recife, so we can watch the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony live webcase on a big screen, as we enjoy a pleasant place. We will celebrate. "Nóis sofre mais nóis goza" carnival group has already confirmed attendance. Welcome! Igor Rafailov Author of IGOR‚s "Dictionary of Phobias ˆ including synonyms and related terms", German language translator, phytotherapist, lecturer, age 46, divorced and lives in Recife, PE, Brazil.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Lester's Pithy Papers STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 09/09/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

Those who achieve stardom in academia are much like their counterparts in movies and television - they can be unfairly, if admiringly, pigeonholed by their public. Consider the case of David Lester....

For example his famed bacon and egg ice cream came about through his interest in 'flavour encapsulation': the principle of which means a single coffee bean crushed in your teeth while drinking hot water will taste much more of coffee than the same crushed bean dissolved in the water.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Romance of Ear Candles STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 09/14/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: There is talk (and more) of the romance of ear candles. Some doctors fail to see the romance. This report seems to be an example:

"Ear candles: a triumph of ignorance over science," Edzard Ernst, Journal of Laryngology and Otology, vol. 118, no. 1, January 2004, pp. 1-2. The author, who is at the Universities of Exeter and Plymouth, Exeter, UK, explains that: "Ear candles are hollow tubes coated in wax which are inserted into patients' ears and then lit at the far end. The procedure is used as a complementary therapy for a wide range of conditions. A critical assessment of the evidence shows that its mode of action is implausible and demonstrably wrong. There are no data to suggest that it is effective for any condition. Furthermore, ear candles have been associated with ear injuries. The inescapable conclusion is that ear candles do more harm than good. Their use should be discouraged."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Eye-Popper STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 09/15/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Here is a nice, apparently moving optical illusion. For more, and more detail about it, consult Akiyoshi Kitoaka, at the Department of Psychology, Ritsumeikan University, Kyoto, Japan. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Polish Edition of the Ig Book STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 09/16/2004 12:41:33 AM ----- BODY: The Polish edition of the book The Ig Nobel Prizes is now out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: A cat, a cow, a Paper Bag STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 09/16/2004 01:27:53 AM ----- BODY:

What can be learnt with a cat, a cow and a paper bag? This is not a moot question. To raise dairy cows can be intellectually challenging, in addition to being hard physical work. Every dairy farmer knows this, although it may be news to a small number of milk-guzzling, cheese-chomping city-dwellers. Fordyce Ely and WE Petersen wanted to understand why some cows spew their milk....

So begin's this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Italian Edition of the Ig Book STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 09/16/2004 11:37:50 PM ----- BODY: The Italian edition of the book The Ig Nobel Prizes is now out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Perth Event STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 09/17/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are some photos from the recent Ig Nobel event in Perth. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Do Penguins Topple? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 09/20/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: It's a good time (probably, it's ALWAYS a good time) for a look back at the question of whether penguins topple backwards when watching aircraft fly over. Richard Stone reportedly feels that his work was misinterpreted. According to the British Antarctic Survey, in an official announcement:

"The research is not funny at all! ... Dr Stone has just completed initial fieldwork at South Georgia. His preliminary results show that no King Penguins toppled over when overflown by the Lynx helicopter."

(Thanks to Carl McBride for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Salute to Doctor Nurse STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 09/21/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Let us salute Doctor Nurse, and Doctor Nurse, and Doctor Nurse. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: September mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 09/21/2004 08:03:00 PM ----- BODY: The September issue of mini-AIR just went out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Salute to Doctor Student STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 09/22/2004 01:04:00 AM ----- BODY: Having (yesterday) saluted Doctor Nurse, today we salute Doctor Student. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Slow scientists at work STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 09/23/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

The apocryphal wheels of justice grind exceedingly slowly. Three science experiments are keeping pace....

September 26, 2004 The Genesis Project By CHARLES SIEBERT One morning, a little more than a year from now, a group of scientists, members of what is known as the Stardust mission, will be standing around on a remote stretch of salt flat in the Utah desert, eagerly awaiting the arrival of a very special package. It will, if all goes as planned, enter our atmosphere much like a meteorite, plunging earthward until the final stage of re-entry, when a small parachute will open. The object, about the size and overall appearance of a large metal cephalopod mollusk, better known as the nautilus, will drift harmlessly to the ground, its belly filled with the dust and debris gathered from the comet Wild 2, which scientists now expect may offer significant clues about life's origins here on earth. ''These comets are thought to contain some of the most primitive material in the solar system, more or less unchanged since its formation,'' Scott A. Sandford, a NASA research astrophysicist and co-investigator of the Stardust mission, told me one afternoon this past spring. We sat talking in the dining area of a huge white plastic tent pitched in the middle of the NASA Ames Research Center campus in Moffett Field, Calif., a tree-dotted, 440-acre sprawl of tan brick laboratory buildings. ''Among the things we'll want to know about the material we've collected,'' continued Sandford, a stout, rugged-looking man with a way of talking about even the most far-flung, wondrous endeavors as though he were a plumber discussing your bathroom pipes, ''is what fraction of it is organic, what kinds of organics they are and what possible role they may have played in life's emergence on earth....''

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Alice Springs Event STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 09/27/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are some photos from the recent Ig Nobel event in Alice Springs. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: New Hair Club Members STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 09/27/2004 01:06:00 AM ----- BODY: The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) is proud to welcome Dr. Shen, Dr. Mann, Dr. Glasauer, and the other new members! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Glimpses of Stalin World STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 09/28/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: A visitor to Stalin World, in Grutas, Lithuania, took and posted some photos of the facility. Of course, Viliumas Malinowskus, the founder of Stalin World, was awarded the 2001 Ig Nobel Peace Prize. By the way, Stalin World now has a competitor of sorts. in Budapest, Hungary. (Thanks to Mark Dionne for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Canberra Events STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 09/29/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are some photos from the recent Ig Nobel events in Canberra. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Another Long-Running Experiment STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 09/30/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Henry Kleta sent us this note:

I'd love to report a long-running experiment that has been started by coincidence and is running now nearly 25 years. Round about 25 years ago my dad tried to seal the roof of our house with tar. A whole bag of that stuff was left over and was thrown on top of the old oven (used to melt that stuff) and was long forgotten somewhere in the depth of dad's garage. The whole equipment was - luckily for the scientific community - forgotten and kept in peace all the time. While reading the article in AIR volume 7, number 3, "The latest on long-running experiments," the pictures of that old equipment came up and I started to dig through dad's garage to check the "experiment" he has started without knowing it. I've enclosed a picture of the bag of tar after turning it around to check the results of the experiment. See the picture here.] I hope to be able to continue the experiment and will happily report every ten years the results.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Word is Ig STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 09/30/2004 09:21:53 AM ----- BODY: The Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded for things that first make people LAUGH, and then make them THINK. The name "Ig Nobel" is said to be derived from a pun in the English languge. The pun draws out only one of several very different aspects of Ig Nobility. That pun seems to crop up in the strangest places. And it crops up elsewhere, too. Investigator Regula Noetzli writes: "Please tell me this is not a coincidence! The web site dictionary.com always chooses a "Word of the Day." Today, the day of the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, their Word of the Day is 'ignoble'":

Word of the Day for Thursday September 30, 2004 ignoble \ig-NOH-bul\, adjective

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hairy Men and Dr. Alias STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 10/01/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

If a hairy man becomes insatiably curious about what it means to have all that hair, he may well run across the work of Dr AG Alias. (Yes, that is his name.) Alias is an expert on certain aspects and implications of the hairiness of men....

for their leaping conclusion that people who believe they were kidnapped by aliens from outer space, probably were -- and especially for their conclusion "the focus of the abduction is the production of children. [REFERENCE: "Secret Life : Firsthand, Documented Accounts of UFO Abductions"]

Dr. Jacobs had planned, but then found himself unable, to attend this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony and Lectures. [We and he are hopeful that he will join us next year.] He sent us this note:

For various reasons (one relating to my teaching schedule), I will be unable to attend Thursday's Ig Noble prize awards ceremony. However, I would be extremely appreciative and I think it would be appropriate if you or someone else could read the following statement to the group.

Here is Dr. Jacobs's statement:

On Monday, September 27th, John Mack, Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard University, winner of the Pulitzer Prize for his biography of T.E. Lawrence and one of the leading socially conscious psychiatrists in the country, was killed in London, England, by a drunk driver. John had spent much of the past fourteen years studying the UFO abduction phenomenon. He went forward with his findings that the phenomenon did not fit psychiatric or psychological models but did an experiential one. His research forced him to entertain the idea that the phenomenon was happening more or less as people were saying. He and I knew that coming to this conclusion is dangerous in the academic world. He knew there would be a price to pay and, indeed, Harvard Medical School convened a panel of his peers to look into his research, methodology, and conclusions. The investigations found no academic violations and he was exonerated. While the investigation was time-consuming, frustrating, and draining for him, more than anything else it demonstrated his fortitude in the face of the scientific community's hostility. He was fearlessly intellectually and academically honest. He fully understood the unscientific and ridiculing attitude that the academic community took about UFO abductions, but that did not stop him. He gave numerous lectures and papers on the subject and he published two books about his theories, knowing that they could hurt his academic reputation. Although my colleague Budd Hopkins and I had profound intellectual disagreements with John, we never questioned his honesty, integrity, and courage. His intellectual curiosity should be a model for us all. For some, receiving an Ig Noble prize can be demeaning, but in this case I am proud to have shared the 1993 Ig Noble Prize in psychology with John E. Mack. David M. Jacobs Temple University Philadelphia

The statement will be read aloud at the 2004 Ig Informal Lectures tomorrow, at MIT. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hear the Ig Nobel Karaoke Tribute STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/01/2004 11:56:53 PM ----- BODY: Daisuke Inoue, the inventor or karaoke, was karaoke-serenaded by three Nobel Laureates (Dudley Herschbach, William Lipscomb and Rich Roberts) and and slinky blonde (Karen Hopkin) immediately after Mr. Inoue accepted the 2004 Ig Nobel Peace Prize. NPR's "All Things Considered" broadcast a nifty report that includes part of the serenade. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Japanese edition of the Ig book STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/04/2004 12:47:00 AM ----- BODY: The Japanese edition of the book The Ig Nobel Prizes is now out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Laugh (or Not) and Think STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/05/2004 12:49:00 AM ----- BODY: The Ig Nobel Prizes are intended to first make people LAUGH, and then make them THINK. The new crop of Ig winners provoked a discussion, on the website Plastic, that features both aspects (except for one gentleman who declines, perhaps ever, to engage in the first of the twinned activities.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Nobel Melbourne Event STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/05/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Here are some photos from the recent Ig Nobel event in Melbourne. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Leadership and Murphy's Law STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 10/06/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

With the news so full of claims about leadership, it's a good time to look for basic research on that subject. Buried in the heaps of academic vagary about leadership is, at least, one useful, practical nugget. There is a simple question that every competent leader keeps in mind, and no incompetent leader does: "What can go wrong?"...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. Read it here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Cat Research Review STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 10/07/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: The Sept/Oct issue (vol. 10, no. 5) of AIR has a special "Cat Research Review." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Pek on "Serendipity" STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 10/08/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: We asked Pek Van Andel to review the world's most provocative book about serendipity. Pek is an Ig Nobel Prize winner (for leading the team that took the first MRI images of a couple's sexual organs while those organs were in use.) Here is his review. -------------- Serendipity: the Prince’s Road This Begriffsgeschichte, this funny, superb, long expected, instructive, entertaining, ludique, lyrical, unique text about the birth, use, diffusion, reconceptualisation of serendipity ‘in the market of words’ is fortysix years old! Merton & Barber had finished their typescript in 1958, but didn’t publish it in fortyfour years! In the nineties I got a copy of it, after writing Merton four times. I got so enthusiast about it that I asked Umberto Eco twice to use his poids to get it anyhow published. Il Mulino (The [Paper]Mill), in Bologna, did it, in 2002, in Italian. The American edition was an initiative of the social sciences editor at Princeton. Merton, born as Meyer R. Schkolnick, became a grand old man of sociology, and died as Robert King Merton. Elinor Barber was historian and specialised in the 18th century in France. The royal road was the way taken by a king on visit. In scientific research the ‘royal road’ is chosen by an investigator who finds what looks for. The ‘prince’s road’ is the path of a searcher who finds what he was not in quest of. The term for such an ‘unsought finding’ and/or the gift to find the unsought is serendipity. The word is two-hundred-fifty years old. It was coined in 1754 by a British letter writer, Horace Walpole, who was inspired by The Three Princes of Serendip, in origin a Persian fairy tale of Amir Khusrau (Hasht Bihist, ‘Eight Paradises’, 1302). According to Walpole, the princes were ‘always making discoveries, by accidents & sagacity, of things they were not in quest of’. The word serendipity was first only used in literary circles. Then Harvard physiologist Walter B. Cannon, launched it in 1945 in exact sciences with his book The Way of an Investigator. Merton defined serendipity in 1948 as the observation of an unanticipated, anomalous and strategic datum that becomes the occasion of a new theory. He described it shortly as a surprising observation followed by a correct abduction (hypothesis). And hè imported the word serendipity in behavioral sciences. Original scientific search progresses on two legs, one royal leg to test a hypothesis, and one prince’s leg to explain an anomaly (serendipity). These two methods do not exclude, but alternate, complement, reinforce each other. As the sophists said, you can’t look for the unknown, because then you don’t know were to look for. What is really new can’t be derived from the old (if so it shouldn’t be really new), it can only be found by surprise: by serendipity! The book is: The Travels and Adventures of Serendipity. A study in sociological semantics and the sociology of science, Robert K. Merton & Elinor Barber, Princeton University Press, 2004, 313 pp, 29.95 $. ISBN 0691117543. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hopping Mad about Hula-Hooping STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/11/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Dr ----[EDITOR'S NOTE: THE INVESTGATOR HAS ASKED US TO REMOVE HER NAME]---- sent us this note:

Dear Sirs, I just have read about the latest Ignoble [sic] prize winners in physics and I read the original article of Ramesh Balasubramaniam and Michael Turvey, "Coordination Modes in the Multisegmental Dynamics of Hula Hooping," Biological Cybernetics, vol. 90, no 3, March 2004, pp. 176-90 The article in not only senseless and not funny, but also absolutely incorrect. The authors completely ignore such a sport-art as RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS, where gymnasts perform with hoops. Hoop is rotate most of the time around WRIST and also around EVERY part of the body. That is something to study! I cannot believe the authors did not even look outside their labs to write about hoop-motion. This is so unprofessional. And it is sad that nobody noticed it. I am former professional in rhythmic gymnastics, as I did it for 10 years, now I am doing physics, so I know what I am talking about. It is sad that Ig-noble [sic] committee met such a bad unprofessional choice in 2004. with kind regards, Dr ------- Switzerland

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Understanding Economists STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 10/12/2004 12:15:00 AM ----- BODY: For a new, graphical approach to understanding the behavior of economists, try clicking on the button here. (Thanks to investigator Martin Meder for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Passing of Benveniste STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/12/2004 12:58:33 AM ----- BODY: Jacques Benveniste, the only person who was awarded two Ig Nobel Prizes, has died. Benveniste was awarded the 1991 Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize "for his persistent discovery that water, H2O, is an intelligent liquid, and for demonstrating to his satisfaction that water is able to remember events long after all trace of those events has vanished." He was awarded the 1998 Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize "for his homeopathic discovery that not only does water have memory, but that the information can be transmitted over telephone lines and the Internet." Benveniste's passing has been reported by Le Monde, Libération, Nouvel Observateur, Nature, The Guardian, and numerous other news organizations. (Thanks to Michael Benveniste for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Press Release: Caffeine Withdrawal is Real! STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 10/13/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: A press release issued by Johns Hopkins University on September 29, 2004, alerts the world that caffeine withdrawal is a genuine problem. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Persistence of Wallace STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/13/2004 09:06:34 AM ----- BODY: Ig Nobel Prize-winner Sanford Wallace is back in the news. In 1997, Wallace was awarded the Ig Nobel Prize in the field of Communications. The citation taciturnly identified Mr. Wallace and his early work:

Sanford Wallace, president of Cyber Promotions of Philadelphia -- neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night have stayed this self-appointed courier from delivering electronic junk mail to all the world.

Numeous reports in the press say that Mr. Wallace has now become a prosperous pioneer in the spread of computer spyware. And that he is being prosecuted for again pursuing his proclivity. Phew! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Friendly bacteria STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 10/14/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

A recent experiment in Germany shows that botox can make people's armpits smell better. Botox - aka "botulinum toxin" - has had a curious reputation with the public. First it was feared: it can kill, after all. Then it was cheered: the fashionable were delighted to hear that something with a hint of danger could make their wrinkles vanish. Now we are on the verge of a third, and rather different, wave of acclaim....

7 October 2004 The formula that proves that 'Sod's Law' really does strike at the worst possible time BOFFINS have finally proven mathematically a rule that everyone knows is perfectly obvious each time their e-mail crashes on a deadline or the shower runs icily cold....

The press release goes off the rails (and rails are a part of the saga of Captain Murphy), so to speak, when it tells the following, surprisingly wrong, history of Murphy:

Sod's Law is the English expression for US saying 'Murphy's Law', which was named after a US Air force boffin, Captain Edward Murphy, who in the late 1940s used his boss as a human guinea pig in a painful experiment that went embarrassingly wrong. The French call it 'La loi d'emmerdement maximum'.

Historian Nick Spark recently did the detective work to track down the details of Captain Edward A. Murphy, Jr's part in the story of Murphy's Law. Spark's report shows that there was and is quibbling about Murphy's exact role -- but that role certainly is very different than the nth-hand, much-mutated version in the British Gas press release. (NOTE: Murphy and two other individuals were honored -- posthumously in two out of the three cases -- with a 2003 Ig Nobel Prize.) As for the new formula... Well, anyone who wants detailed mathematical insights to the workings and misworkings and consequences of Murphy's Law would do well to consult Robert Matthews. Matthews is the world's preeminent authority on all things mathematical concerning Murphy's Law. (And like Murphy, he has been awarded an Ig Nobel Prize for work concerning Murphy's Law.) (Thanks to Wendy Grossman for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: October mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 10/16/2004 12:14:52 PM ----- BODY: The October issue of mini-AIR just went out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Flying Snails of Penge STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 10/18/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator D. Edwards writes in reference to a citation we presented in mini-AIR 2004-07. The citation is:

"Flying Snails -- How Far Can Truncatellina (Pulmonata: Vertiginidae) Be Blown Over the Sea?" C. Kirchner, R. Krätzner and F.W. Welter-Schultes, Journal of Molluscan Studies, vol. 63, 1997, pp. 479-87.

Investigator Edwards offers this:

Here in bosky Penge (South-East London) we don't wait for the wind to encourage molluscan aeronautics. The snails in our garden (Helix aspersa) are given free flying lessons over the fence. We know the lessons are effective because they don't come back. Yours strato-gastropodally, David Edwards.

Further thoughts about flying snails appeared in the June 22 Improbable Research newspaper column. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Five-second vote STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 10/18/2004 12:29:58 PM ----- BODY: Investigator Earle Spamer send this news about recent Ig Nobel winners:

The CNN.com "over"view of the Ig Nobel ceremony leads with the Prize for the combover. But they have an even higher notice of distinction. They provide a Quick Vote box for the unscientific measurement of whether voters adhere (or not) to the five-second rule.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Double-Harris STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 10/19/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: The Marcellus Mystery, described in the October mini-AIR, concerns a research paper that seems to have been co-written by three (3) people each named Lenora Marcellus. It prompted this letter from Alan W. Harris:

I don't know about Marcellus, et al., but here's another for you: Alan W. Harris and Alan W. Harris, "On the revision of radiometric albedos and diameters of asteroids," Icarus 126, 450-454 (1997). If you check the article, you will find the following footnote: 1. Since the authors' contributions to this work were equal, the order listed is alphabetical. And yes, the middle names are both "William". So this is a case of duplicity of three names. I leave it to the readers of AIR to decide if two authors with three identical names is more unusual than three authors with two identical names. I dare say the odds of either is less than being hit by an asteroid. Actually, both AWH's specialize in that very question. Cheers, Al the elder P.S. We're not related. P.P.S. If you cite the article, you can refer to it as "Al et Al".

NOTE: The other Harris was honored in a splendidly backwards gesture: with the naming of an asteroid. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Flower Speaker STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 10/20/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Let's Corporation has a device that is said to make flowers talk and sing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Safe as Milk STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 10/21/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Some science books are deadly dull. But there is no dullness in Robert Cohen's "Deadly" adventure series. It's got plenty of good, old-fashioned deadliness...

A202, Section 0343, Spring 1997 Kenneth D. Pimple, Ph.D. Tuesday-Thursday 8:00-9:15 am, Ballantine Hall 333 Description The name "Frankenstein" evokes the very clear image of a monster created by a mad scientist. But the title character of Mary Shelley's novel, Frankenstein, or, The Modern Prometheus, is not the monster, but the scientist. The novel is a touchstone for attitudes toward science and technology in the modern era, exploring the wondrous promise of science as well as its potential dangers, including its significant moral dangers. Science and technology have a pervasive and intimate impact on American life, and no one course can hope to touch on all aspects of the topic. In this course, we will examine a few intriguing texts to explore the intersection between values, science, and technology. Objectives Students who take this course will (a) learn about the relationship between science, technology, and values as expressed in a number of works of American literature and folklore; (b) explore their own attitudes toward science and values, and the place of science and technology in their own lives; (c) improve their ability to work collaboratively as a member of a team; (d) improve their critical thinking skills; and (e) improve their writing skills.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Sumo Studies STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 10/28/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

The juicy phrase "corruption in sumo wrestling" seems doubly delicious when you see it in the title of an economics research report....

There is one individual who, above all others, has plumbed the effects of custard. René A de Wijk is based at the Wageningen centre for food sciences in the Netherlands. De Wijk is enjoying a stunning burst of productivity...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. Read it here.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Elected, Algorithmically STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 11/05/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: The recent U.S. Presidential election is -- indisputably -- characterized by heavy-handed mathematical manipulation. Agorithmically speaking, the result was all too predictable. Investigator (and algorithm co-devisor) Eric Schulman, of Alexandria Virginia, triumphantly, if humbly, explains:

Unlike the Redskins Algorithm (the incumbent political party wins the presidency of the United States if the Washington Redskins American football team wins the last home game before the election) or the Red Sox Algorithm (if the Boston Red Sox baseball team wins the World[sic] Series in a U.S. presidential election year then Woodrow Wilson is elected president), the latest AIR U.S. Presidential Election Algorithm (Debowy and Schulman, AIR Online, 20 October 1993) correctly predicted the outcome of the 2004 United States presidential election. We expect to continue to acquire data on the validity of this algorithm at a rate of approximately 8 nanohertz for the foreseeable future.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Cats, cats, cats STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 11/05/2004 01:12:30 PM ----- BODY:

Cats, cats, cats, cats, cats, cats, cats. For those who cannot get enough about cats, we have posted a free, downloadable version of the special Cats Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Who/What is Them? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 11/08/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

"For cognitive psychologists, the student is the ideal subject. They are our drosophila, those hearty fruit flies studied by geneticists because they breed rapidly and have short lives and can be selectively bred for all sorts of traits." So says Roddy Roediger, in an essay called "What Should They Be Called?"

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Literary Construction Technique STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 11/09/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Genevieve Reynolds stumbled across a treatise about literary construction technique. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Interdisciplinary Research: Vegan Erotica STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 11/10/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Vegan erotica is one of the less celebrated new fields in interdisciplinary research and development. Ig Nobel Prize winners Jack and Rexella Van Impe have produced a video called Animals in Heaven? that some may consider to be a classic in the field. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Illustrating the point STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 11/11/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Dr Judith A Reisman wants you to avoid looking at dirty pictures. Reisman wants you to look at her explanation of the horrible things dirty pictures can do to your brain, your nervous system and your civil rights. To make it easy for you to know what she is talking about, the good doctor has included some nice dirty pictures in her report....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian. Read it here.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Thanks Tails STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 11/12/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Thanks Tails add a happily canine attribute to the traditionally rather un-doglike automobile. (Thanks to Mark Dionne and David Weinberger for bringing this to our attention.) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Little Taste Treats STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 11/15/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Maddalena Feliciello has gathered pointers to a few guides for insect lovers (that is, for those who love to eat insects). One is at Iowa State University, one at Mississippi State University, another at Ohio State University, and a fourth is at the University of Kentucky. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Policy on Sleeping Students STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 11/16/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Robert J. Thornton, Professor of Economics at Lehigh University, writes to tell us about his latest research:

On Putting Students To Sleep: A Classroom Policy Proposal

This article is not about the euthanizing of undergrads, although many of my students would probably consider this to be the “humane” thing to do to them during my lectures. Although I know that I sometimes bore my students, it’s still disappointing to see them glancing at the clock or even tapping their watches – as if to see if my lecture has actually succeeded in stopping the flow of time.

One of the dilemmas all professors occasionally face in the classroom is what to do about sleeping students. Should we ignore them and let them snooze away? Or should we awaken them? If we do nothing:

<> Sleepiness can be contagious, and who wants their entire class looking like the victims of a nerve gas attack?

<> It can escalate into the sleeper snoring and perhaps even talking aloud. So far none of my lectures has induced somnambulation although if they were to do so I know the direction the sleepwalker would be headed.

<> In this litigious age, doing nothing could even lead to lawsuits, perhaps giving a whole new meaning to the term “class-action suit.” I’m not referring only to those much-publicized cases where a student has sued because after four years of college he or she is illiterate. I’m worried about the dozing student whose head jerks perilously backward, inviting a whiplash claim. Or what about the sleeper whose head lurches forward, colliding with the hard desk surface. Perhaps it’s time for universities to give serious consideration to installing airbags in classrooms. (I kind of like the irony here: windbags setting off airbags…)

In light of the serious consequences of the do-nothing option, some might argue that rousing the sleeping student is the only appropriate course of action. But here also are difficulties:

<> Since the sleeper is often a considerable distance away, a request for a nudge or a poke might have to be made of a nearby student. However, what if a student declines to do so? (“You put him to sleep. You wake him up!”)

<> One of my senior colleagues used to hurl an eraser toward the sleeper, but his aim wasn’t so good and other students in the vicinity often took the hit. And what if the student still doesn’t wake up after being struck with the eraser? What does that say for my lecture?

<> Finally, the sleeping student may resent being awakened! Once, after having been pulled from what seemed to be a coma, a somewhat irritated student informed me after class that he had had a very late night, and had been trying to catch up on his rest.

So what, then, are professors to do in such situations? While attending a professional convention not too long ago, I hit upon a possible solution. Before checking out of my hotel, I asked the maid if I could take along a couple of those “Do Not Disturb” signs that hang on doorknobs. During the next class, I warned my students they might find the lecture unusually soporific and explained to them my “to wake or not to wake” dilemma. I then invited them to pick up one of the signs. If sleep appeared imminent, those who did not wish to be roused could simply hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their shirt or sweater button. It would be a clear signal that they wished to be allowed to, well, “rest in peace.”

The idea has so far met with resounding success. In fact, there have been so many student requests for doorknob signs that I’ve had to attend far more professional meetings than ever before, much to the chagrin of my department chairman. Some of my students have been known to walk off with the signs, maybe finding that the signs are respected in other lectures as well. There is also an additional pedagogical benefit stemming from the fact that the “Do Not Disturb” signs are usually written in several languages:

<> “No moleste”
<> “Priere de ne pas deranger”
<> “Bitte nicht storen”

This means that, even though electing to slumber through a lecture, a student can still be honing his or her foreign language skills. In fact, the only drawback I have experienced so far is that sometimes students mistakenly fasten the wrong side of the sign to their shirts or sweaters. The result is that I occasionally spot a “Maid – Please Clean Room” request staring at me in the lecture hall. So far, none of the university’s janitorial staff has responded to the requests, but maybe my lectures have affected them also.

Comments, complaints, and kudos should be directed to Professor Thornton.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: November mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 11/16/2004 11:20:04 AM ----- BODY:

The November issue of mini-AIR just went out.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Esther the Cold War Kitty STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 11/17/2004 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY: What is the true story behind the legendary book Esther the Cold War Kitty? Was it written by the CIA? The KGB? Both? Neither? Scholars might never agree as to what is the real story behind the story. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Filterbag Appreciated STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 11/17/2004 05:40:14 PM ----- BODY:

Emil Filterbag seldom gets much public acclaim. An article by James Clarke in the November 18, 2004 issue of the South African newspaper The Star gives a nodding moment of appreciation to one of Filterberg's many fine reports.

Filterbag's column in the recent special Beauty Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research is a typically stylish rundown of research news that others have overlooked. Here is a typical (if such a thing can every be accurately said of Filterbag's writing) passage:

Clinique's discovery of an anti-gravity force has not yet been reported in any of the standard scientific research literature. This absence is evidence, no doubt, of the slowness of the science community's traditional publishing procedures...

[Filterbag was describing the discovery that made possible many of Clinique's most innovative, eyebrow-raising products, including Anti-Gravity Firming Lift Lotion and Anti-Gravity Firming Lift Mask.]

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Do shoes cause schizophrenia? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 11/18/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Do shoes cause schizophrenia? Jarl Flensmark of Malmo wants to know, and in a recent paper in the journal Medical Hypotheses, he explains why....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Antarctica Journal of Mathematics STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 11/19/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Matthias Ehrgott writes:

Universities put some pressure on their academics to get research (improbable or otherwise) published. In most countries/continents there exist Journals using that countries/continents name, such as Journal of the American Mathematical Society. Recently someone (in India!) discovered that the mathematical community of an entire continent lacks a journal, so he launched The Antarctic Journal of Mathematics.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bureaucracy in Copenhagen STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 11/22/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY: The Bureaucracy Club is proud to welcome to its ranks the Bureaucracy Club of Copenhagen. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Dr. Reisman is Excited STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 11/22/2004 03:36:35 PM ----- BODY:

Dr. Judith Reisman, whom we profiled recently, is now reported to be in a new sex-fueled frenzy.

Some time right after our profile appeared, Dr. Reisman's online collection of wonderfully explicit dirty pictures, which she produced so that the public could recognize what to avoid looking at, was removed from her web site. Or perhaps she has not removed the collection. It is possible that Dr. Reisman has covered it up, or perhaps she has moved it to a less prominent part of her web site. In the latter case, you will have to go digging to find it.

This may or may not be part of the aforementioned new frenzy. To learn about that, read a report in the November 22, 2004 issue of the Washington Post. Here is a taste of that report, which was written by Alan Cooperman. It describes a campaign being mounted by self-admittedly moral groups who say they deplore the new film about sex research pioneer Alfred C. Kinsey:

Prominent among them is Judith Reisman, author of the 1991 book "Kinsey, Sex and Fraud." Citing her work, Concerned Women for America, the nation's largest women's group, has encouraged its members to go to theaters and politely hand out leaflets that accuse Kinsey, who died in 1956, of committing child sexual abuse as well as scientific fraud.
...
Reisman noted that she had seen only the first 15 minutes of the film because the producers cut off a private screening in Los Angeles as soon as they learned she was in the audience. But she said she closely followed the movie's filming and was certain it was "a coverup."

Dr. Reisman is trying to draw attention to the new movie. We wish her well, and hope, for her sake, that she succeeds in her efforts.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: author Not Available STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 11/23/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Investigator Marc Sadowsky writes: "I'm not sure if you're familiar with the author Not Available. Amazon.com has figured out I'm a big fine of his (more likely hers) and has notified me of his/her latest book. Here is their letter:"

Dear Amazon.com Customer, We've noticed that customers who have purchased Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 11th Edition with CD-ROM and Online Subscription by Merriam-Webster, also purchased books by Not Available. For this reason, you might like to know that Not Available's National Geographic Atlas of the World, Eighth Edition (National Geographic Atlas of the World) will be released soon. You can pre-order your copy at a savings of 32% by following the link below.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Viva Filterbag STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 11/24/2004 01:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Teresa Wilcox writes:

I have long admired the reporting of your man Emil Filterbag. Viva Filterbag! This is probably pointless, but I thought you should know that if you go to the (to me) very strange web site maamumiaa.tripod.com/index59.html, you will find the phrase "email filter bag." As I said, I thought you should know this.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Short-sleeved deviants STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 11/24/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The purpose of this study was to examine meanings assigned by observers to an adolescent wearing an alcohol-promotional T-shirt." So begins a study published in the September issue of the Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal. Scholars had never tackled this exact question. Now they have....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Rubèn Serral Gracià's Big Day STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 11/25/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Today is a big day for Rubèn Serral Gracià, for two reasons. He is defending his Ph.D. thesis at Universiteit van Amsterdam, and he is the newest member of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

We hope you will join us in offering our congratulations!

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Atkins Diet Opera STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 11/26/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The words to "The Atkins Diet Opera" are now on our web site, along with several photos from the mini-opera's debut performance, which occured as part of the 2004 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. (Video of the entire mini-opera -- and the entire 2004 Ig ceremony, is also online.)

Today is the day of the annual Ig Nobel broadcast on National Public Radio's "Science Friday with Ira Flatow" program, which you can listen to either on the radio or on the Science Friday web site.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: New Judgment for Homeopathic Medicines STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 11/29/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Are homeopathic medicines truly medicines? Officially, um, yes. Now they are. So says the U.S. Bureau of Customs and Border Protection.

In a ruling published on October 27, 2004, the Bureau did a flip-flop, reversing its previous opinion. Prior to October 27, the Bureau said that homeopathic medicines are, more or less, foods. But henceforth, the official classification for them is "medicaments."

(The Bureau, by the way, seems to dislike being called by its official name. The Bureau almost never calls itself "The Bureau" in public. The Bureau prefers to be called "U.S. Customs & Border Protection.")

For the manufacturers (and their attorneys), the question "Is it medicine or is it, er, food?" is a matter of money. The import duties are different for "medicaments" than for food-related items.

What about the medical worth of homeopathic medicaments? The U.S. Food and Drug Administration remains (officially, at least) confused as to whether homeopathic medicines are medicines, or foodstuffs, or perhaps some sort of lovely dream.

And how do scientists size up homeopathic medicaments? What is their take on the question? Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very few scientists feel that homeopathic medicines are medicines. That's because most scientists fail to accept the Second Principle of Homeopathy. Here is that Second Principle: The most powerful medicines are the ones that contain no actual medicine.

(The First Principle of Homeopathy, by the way, is as colorful as the Second Principle. Here is that First Principle: Things that can kill you can cure you.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Richest Man in the World STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 11/30/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: Every year we receive five thousand or more nominations for the Ig Nobel Prizes. Most are treated with strictest confidence. A few, however, are meant for public consumption. Here is one such, sent in by investigator T.J. Clarke:

I would like to nominate my friends Peter Grist and Mark Wilkinson for the Ig Nobel prize for economics. We used to have this bet that entailed paying 10 pence to every participant every time an expletive was used. After the bet ended, the amount each participant owed doubled 3 times per week until we broke up for summer. 10 weeks passed and Peter Grist and Mark Wilkinson still have not payed, they owe around a combined £8 444 249 301 319 680 (£8.4 quadrillion) to be split between myself and 2 others. I believe that means, because of these 2 people, I am joint richest person in the world, and they are in more debt than anyone, ever. Thank you for considering my nomination, Timothy J. Clarke

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: A Photo of Owney STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 12/01/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Many readers have requested a look at Owney, or rather at the carcass of Owney, the late postal mascot dog, who/which is on display at the Museum of Postal History, in Washington, DC. The Museum's web site now has a lovely photo.

Owney's tale is told, we have just learned, in yet another (yes, there's been more than one!) book, called A Lucky Dog: Owney, U.S. Rail Mail Mascot.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: How High Jump Those Fleas? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 12/02/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Four years ago, Marie-Christine Cadiergues demonstrated that dog fleas jump higher than cat fleas. Cosmopolite flea fans are probably still gaga over Cadiergues's report - city folk tend to care about cats and dogs (and by extension, their little passengers) more than about other animals. But a new report by Boris Krasnov compares the jumping abilities of not just two but SEVEN kinds of fleas. ...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Spanish edition of the Ig book STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 12/02/2004 04:48:27 PM ----- BODY:

The Spanish edition of the book The Ig Nobel Prizes is now out.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: A look at the Ig Ceremony STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 12/03/2004 07:27:00 PM ----- BODY:

The official report about the 2004 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony includes some nice -- and memorable -- photos. It is published in the November-December issue of the magazine. The issue will be emerging from the printer any day now. You can get an advance look, because we've put part of the Ig report up on our web site, as well as in print.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Self-Caught Fish STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 12/06/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Self-caught fish. This term, long misunderstood (as is the "nonsmoking room"), finds and increased level of acceptance and use.

So writes investigator Paul Price, who cites two examples that were presented to the Society for Risk Analysis. One is a research report titled "Rum and Fish: Using Recreational Models To Assess Exposure from Consuming Self-Caught Fish." See details here and here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Clear-and-Pithy (Snyder) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 12/06/2004 10:06:06 PM ----- BODY:

Here are the winners, and some runners-up, in the Clear-and-Pithy contest that was announced in mini-AIR 2004-11.

The contest was to translate this scholarly thought into a clear, accurate SEVEN-WORD summary that ANYONE can understand:

"Specifically, I have been concerned with the processes by which individuals construct and enact motivational 'agendas for action' that draw upon and integrate features of their personal identities and their social settings, and that guide and direct their pursuit of relevant life outcomes in diverse domains of functioning."

That original thought comes from the web site of U. Minnesota professor Mark Snyder.

The winning translation:

"Why do people do what they do?"
-- INVESTIGATOR ERICA STEWART -- INVESTIGATOR WILLIAM (BILL) PIKE -- INVESTIGATOR NANCY GOULD -- INVESTIGATOR HUBERT TURNER -- INVESTIGATOR CAROL STONE -- INVESTIGATOR RICHARD LIPP -- INVESTIGATOR LEIGH TOOTH -- INVESTIGATOR CHUCK ROYALTY -- INVESTIGATOR ELISE MATTHESEN -- INVESTIGATOR MEGAN CAPER -- INVESTIGATOR WILLIAM LEOGRANDE -- INVESTIGATOR NATHAN ETESSAMI -- INVESTIGATOR TIM SHOWALTER -- INVESTIGATOR JESSE SKINNER -- INVESTIGATOR PATRICK LENON -- INVESTIGATOR JULIA LUNETTA -- INVESTIGATOR JOHNNA KLUKAS -- INVESTIGATOR CHRIS LOUTH -- INVESTIGATOR MIKE NOLAN -- INVESTIGATOR LILLY JONES -- INVESTIGATOR WIM CRUSIO -- INVESTIGATOR MARK SJOTHUN -- INVESTIGATOR KATHY MAGRI WOO -- INVESTIGATOR ELENA SHERMAN -- ...and many others.

Some runners-up:

[Being a Psychologist myself, I very well understand that Professor Snyder has to express himself like that. It´s not easy to get on or in a Chair and stay there when you talk like the guy next door. Maybe that´s why he didn´t just say:]
"My concern is: what makes people tick?"
-- INVESTIGATOR ULLA MOHR-RUEB

"I wonder what other people think about." -- INVESTIGATOR JESSICA MORTON
"How come people do stuff anyhow, huh?" -- INVESTIGATOR LOUIS G LIPPMAN
"I'm curious about why people do stuff." -- INVESTIGATOR IAN SANDERSDON
"I investigate why people do things." -- INVESTIGATOR JUDITH STEIN
"Just what makes Dick and Jane tick?" -- INVESTIGATOR SHEILA ETTINGER
"I study ways people plan their lives." -- INVESTIGATOR KEN GORELICK:
"I study the way people make plans." -- INVESTIGATOR VICTOR AAGAARD
"I'm interested in how people set goals." -- INVESTIGATOR JEAN HIGHAM
"How do people determine and pursue goals?" -- INVESTIGATOR MARJORIE WINKLER
"I study why people do what they do." -- INVESTIGATOR JORGE STOLFI
"I study people's reasons for doing things." -- INVESTIGATOR CRAIG BURLEY
"I wonder why people do their thing." -- INVESTIGATOR PAUL KUCKEIN
"What makes a person tick? Who knows?" -- INVESTIGATOR STEVEN A. SEIFERT
"My philosophy: different strokes for different folks." -- INVESTIGATOR IAN DAVIS
"My specific concern is people in general." -- INVESTIGATOR MATT BRIGGS

"How do people decide what to do?"
-- INVESTIGATOR PAUL STAMLER -- INVESTIGATOR CAROL BUCHMILLER -- INVESTIGATOR MARK MARIS -- INVESTIGATOR ALAN LESGOLD -- INVESTIGATOR CAROL MCCOLLOUGH -- INVESTIGATOR DAVID MARPLES -- ...and many others.

"What do I want to do today?" -- INVESTIGATOR DOV WEINSTOCK
"I study peoples' what-to-do lists." -- INVESTIGATOR William Jackson
"I investigated how people motivate themselves." -- INVESTIGATOR FERDINAND PEPER
"I studied various people's diverse lifestyle choices." -- INVESTIGATOR GRAHAM R. CHAMBERS
"How people get things done their way." -- INVESTIGATOR MADHU MENON
"I study people’s to-do lists." -- INVESTIGATOR DIANE J. GRAVES
"How do people write to-do lists?" -- INVESTIGATOR NICOLA MISANI
"I want to understand how people behave." -- INVESTIGATOR MATIAS HERNANDEZ
"I study why people do things." -- INVESTIGATOR MARTIN BLUMSACK
"I care about why people do things." -- INVESTIGATOR DREW KIME
"My thesis: People broadly act like themselves." -- INVESTIGATOR DANIEL BOND "How to get that woman into bed." -- INVESTIGATOR ANDREAS ZEMANN

SPECIAL MENTION: **** PITHY AND UNCLEAR ****

"Development and application of personalized motivational techniques." -- INVESTIGATOR K. LEBER

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Owney of Slough STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 12/07/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

In re our report on Owney, the Postal dog, investigator Chris Leadbeater writes:

Here's a British equivalent for Owney, not quite but this dog used to hang around the station, took trips on trains and collected money for charity."

The British dog-in-a-box, in the fabled-yet-actual town of Slough, is called Station Jim. To some observers, he/it is a figure of some very small romance and mystery.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: December mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 12/07/2004 10:49:00 AM ----- BODY:

The December issue of mini-AIR just went out.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: What's In a Name? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 12/08/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY: We receive many unusual press releases. Here is one that came in recently:

PRESS RELEASE Date: October 22, 2004 The Wade Research Foundation (W.R.F.), a non-profit corporation headquartered in Somerset, New Jersey, USA, has just released a report about the successful testing of new concept whereby a person's name (or other word that can be constructed using letters of the English alphabet) is used as the basis for designing a bioactive peptide. [Peptides are small proteins, polymers of 21 different types of amino acids, in which the amino acids building blocks are linked together chemically, like beads on a string. A well known example of a peptide is the hormone, insulin.] The name-peptide is then chemically synthesized, and subjected to a variety of tests to determine if it has any biological or other activity. This concept represents an alternative to conventional methods for discovering new bioactive molecules, and is based upon an internationally accepted scientific convention in which the chemical names of the 21 naturally occurring amino acids are abbreviated by using a different letter of the English alphabet for each type of amino acid. The convention is recognized by scientists throughout the world, and can be found in any textbook of biochemistry or molecular biology. As a test of the name-to-bioactive peptide concept, a peptide was designed to have an amino acid sequence (i.e., the arrangement of amino acids in the polymer, or the arrangement of beads on the string) that corresponded to the letters of the name of the current US Secretary of State, Colin Powell. The resulting peptide, COLINPOWELL, was chemically synthesized and subjected to a battery of tests at New Jersey Medical School (USA), New York University (USA), the National Cancer Institute (USA), and Karolinska Institutet, Sweden (the institution whose faculty select the yearly winners of the Nobel Prize in Medicine). It gave positive results in 50% of tests including: anticancer activity (inhibition of the proliferation of human breast cancer cells); immune boosting activity (stimulation of chemotaxis of human monocytes and neutrophils); no deleterious effects on plasma coagulation. Studies of the structure of the peptide showed that it resembled portions of naturally occurring proteins. These results indicate that peptide, COLINPOWELL, might have useful biomedical properties, and the W.R.F. is currently attempting to collaborate with other researchers to expand the range of testing on the peptide. In addition to potential biomedical benefits, the name-to-peptide project has the potential to be useful as a teaching tool for both scientific and nonscientific audiences, and as a bridge between these audiences. The success of the first name-to-peptide project has encouraged the W.R.F. to solicit customers/investors in order to expand the name-to-peptide program. More detailed information, and a copy of the report, may be obtained from the W.R.F. contact listed below. David Wade, PhD Wade Research Foundation 70 Rodney Avenue Somerset, New Jersey 08873 Web: www.wade-research.com

We of course wish them "good luck!" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Cruise Invitation for Hairy Scientists STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 12/09/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

There's exciting news for the members of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS). Carnival Cruise Lines seems to be inviting the members and their hair to embark on a group cruise. Here is the invitation:

Hi,

I want to introduce myself, I am Todd Satterlee, Business Development Manager for Carnival Cruise Lines. I organize group cruises for Carnival Cruise Lines with many organizations. I would like to help you plan a group cruise for The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.

Carnival currently has 20 ships sailing to all parts of the Caribbean, Bahamas, Alaska, Mexican Riviera, Hawaii, Panama Canal, and Canada New England. Carnival is The Worlds Most Popular Cruise Line. We are the leader in the contemporary market.

Please let me know if you would be interested and I can show you how your organization can take an affordable cruise, while earning free cabins and amenities. This is a great way for your members to gather and meet other members. We offer free meeting space on board.

Cruising is so Popular Today and it will be a great benefit to your organization and members.

Please contact me at tsatterlee@carnival.com

I look forward to helping you plan a very exciting Carnival Cruise Group!

Regards,

Todd Satterlee
Business Development Manager
Carnival Cruise Lines
Western, Central, & Northern Massachusetts
Albany Capital Region
tsatterlee@carnival.com
800-327-7276 cclsales@carnival.com

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hello Dolly (Yo, Marlene) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 12/10/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"The study of Marlene Dietrich's relationship with her dolls has taken me into some new research territory." With these words Judith Mayne, the distinguished professor of French studies and Italian studies and women's studies at Ohio State University, takes all of us into new territory....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hair Club Scientists of Year Chosen STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 12/11/2004 07:32:54 PM ----- BODY:

Congratulations to the newly chosen Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) Men and Women of the Year! They and their hair have been immortalized in downloadable posters.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Censored Science Fair STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 12/13/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Steve Auerweck, who is a science-fair enthusiast, writes:

I'm reading a novel by T.C. Boyle based on the Kinsey sex research project, and googled a few terms, leading to this page: http://www.all-science-fair-projects.com/science_fair_projects_encyclopedia/Bartholin's_gland

It doesn't exactly lead to all the info we'd need for our science fair projects. Too bad. We could probably really impress the judges.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Karaoke and the Ig STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 12/14/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigators Bob Frenay and Hanya Brayman, who traveled 250 miles to attend the recent Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, write:

On the way out of Cambridge, Hanya and I stopped for breakfast at a place on Massachusetts Ave. at State St. called “Miracle of Science Bar + Grill.” A friendly, somewhat funky little place with a menu in the form of a periodic table. I don’t know who runs it but something tells me that he or she may be one of your people. It was across the street from a place called -- significantly, we thought -- the All Asia karaoke bar.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Congratulations, Jerry Crook STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 12/14/2004 01:06:26 PM ----- BODY:

Congratulations are due to Jerry Crook. New Scientist magazine's "Feedback" column, in the December 4, 2004 issue, presents this item:

EARLIER this year, we noted the headline "Crook named CEO" of the year and wondered "So what's new?" (20 March, 2004). Now we find that the person the headline referred to, Jerry Crook, is in the news again. The online news agency Nextgenerationservices recently had this to say: "Jerry Crook has stepped down as CEO of up-and-coming OSS firm Cramer Systems Ltd after being charged with conspiracy to defraud investors while he was an executive at software firm Peregrine Systems Inc. Crook is just one of a number of former Peregrine executives charged with conspiracy to commit a multibillion-dollar securities fraud between 1997 and 2002."

As a former executive of Peregrine Systems, Jerry Crook is a co-winner of the 2002 Ig Nobel Prize in the field of Economics. That Prize was awarded to:

The executives, corporate directors, and auditors of Enron, Lernaut & Hauspie [Belgium], Adelphia, Bank of Commerce and Credit International [Pakistan], Cendant, CMS Energy, Duke Energy, Dynegy, Gazprom [Russia], Global Crossing, HIH Insurance [Australia], Informix, Kmart, Maxwell Communications [UK], McKessonHBOC, Merrill Lynch, Merck, Peregrine Systems, Qwest Communications, Reliant Resources, Rent-Way, Rite Aid, Sunbeam, Tyco, Waste Management, WorldCom, Xerox, and Arthur Andersen, for adapting the mathematical concept of imaginary numbers for use in the business world.

[NOTE: Video of the entire 2002 Ig Nobel Ceremony can be viewed the Ig Nobel web site. The Economics Prize was awarded towards the end of the event. The audience, 1200 strong, was especially appreciative of the Economics Prize winners.]

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Matched Locks? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 12/15/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Sharon DeLisle sent us this inquiry:

I am struck by the resemblance between the two newest members of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS). Dr. Peter Jorgensen and Dr. Catherine Fiorello appear to be a matched pair. Are they in some way mutual admirers?

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Santa studies STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 12/16/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The Christmas season is a time to pause and ponder. Here are some ponderous Christmas-related research reports to give you pause, perhaps....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hair complications at sea STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 12/16/2004 12:35:58 PM ----- BODY:

Investigator Kim Dill writes:

I have recently joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS), and have just seen that offer for a cruise for club members. What a neat idea! However, I think their drains would be clogged w/ hair for weeks afterwards.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Best of the bad STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 12/16/2004 05:48:03 PM ----- BODY:

Ben Goldacre of The Guardian has just announced this year's crop of Bad Science Award winners. One of our favorites is Dr. Ali ("Britain's top integrated health expert") of Harley Street, whose eminence and apparent lack of an MD degree have been remarked upon by admirers and passers-by.

(Thanks to Linda Rosa for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The maneuvers of Heimlich STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 12/17/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

We have been reading strange reports about the celebrated Dr. Henry Heimlich of Heimlich Maneuver fame. A report in the December 8 issue of the Detroit Metro Times is headlined "Off the Deep End."

We ourselves recently encountered and heartily enjoyed the stirring book "Milk: The Deadly Poison," co-authored glowingly by Dr. Heimlich's wife, Jane Heimlich.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Skeptic vs. psychic STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 12/17/2004 12:44:22 PM ----- BODY:

Investigator Wendy Grossman has had an adventure that can be expressed by the equation:

y = skeptic + psychic + television

Investigator Grossman sent us a full report, with the special instruction to "Be sure to follow the link to the original blog entry in first paragraph."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Poet Ramel Loves Insects STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 12/20/2004 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

Gordon Ramel loves insects. He has written poetry, and he is trying to educate a sometimes unappreciative world.

Here is an educational effort that appeared recently on the ENTOMO-L discussion list. Gordon Ramel responded to this inquiry:

FROM: Erin Johnson

I'm working on a television series about entertaining 'bugs' (I use the term 'bugs' in its loosest possible sense!) and I'm wondering which bugs entomologists find entertaining. Which bugs make you guys laugh out loud?

I've heard of people dancing with mantids and getting stick insects to dance to music, but are there other bugs that you can have fun with or that have particularly humorous behaviour?

Erin Johnson
Researcher
NHNZ
Dunedin
New Zealand

http://www.nhnz.tv

Here is Gordon Ramel's educational reply. (Note that he began by discreetly informing E. Johnson that E does not stand for Erin):

FROM: Gordon Ramel

Eric,

I hate to say this but the ideas you suggest are ludicrous, and that is being polite. The world will be much better off without the program you are thinking of making, it is an insult to both nature and humanity, a perfect example of how stupid people can get when they worship money.

Bugs do not make me laugh because unlike people they live in harmony with God and all their actions are beautiful. What you want to do is plain ugly.

Gordon Ramel

The Earthlife Web

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Banned in Britain STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 12/21/2004 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Norman Hutchins has been banned from every hospital, according to a report by the BBC, and reports elsewhere, including the pervert-reportage-specializing Mirror.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Chinese edition of Ig book STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 12/21/2004 03:44:03 PM ----- BODY:

The Chinese edition of the book The Ig Nobel Prizes is now out.

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There's much info available about Professor Jesus Mastache Roman, the scholar who was the unfortunate posthumous victim of a typographical error that converted him into the memorably named Jesus Mustache Roman.

Professor Mastache's son, Alberto Mastache, has compiled a good deal of biographical and other knowledge about Professor Mastache.

(Thanks to Alberto Mastache for alerting us to this.)

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Once again, thanks to Popular Science magazine, there is a list of the worst jobs in science.

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Pediatric reactions to Santa Claus are photo-documented in a new research project. Based in South Florida, the project would seem to confirm the disturbing findings reported last year (and subsequently in more detail) by 2003 Ig Nobel Literature Prize winner John Trinkaus.

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Do you truly have restless legs? Consider, then, the work of the Restless Legs Syndrome Foundation.

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The report "Testing a Language-Using Parrot for Telepathy," by Rupert Sheldrake and Aimée Morgana, includes these provocatively calming words of confident caution:

[T]hese experiments provide compelling evidence of interspecies telepathy. This phenomenon is currently unexplained within the dominant scientific model.

(Thanks to investigator Audrey Devine-Eller for bringing this to our attention.)

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"Boys Will Be Boys." The column of that name runs in every issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. The column from the November-December issue is on our web site, as well as in the magazine.

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (formerly and lovingly known as the Centers for Disease Control) have/has issued a statistics-based safety reminder for New Year's Eve celebrants. The full report appears in the December 24, 2004 issue of MMWR. Here are some highlights:

New Year's Eve Injuries Caused by Celebratory Gunfire --- Puerto Rico, 2003

Bullets fired into the air during celebrations fall with sufficient force to cause injury and death (1). However, few data exist regarding the epidemiology of injuries related to celebratory gunfire. In Puerto Rico, where such celebratory actions are common, news media reports have indicated that approximately two persons die and an estimated 25 more are injured each year from celebratory gunfire on New Year's Eve. The Puerto Rico Department of Health (PRDOH) invited CDC and local law enforcement agencies to assist in the investigation of injuries resulting from celebratory gunfire that occurred during December 31, 2003--January 1, 2004. This report summarizes the findings of that investigation....

A probable celebratory gunfire injury was defined as an unintentional firearm injury (International Classification of Diseases, Tenth Revision codes W32--W34 [2]) inflicted outdoors by an unidentified assailant during the 48-hour period beginning 12 a.m., December 31, 2003, and ending 11:59 p.m., January 1, 2004. Available information regarding the injury or event had to be consistent with the return trajectory of a bullet fired into the air....

(Thanks to Kristine Danowski for bringing this to our attention.)

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A hamster-powered night light enthusiast has created a hamster-powered night light with a custom low-RPM alternator.

(Thanks to investigator Dan Fingerman for bringing this to our attention.)

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At year's end, the acceptance speeches of the 2004 Ig Nobel Prize winners are, perhaps, worth pondering.

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Not so long ago, "in commemoration of the 75th anniversary of the discovery of penicillin -- a happy accident in which rogue mold grew in a forgotten petri dish, the Royal Society of Chemistry has asked its most unhygienic stakeholders to send in photos of their most disgusting, molded-over and crufted-up coffee cups."

Many people did so. You can see some of the most memorable cups here.

(Thanks to Mark Dionne for bringing this to our attention.)

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Personal nose filters. Yes, personal nose filters. The manufacturer reports that they (a) are "tested by Universities in Belgium and The Buteyko Breathing Institute in Asia;" (b) do not protect against poisonous or toxic gases, fumes, vapors, etc.; and (c) should be kept out of the reach of children.

(Thanks to Earle Spamer for bringing this to our attention.)

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It is time, again, to pause and recongnize Kentucky's Big Bone Lick State Park, the proudly self-proclaimed Birthplace of American Vertebrate Paleontology.

(Thanks to investigator Verena Wieloch for bringing this to our attention.)

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The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) has just chosen its new Woman of the Year and Man of the Year. The choices this time are triply luxuriant and flowing...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

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The Nobel Foundation has prepared a sublime, two-minute, time-lapse look at the Nobel banquet. It's available in both RealPlayer and Quicktime formats.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Nobel winners pay $13 million STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/08/2005 12:45:35 PM ----- BODY:

More Ig Nobel winners are in the news. "Ten former outside directors of Enron will pay $13 million from their own funds to settle shareholder lawsuits over the U.S. company's collapse," according to a report in the January 8, 2005 issue of the Washington Times.

Enron's executives, corporate directors, and auditors shared (with their counterparts at twenty-some other corporations) the 2002 Ig Nobel Economics Prize, for "adapting the mathematical concept of imaginary numbers for use in the business world."

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And still another Ig Nobel winner is in the news again. Sanford Wallace, who has sometimes playfully called himself "Spamford Wallace," is the subject of numerous press accounts such as this January 5, 2005 Associated Press report carried by KNRV-TV in Reno, Nevada:

'Spam King' agrees to stop invading computers until FTC lawsuit is resolved

Under an agreement with the Federal Trade Commission, a man known as the "Spam King" will stop infecting computers with advertising programs until a federal lawsuit against him is resolved. Las Vegas resident Sanford Wallace and his companies are required by the agreement to send online ads only to people who visit their Web sites. The government says Wallace used spyware to infiltrate computers, overwhelming them with ads and other programs. Then, he tried to sell programs he claimed would fix the problems. The government said the remedies do not work....

Wallace was awarded the 1997 Ig Nobel Communications Prize. The Prize citation explained that "neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night have stayed this self-appointed courier from delivering electronic junk mail to all the world."

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Mathematics has provoked yet another raging controversy. A January 8, 2005 report in The Scotsman explains:

The BBC was accused of using shock tactics tonight as the row over its screening of the Jerry Springer musical moved into the political arena.

Critics have alleged that the show, to be shown uncut on BBC2 tonight, features more than 8,000 swear words and have been angered by scenes showing Jesus in a nappy admitting he is “a bit gay”.

The BBC insist there are less than 300 hundred offensive words in the opera, even under the broadest definition of the term, including 117 ‘f-words’ and seven ‘c-words’.

The disputed 8,000 figure is arrived at by multiplying the number of swear words by the number of people singing them in the show.

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This week's under-publicized researcher of the week is Assistant Professor April Trees of the Communication Department of the University of Colorado. Dr. Trees should not be mistaken for any of her namesakes.

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We join the many who admire Colin Purrington's celebrated textbook disclaimers.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Rothschild’s Ouroborus STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/12/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

This week's selection in our READING FOR PLEASURE series is "Rothschild’s Ouroborus."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Repetition Repetition Repetition STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 01/13/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Yes, yes, yes - there are many ways to repeat yourself. Some are more meaningful than others, says a clever linguist in the Netherlands.

Technically speaking, "Yes, yes, yes!" is an example of "multiple sayings in social interaction". Tanya Stivers has pursued, bagged, and intensively studied a small herd of multiple sayings....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

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Investigator David H. Grosof writes:

A team of three successfully have used computation and communication devices to improve their odds at the roulette wheel, made 2.5 million bucks and did it legally. Reason: you can bet after the wheel has been spun, and they got enough data from imaging to improve their odds. I wonder what Edward Thorp, author of Beat the Dealer and the father of blackjack card-counting, has to say about this. (Thorp went on to hedge fund and derivatives betting on Wall St.). Here are two mainstream news reports, and a more technical report, and a typical eclectic Slashdot discussion.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Reading for pleasure: Mimesis STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/17/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

This week's selection in our READING FOR PLEASURE series is "Mimesis as a phenomenon of semiotic communication."

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Here is further news about technologist/inventor/adventurer/real-life-action-hero Troy Hurtubise and his newest invention -- a device that Troy says can see through walls .

This is another thrilling new chapter in our continuing series of reports about the inventively adventurous exploits of the man who was awarded the 1998 Ig Nobel Prize in the field of Safety Engineering. Troy's Ig Nobel citation reads:

Troy Hurtubise, of North Bay, Ontario, for developing, and personally testing a suit of armor that is impervious to grizzly bears.

Investigative reporter Phil Novak of Baytoday.ca has kindly let us reprint here his report about this latest development:

Hurtubise says invention sees through walls

By Phil Novak
BayToday.ca, Sunday, January 16, 2005

Troy Hurtubise has done the seemingly impossible with his newest invention and defied all known rules of physics, he says.
The Angel Light—Hurtubise claims the concept came to him in a recurring dream—can reportedly see through walls, as if there was no barrier at all.
That’s not all, though.

So impressed
Hurtubise, 41, said the device detects stealth technology.
And he’s done the tests to prove it, with the covert help of scientists at the famed Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Hurtubise said.
If that’s not enough, Hurtubise also said the French government sent representatives to North Bay to witness a demonstration of the Angel Light.
Hurtubise said the reps were so impressed with the eight-foot long device they paid him $40,000 in cash to put the finishing touches on it.

New universe
The French, Hurtubise adds, have also agreed to pay him a “substantial” amount of money for the technology if it passes a series of rigorous tests.
“They couldn’t believe what they saw,” Hurtubise told BayToday.ca.
“One of them told me it was as if I’d discovered a new universe.”
Gary Dryfoos, a consultant and former long-time instructor at MIT, said "there's a Nobel Prize" for Hurtubise if the Angel Light really performs as described.
"There are laws of physics waiting to be written for what he's talking about," Dryfoos said.
The French aren't the only ones interested in Hurtubise's innovations.
BayToday.ca has obtained documentation confirming that the former head of Saudi counter-intelligence, who asked that his name not be used, has been in regular contact with Hurtubise regarding the Angel Light, fire paste, and the Light Infantry Military Blast Cushions (LIMBC).

Ultra-wideband technology
While Hurtubise’s claims appear, on the surface, to strain credulity, he has now placed himself miles ahead in the quest by high-tech companies to invent something that will do the same thing.
Motorola Inc. for example, has set its sights on emerging technology that could allow first responders and Special Forces to see through building walls, the Washington Technology Web site reports.
Camero Inc. an Israeli firm founded by technology and intelligence veterans, received $5 million from Motorola and other investors to develop portable imaging radar that uses ultra-wideband technology to create a 3-D picture of objects that are concealed by walls or other barriers.

Plasma light
Three units make up the Angel Light.
The main unit, which Hurtubise calls the centrifuge, contains the Angel Light’s brains and includes black, white, red and fluorescent light sources, as well as seven industrial lasers.
The second unit, or the deflector grid, contains a large circle of optical glass, a microwave unit and plasma intermixed with carbon dioxide.
The third unit contains eight plasma light rods, CO2 charges, industrial magnets, 108 mirrors, eight ionization cells industrial lights, and other components Hurtubise chooses to remain tight-lipped about.

Just a dream
Hurtubise said the Angel Light has cost $30,000 to build—he sold percentages of his other innovations to finance it—as well as 800 to 900 hours of his time.
He credits his subconscious with the idea.
“I had a dream about a year and a half ago as I do for most of my innovations, just a dream, and I saw it, saw the whole casing and everything, and I saw what it could do,” Hurtubise said.
“I had the same dream about that three times and by the third time I had it in my head and I started to build it.”

Through the wall
Troy dreamed the Angel Light would be able to see through walls with window-like efficiency, and then built it with no blueprints, drawings or schematics.
“I turned it on—that was well over a year ago—and it worked and it was really awesome.”
Hurtubise said he could see into the garage behind his lab wall, and read the licence plate on his wife's car and even see the salt on it.
"I almost broke my knuckles three or four times, because it was almost like you could step through the wall," Hurtubise said.
"You could be fooled into believing that you could actually walk through the wall and go touch the car."

Across the border
Hurtubise called his MIT contacts with news of what he’d done.
“They told me that I was playing with electromagnetism,” Hurtubise said.
The conversation ultimately led to the discovery of the Angel Light’s other startling properties.

Hurtubise said “somebody from MIT” shipped him an eight-inch by eight-inch piece of panelling from the latest Cobra helicopter, which was built using radar-resistant stealth technology.
“It’s amazing what you can get across the border on a Greyhound bus,” Hurtubise said.

Pick it up
Hurtubise was instructed to set up an outdoor track, which he did on First Nations land.
He attached the panel piece to a remote control car that went down the track.
Hurtubise then aimed the Angel Light at the panel and turned on a radar gun.
“I was able to pick it up the panel on the radar gun,” he said.

Stopped working
But a strange thing happened to the car, once it was hit by the Angel Light beam: it stopped working.
Hurtubise returned to his lab and began testing the Angel Light on other electronic items including portable radios, TVs and a microwave over.
“They all stopped working,” Hurtubise said.
He duly reported this to his MIT contacts.
"They said 'Troy, this is unbelievable.'"

To the ground
Hurtubise purchase a remote-control plane for $1,800 and took it and the Angel Light to a flying field on the way to Powassan.
He directed the Angel Light beam toward the sky and started the plane flying.
"On the first loop it came around, passed through the beam of light and fell right to the ground,” Hurtubise said.

Peeled it back
Hurtubise continued testing the light on other materials and discovered it could also see through other metals including steel, tin, titanium and, unlike Superman, lead.
As well the beam also penetrated ceramic and wood.
The Hurtubise put his hand in the light beam.
“I could see my blood vessels, muscles, everything, like I’d taken an Exacto knife, cut into my skin and peeled it back,” Hurtubise said.

Bad stuff
Soon after, Hurtubise discovered the Angel Light had devilish side-effects.
He lost feeling in the finger of the exposed hand and began suffering an overall malaise.
“MIT told me every time I turned it on there must have splash-back hitting me,” Hurtubise said.
A test on a tank of goldfish was even more disturbing.
“I turned the beam on it and within minutes all the goldfish died,” Hurtubise said.
“That’s when I realized there was a Hyde effect, as in Jekyll and Hyde, and I dismantled the whole thing.”

Walked on water
He didn’t reassemble it until the French called him after seeing a Discovery Channel program about the LIMBC.
Hurtubise believes the Hyde effect can be taken out, but by others who have far more expertise than him.
In the meantime Hurtubise believes that after 17 years inventing, his ship may finally have come in with France.
"My brother told me the only way I'd be able to sell any of my innovations is by walking on water," Hurtubise said.
"Well, I think I've just walked on water."

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Not so very long after the Ig Nobel event at the University of Tasmania, students there engaged in a nano-lecture competition. Wayne Goninon reports that "The idea was that students would describe their school in 7 words." Each of the winners received a copy of the book The Ig Nobel Prizes. Here are the winning nano-lectures:

AGRICULTURAL SCIENCE: We take cows and make 'em better
AQUACULTURE: Red fish, blue fish, breeding new fish
ARCHITECTURE: The unholy union of art and engineering
CHEMISTRY: Too much acid, explosives and stinky stuff
COMPUTING: Coffee and pizza make for happy coding
EARTH SCIENCES: Geology is not geography, you cretaceous cretin!
ENGINEERING: Bridges are good but beer is better
GEOGRAPHY & ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE: Geography is not geology, cabbage for brains!
MATHS & PHYSICS: Evaluating pi -- Galactic nuclei -- why oh why?
PLANT SCIENCE: It‚s okay officer, it‚s for scientific use
PSYCHOLOGY: It‚s all about getting a girlfriend, mate!
ZOOLOGY: We know who heads the food chain

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Canadian newspaper readers were treated to a luxuriant flowing photospread showing members of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS). It appeared in the January 13, 2005 issue of the National Post.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Furnham the productive STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 01/20/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Who is the most productive academic in the world? Adrian Furnham, maybe, a professor of psychology at University College London. He has seven nominal appendages, specifically: BA, MA, MSc, MSc (Econ), DPhil, DSc and DLitt. His CV is 55 pages long.

This is perhaps worth repeating: Professor Furnham's CV is 55 pages long...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

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The January issue of mini-AIR just went out.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Curiosities of Bio Nomencalture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/21/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

There are depths and shoals to explore in Mark Isaak's Curiosities of Biological Nomenclature. Investigator Isaak writes:

I would like to call your attention to two scientists whose contributions, perhaps, are worthy of recognition.

Leigh Van Valen has expanded the horizons of paleontology into Middle Earth by naming at least 21 paleocene mammals after characters from Tolkien, including Bomburia, Earendil, Fimbrethil ambaronae, and more. Tolkien has inspired other taxonomists, too, but none others to such an extent.

Neal L. Evenhuis excels at scientific names as an art form in themselves. He is perhaps best known for Phthiria relativitae; his other contributions include Carmenelectra shechisme, Meomyia, Villa manillae, Iyaiyai, Pieza pi, Pieza kake, Pieza rhea, and Pieza deresistans, and more. The other names contributed by these two people may be found amidst other taxonomic flotsam and jetsam here, here, and here.

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Murphy's Law covers all of time and space. It is newly demonstrated in this report from the Associated Press:

David Atkinson spent 18 years designing an experiment for the unmanned space mission to Saturn. Now some pieces of it are lost in space. Someone forgot to turn on the instrument Atkinson needed to measure the winds on Saturn's largest moon....

(Thanks to noted attorney William J. Maloney for bringing it to our attention.)

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Investigator Gary Hallock was inpired by our recent report about the report about the relative jumping abilities of dog and cat fleas. He produced an epic poem. Here it is:

FLEA'S A CROWD

The Lord, hard at work on "creation"
Distracted by itching sensation
Discovered that fleas
Were biting his knees
What's this? It's some sort of mutation

These fleas seemed intent on migration
In upwardly mobile invasion
He knew he'd soon find
Himself in a bind
With scratching and constant abrasion

So using his great 'magination
He fixed up the whole situation
Creating the cat
Solved problem like "that"
Now fleas have a preoccupation

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Good hair at Kokomo and ASU STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/24/2005 07:31:15 PM ----- BODY:

Two reptile ecological physiologists -- Michael Finkler and Emily Taylor -- have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.

Finkler is at Indiana University Kokomo. Taylor is at Arizona State University. Both institutions are (or soon will be) renowned for their abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Library shushing STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/25/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"Foul-Mouthed Patron Drops Lawsuit" is the headline in a recent report in the journal American Libraries. The report begins:

A patron who sued the Ann Arbor (Mich.) District Library after being banned for using obscene language has dropped his federal lawsuit. In a December 6 letter to U.S. District Judge George Caram Steeh, author Fredric Maxwell asked that his case be dismissed because he no longer lives in Ann Arbor, the Ann Arbor News reported December 8. Maxwell said he did not have the “time, resources, or inclination to continue returning from the California sun to the Michigan snow to be an unpaid change agent for a town where I used to live.”

Mr Maxwell is the author of the book Bad Boy Balmer, a copy of which is in the library.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Country Music/Suicide Lecture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 01/25/2005 02:32:13 PM ----- BODY:

James Gundlach, professor of sociology and co-winner of the 2004 Ig-Nobel Prize for Medicine, presents “Research Enters the Culture Wars: The Effects of Country Music and Abortion on Suicide” Wednesday, January 26 at noon in Foy Room 213 at Auburn University. (This news comes from a report in the January 20, 2005 issue of The Auburn Plainsman.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Good hair at the Ministry of Transportation STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/25/2005 04:49:12 PM ----- BODY:

Sharlie Huffman, P.Eng., the noted bridge seismic engineer, has joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.

Huffman is at the Ministry of Transportation, in Victoria, British Columbia. The institution is (or soon will be) renowned for its abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Boxing rats and cats (et al) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 01/26/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investgator Jessica Girard alerts us to the National Museum of Natural History's video of some boxing rats.

These boxing rats aren't boxing cats.
Nor are they fighting flies.
Nay, nay.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: School name-calling STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 01/27/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

In the quest for excellence, some schools craft their own, specially excellent slogan or motto. Ball State University, in Muncie, Indiana, has the motto: "Powerful Resources, Personal Learning, Everything You Need." This seven-word elegiac poem was born in an intensive research and development programme....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Boxing chickens, too STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/27/2005 11:21:54 AM ----- BODY:

Our mentions of boxing rats and cats and flies did not exhaust the list of ring-eligible contenders. There is a plan to equip chickens with boxing gloves. The Associated Press reports that Oklahoma state senator Frank Shurden is a strong supporter of the plan.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Inclement weatherman STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 01/28/2005 01:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

A student at Ohio University demonstrated that it's hard to predict the weather.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Good hair at the Universities of New Hampshire and of Hawaii STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/28/2005 03:08:41 PM ----- BODY:

Tim Deschaines, the noted chemistry professor, and Bob Kinzie, the noted marine biologist, have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.

Deschaines is at the University of New Hampshire. Kenzie is at the University of Hawaii. Their institutions are (or soon will be) renowned for their abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: A number of jokes of number STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 01/31/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Paul Renteln, Alan Dundes and the American Mathematical Society (AMS) have done either a service or a disservice to the mathematical community. Renteln and Dundes's compilation of old math jokes has been published in the Notices of the AMS, volume 52, no. 1.

(Thanks to Tom Roberts for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Big thinker STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 02/01/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Martine Rothblatt has it all: a big, bold simple solution to a hitherto-intractable Middle East political situation; a pioneering track record in high tech; a bold, sure-handed vision for biotechnological ethics; and a more-than-compelling personal story.

(Thanks to Mark Dionne for bringing this most unusual of entrepreneur/attorneys to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Good hair in Chattahoochee STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/02/2005 12:55:01 AM ----- BODY:

Robert S. Kline, III, Psy.D., the noted psychologist and death metal band singer, has joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.

Kline is at Florida State Hospital in Chattahoochee. The institution is (or soon will be) renowned for its abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Starbucks study STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/02/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

An article in the December 16, 2004 issue of the Philadelphia Inquirer reports that:

Bryant Simon, a professor at Temple, is writing a book on Starbucks’ effect on culture. His research will take him to Michigan, Madrid, Jerusalem and Georgia.

Professor Simon's research may be descended from that of Steve Penfold, whose Ph.D. dissertation on the sociology of Canadian donut shops won him an Ig Nobel Prize in 1999.

(Thanks to Nick Douglas for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Pay-per-view and autism STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/02/2005 11:38:47 AM ----- BODY:

Today's intriguing claim of the day appears in a Duke University press release:

Monkey "Pay-Per-View" Study Could Aid Understanding of Autism

The study itself is intriguing even without the autism link.

(Thanks to Bruce Williams for bringing it to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Requisitioning red tape STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/03/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

I asked people to place an order, through their normal supply channels, for a small quantity of red tape, and record the results. Here are some responses...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The war on luxuriant flowing hair STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/03/2005 12:39:10 PM ----- BODY:

Kai Jung is spreading the word to everyone who has, and/or admires, luxuriant flowing hair. Dr. Jung is an LFHCfS (Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists) man of the year. He writes:

Have you seen the BBC article on Korea's war on LFH? Even the most important German news magazine did an article on it.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Quitomzilla STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/04/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Quitomzilla is a web browser extension "that aims to help you quit cigarettes while you surf the web or wait for new emails." So says its inventor.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Heap of news in Bassingbourn STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/04/2005 09:48:06 AM ----- BODY:

The local newspaper The Cambridge News is a good source for anyone who follows the adventures of the fossilized dung memorial in the British town of Bassingbourn. The paper broke the story, noted the international reactions, and is keeping tabs on developments.

(Thanks to Sally Shelton for keeping us current on this matter.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Goat dressing STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/07/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Little research has been published on the subject of goat dressing [click on the link, then scroll down].

(Thanks to Genevieve Reynolds for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Microsoft scarfs down the European science community? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/07/2005 12:06:55 PM ----- BODY:

Microsoft has just acquired the entire European science community. So it appears, anyway.

Here is Microsoft's announcement:

[FEB 2, 2005]
At the Government Leaders Forum today, Microsoft Chairman and Chief Software Architect Bill Gates announced the EuroScience Initiative in his keynote to over 500 government leaders and public officials.

And here is a surprised reaction from the Euroscience organization:

[FEB 4, 2005]
The already existing Euroscience Association was created in 1997 and has more than 2100 individual and 31 institutional members. ... A number of very prominent European scientists and people interested in science are member of Euroscience. Among others is the former European Commissioner for Research, Philippe Busquin a number of Nobel laureates and former research ministers.

Euroscience president Jean Patrick Connerade says:
"If Mr Gates wants to help us by injecting millions of dollars into Euroscience, then that is wonderful, but I am surprised: as the elected President of Euroscience, I was not consulted before Mr Gates made his speech to the Government Leaders' Forum in Prague. I would like to understand better what his plans really are. I am sure Microsoft would never steal the name of an European Association of scientists to further its activities..."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Association of Dead People video STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 02/08/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Video of 2003 Ig Nobel Peace Prize winner Lal Bihari, the founder of the Association of Dead People, is now online, thanks to an organization called Snoop Video News.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Egrets: I’ve Had a Few STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/09/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

“Promiscuity in the Cattle Egret (Bubulcus ibis),” is one of the featured citations in the most recent "Boys Will be Boys" column. N.G. McKilligan's egret-filled research report was published in the journal The Auk, vol. 107, no. 2, April 1990, pp. 334-41.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Preserving the Hirst shark STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/09/2005 02:56:23 PM ----- BODY:

A report in The Art Newspaper explains that:

Damien Hirst’s shark floating in a tank of formaldehyde, recently sold for $12 million to US billionaire hedge fund manager Steve Cohen, is disintegrating and will need extensive conservation work to prevent it from further deterioration. This is the view of conservation scientists and natural history specialists who say that the bigger a specimen, the more difficult it is to preserve long-term in formaldehyde...

Investigator Judith Price raises a further small point: "They think it's complicated trying to keep it? Iconic status, indeed! Just wait till they try to dispose of the mess."

(Thanks to Judith Price and Sally Shelton for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The perfect cuppa STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/10/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

What is the proper way to make a cup of tea? The question has many answers, but only one of them is the official British standard...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: February mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 02/10/2005 01:40:14 PM ----- BODY:

The February issue of mini-AIR just went out.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Good hair at Worcester Polytechnic and UBC STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/10/2005 03:56:04 PM ----- BODY:

Melissa Towler, the noted biolochemist/engineer, competitive ballroom dancer, and Scottish Fold fancier, has joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. And so has Chris Keeler, the noted chemist and orchid fancier.

Towler is at Worcester Polytechnic Institute in Massachusetts. Keeler is at the University of British Columbia. These institution are (or soon will be) renowned for their abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Further hair cruise news STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/10/2005 07:20:12 PM ----- BODY:

At least one person is excited at the prospect of a cruise for members of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS). A few months ago the LFHCfS received an invitation to plan an exciting group cruise. Today a message arrived in response to the sending of that first message. Here it is:

Hi,

I wanted to make sure you got this email I previously sent and to see if you are interested in putting together a group cruise for your organization as I explained below [in the message I sent on October 29, 2004]. I hope to hear from you,

regards,

Todd Satterlee
Business Development Manager
Carnival Cruise Lines
Western, Central, & Northern Massachusetts
Albany Capital Region
tsatterlee@carnival.com
800-327-7276 cclsales@carnival.com

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The complexity zoo STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/11/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

For those who enjoy mathematics as a spectator pastime, there is the Complexity Zoo.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Trash that smarts STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/12/2005 12:42:36 PM ----- BODY:

A report in the February 11, 2005 issue of The Guardian tells of the agonizing delemma of smart trash:

Residents of Croydon, south London, have been told that the microchips being inserted into their new wheely bins may well be adapted so that the council can judge whether they are producing too much rubbish. If the technology suggests that they are, errant residents may be visited by officials bearing advice on how they might "manage their rubbish more effectively".

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Understanding America STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 02/13/2005 03:22:06 PM ----- BODY:

Here is another student essay suggestion from our Improbable Social Science Project. The short film "Queen of the House" encapsulates, one way and another, everything a student needs to begin understanding the world's most proudly peculiar country, the United States of America. A teacher would do well to ask students virtually any question about how this film elucidates American culture, politics, and history then (the year 1965, when it was made) and now.

(We are grateful to the Scopitones web site for making this film available for study. Students may also want to read the words to "Queen of the House." They were written by Roger Miller and Mary Taylor. The main performer is Jody Miller.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: William Cane, kissing expert STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 02/14/2005 12:55:00 AM ----- BODY:

Today, Valentine's Day, is as good a time as any to consider the merits of William Cane, the self-confessed kissing expert, and his multimedia presentation on ocsculation.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Beaver snails STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/14/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Beaver snails can be delightful.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Unidentified high-flying lab STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/14/2005 03:35:37 PM ----- BODY:

A report in the February 13, 2005 issue of India Daily brings startling news:

Invisible tiny UFO caught on chemical-imaging camera
Staff Reporter
Feb. 13, 2005

In India’s one of the premiere research and development laboratories... According to sources, while analyzing data the scientists came across something very strange and bizarre. A set of photos showed a tiny miniature Unidentified Flying Object. The IR camera failed to capture the same because apparently the UFO was using frictionless traction with anti-gravity lifting mechanisms. But the chemical-imaging camera picked it up. According to some of these scientists, the group is now investigating if invisible UFOs are all around us.

The news is startling because it carries the modern hallmark of authenticity. The premiere research and development lab is not identified and neither is the reporter.

In recent years, this has become a way in which certain government officials (in several countries) disseminate information that they decide is of great public importance. The reasoning behind this is quite solidified. Releasing such details might (1) put key government personnel at risk in some way; and (2) confuse the public understanding by introducing more facts than people are able to digest in an appropriate way.

(Thanks to Tim Spellman for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Accenture techno-intelligence satire STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/14/2005 11:04:36 PM ----- BODY:

Accenture Technology Labs has produced a wonderful satire that every experienced computer programmer can savor. The satire is about how simple it will be for the company to combine lots of advanced technology into a device that makes intuitive, everyday kinds of decisions. The satire is in two parts, written and video. The text begins:

Supplementing the Human Memory Bank
Using a speech recognition engine, two small microphones, an inconspicuous camera and a scrolling audio buffer, the Personal Awareness Assistant is always on, passively listening to what a user says. What catapults the Assistant past a simple recording device is its ability to respond to particular contexts and situations....

The text is accompanied by a nifty, brief, deadpan video about a prototype "Personal Awareness Assistant."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Old British toilet paper complaint STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/15/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Historical research sometimes brings up that which was once cast down a dark hole, such as the British civil service's 1963 inquiry into toilet paper quality, and the complaint that triggered the investigation. A report in the January 4, 2005 issue of The Daily Telegraph seems to have unfurled this once tightly-wrapped secret. The report includes a possibly-incriminating photograph.

(Thanks to investigator Charles Bergquist for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The caring plant STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/15/2005 02:11:00 PM ----- BODY:

Investigator P.J. Wichsand alerts us to another deadpan techno-satire from the good folks at Accenture Technology Lab. This one is called "The Caring Plant." The official Accenture Labs description says:

The plant can even look after itself with requests around its own needs—“More water please” or “I need sun!” Through the use of artificial intelligence, the plant just gets smarter. Feel like reminiscing? The plant can prompt memories or repeat previous stories.

As with the Personal Awareness Assistant, which we profiled a day or two ago, "The Caring Plant" is an exercise in subtly leaping logic. It is another concoction meant to delight experienced computer programmers, who can always use a little relief from the tedium of their necessarily-painstaking work. Non-programmers may not see all the subtleties, but almost everyone can appreciate the broad, slapstick outlines of the humor.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Poly comparisons STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 02/16/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Machiel Stolk writes:

You probably have heard about the following article "The Polymeal: a more natural, safer, and probably tastier (than the Polypill) strategy to reduce cardiovascular disease by more than 75%" by Oscar H Franco, Luc Bonneux, Chris de Laet, Anna Peeters, Ewout W Steyerberg, and Johan P Mackenbach, BMJ, 2004; 329: 1447-1450.

Browsing through the readers' responses I noticed that some readers take the article seriously and others don't. One reader in particular suggests that "In most Internet forums, everyone would have recognized this article as a cheerful tongue-in-cheek piece worthy of the Annals of Improbable Research." My question is, is AIR worried about the sudden competition from the BMJ?

Yours sincerely
Machiel Stolk
Centre for Science and Math Education
Utrecht University
The Netherlands

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: On the beach STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/17/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Some 30 years ago, beachgoers in three countries found that strangers were coming up to them, asking strange questions. The strangers turned out to be fairly harmless. They were academics, driven by a fierce desire to understand how much space people appropriate for themselves when they plop down on a beach....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Improbable Research show Friday in DC STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/17/2005 03:07:00 AM ----- BODY:

If you are in or near Washington, DC this Friday night (Feb 18, 2005), come to the free Improbable Research show at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel. This is our annual show that's part of the AAAS's big meeting. Bring family and friends. You'll get to meet THREE living Ig Nobel Prize winners. And see a performance -- by Afro Blue -- of the Atkins Diet Opera. Things start at 8:00 PM.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Music experiments STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 02/18/2005 07:10:00 PM ----- BODY:

Many experiments come to mind when one listens to the singing of experimental singers such as Florence Foster Jenkins.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: How to fix a biologist STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/21/2005 07:14:00 PM ----- BODY:

Do you, a biologist, feel intimidated by how complex everything is? Try reading Yuri Lazebnik's essay " Can a biologist fix a radio? --Or, what I learned while studying apoptosis," which was originally published in the journal Cancer Cell (vol. 2, no. 3, September 2002, pp. 179-82).

(Thanks to Karen Hopkin for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The author's heavy hand STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 02/22/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

According a Canadian press report:

Margaret Atwood, author of futuristic fantasies The Handmaid's Tale and Oryx and Crake, has invented a prototype remote autographing device that has the potential to revolutionize book signings.

(Thanks to investigator Genevieve Reynolds for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: A useful supplier? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/22/2005 01:49:04 PM ----- BODY:

Look at this uranium web site, suggested investigator John Bell, and check out the photo at the bottom of the page. We followed his suggestion.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Calling all performing British tea/coffee-brewing scientists STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 02/22/2005 10:49:35 PM ----- BODY:

If you are (A) a scientist who (B) follows a good ritual for preparing either tea or coffee and you (C) are in Britain or (D) will be in Britain during the Ig Nobel Tour of the UK during March, and (E) you would enjoy BRIEFLY demonstrating that ritual onstage at one of the shows in the tour, then please email us ASAP (and please include the phrase "PROJECT CUPPA" in your email subject header).

Details of the Ig tour are at http://education.guardian.co.uk/conferences/story/0,14077,1410884,00.html

Ps. If you are (F) a friend of somebody who fulfills conditions A-E inclusive, please pass this message on to that person.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bureaucratic toadying STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 02/23/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Robert Bendesky writes:

An editorial in the Winter 2004 Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons reports that a toad provided more correct responses to Medicare policy questions than Medicare customer service representatives.

A 2004 GAO study found that 96 percent of the time, customer reps gave the wrong answer to physicians asking how to bill Medicare. In response, Journal editor Lawrence Huntoon MD, PhD asked a toad a series of Medicare questions. A left jump meant a yes answer, a right jump meant no.

The toad scored 50 percent.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Other Einsteins STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 02/24/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

People say "There is only one Einstein", but of course that is not so. In this, the official Einstein Year, when everyone celebrates Albert Einstein, let us not forget some of the other Einsteins...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Pop-Tart Forensics STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/25/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"Engineer Ruled Expert Witness in Flaming Pop-Tart Case" reads the headline. It is an accurate description of what the news report reports.

(Thanks to Mark Waldstein and other investigators for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Gefingerpoken STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 02/28/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A new computer peripheral device, manufactured by Uni-Creation Electronic (Xi'an) Co.,Ltd., is claimed to be easy on the eyes.

(Thanks to Peter Langston for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hidden sexuality of the yawn STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 03/01/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Wolter Seuntjens recently (sucessfully!) defended his Ph.D. thesis. He has now published a specially edited version of it: "The Hidden Sexuality of the Human
Yawn" in the special Yawning Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: March mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 03/01/2005 10:22:58 AM ----- BODY:

The March issue of mini-AIR just went out.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Don't look, don't tell STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/01/2005 10:28:55 AM ----- BODY:

Many scientists are confused. We have a remedy for them.

At a recent science meeting in Washington, DC, we encountered many scientists, from the United States and elsewhere, who said they were confused and troubled. "What," most everyone was asking, "has happened to the US government's policy about science?"

The question has a happy answer. The US now, at long last, has a coherent, simple science policy. You can state it in four words:

Don't Look, Don't Tell

This is a practical policy, because scientists are a pain in the neck. They often insist on digging for "the real story" of how something works. Told about a plan to build or do something, they try to "figure out" -- in advance -- how well that plan is going to work.

Political leaders -- the modern, superior ones -- have learned to trust their gut feelings. That's what brought them their success. They know that, in the long run, problems always manage to work themselves out one way or another. Scientists, who often nervously distrust their own gut instinct, can learn from the logic of their superiors.

The new policy -- Don't Look, Don't Tell -- is a lesson for all of us. Please spread the word.

[This passage is from the March 2005 issue of mini-AIR.]

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Gently falleth STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/02/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Some say "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." We, given the news (and the video clip) from Berkeley and from the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, say "The ant doesn't fall far from the tree."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Karaoke relief STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/03/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A scientific experiment may look like torture and sound like torture, yet still be free of legal ramifications. At the University of Hong Kong, Edwin ML Yiu and Rainy MM Chan did an experiment that smacks of torture for the participants, the experimenters, and anyone within earshot. Their published report has a title that evokes wretchedness: "Effect of Hydration and Vocal Rest on the Vocal Fatigue in Amateur Karaoke Singers." The experiment brought several hours of continuous, mounting, discomfort to a group of volunteers. ...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: All about "Dude" STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/04/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The "Soft Is Hard" column in the special Yawning Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research tells all about, or at least a little about, a recent research report entitled "Dude." The column presents other examples, too, of why the "soft" sciences are the hardest to do.

And right next to the "Soft Is Hard" column is the "Socially Scientific" column, which presents notes on the intriguing behavior or human beings. One of the notes this time tells a great and either-tterrible-or-wonderful secret about tipping.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The exceptional switcheroo STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/05/2005 10:35:31 AM ----- BODY:

The case of the switched Mars rover alpha-particle X-ray spectrometers may exceptional. That is, it may be a rare exception to a general rule of thumb. Maybe. The rule is that it's not a good sign when a news report contains a sentence like this:

Squyres is "not embarrassed at all" about the slip-up with the rovers.

(Thanks to Mark Dionne for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Prohibitions at Palm Cove Beach STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Projects DATE: 03/07/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A prodigiously prohibitive sign at Palm Cove Beach, in North Queensland, Australia, has just been added to the Prohibititions Competition.

(Thanks to Nicole Bordes for sending it in.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Good hair at Penn State STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/07/2005 10:56:38 PM ----- BODY:

Gretchen Holtzer, Mary Parent, Priti Pharkya and Aron Parekh, the noted chemical engineers, have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.

The Magnificent Four are at Penn State University. The institution are (or soon will be) renowned for their abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Why did the chicken machine.... STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/08/2005 12:50:00 AM ----- BODY:

"LIFE JUST GOT EASIER!" is the claim from BrightCoop company, manufacturer of the E-Z Catch chicken harvester machine. They illustrate their thinking with a video of the device in action. (For technical details, see the patent for it -- U.S. patent number 6,612,918.)

This incomparable machine can ALMOST be likened to the SSI shredding machine, whose manufacturer has produced videos of it shredding a couch, a boat, a washing machine, and many, many other substantial objects. SSI proclaims itself to be "the company that shreds torpedoes."

(Thanks to Boing-Boing for bringing these to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Dine with an Ig winner? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 03/08/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

It sounds too magical to be true (and who knows, maybe it will turn out to be just a scam?), but for fans of 1995 Ig Nobel Economics Prize co-winner Nick Leeson, the prospect is exciting. According to an advertisement by an organization called SupperWithTheStars, you can rent a meal with him.

Leeson, of course, won his Ig for "using the calculus of derivatives to demonstrate that every financial institution has its limits." In his case, the Institution was the now-defunct Barings Bank.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The book of weird experiments STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/09/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Reto Schneider's book of weird experiments is weirdly sublime. Schneider's web site (www.weirdexperiments.com is the English-language version / www.verrueckte-experimente.de is the German-language version) gives generous excerpts. It also has some of the most gripping science video clips in existence. Among them are:

- the first meeting of a robot dog and real dog
- the living dog's head
- an uncommon form of common cold research

This first edition of the book is published in German. Would that there is a book publisher who will delight English-speaking scientists by bringing out an English-Language edition.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Stir crazy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/10/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Some people collect birds' eggs, some collect stamps, some the scalps of their enemies. I collect scientists' best rituals for preparing tea or coffee. Under the rubric Project Cuppa, this endeavour is only two months old. Yet already it is revealing wonders....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The falling cat experiment STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/10/2005 01:20:00 AM ----- BODY:

In discussing Reto Schneider's book of weird experiments, we forgot to mention that Schneider's site includes a histrical video snippet of the falling cats experiment.

That experiment, of course, has a later echo in a certain article that appeared in (and on the cover of) the July/August 1998 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Sausage carpets STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/11/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

This year there were sausage rugs at the Cologne Furniture Fair. The sausage rugs are in several patterns: Salami, Bierschinken, Mortadella und Blutwurst. (MINOR NOTE: Philosophers may dispute that a rug is the same thing as a carpet. They are welcome to get in touch with the manufacturer and discuss that question.)

(Thanks to Chris Leadbeater for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Why rats can't vomit STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/14/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Why rats can't vomit. There are reasons why.

(Thanks to Karen Hopkin for bringing this to our attention. Investigator Hopkin comments that "Interestingly, the table suggests that horses have the ability to vomit, but do so 'rarely, if ever.' That I didn't know.")

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Fainting goats, teachers, et al. STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/15/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Some researchers revere fainting goats. Certain cineastes savor video clips of fainting goats. Thoughtful teachers take to them, too.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Feynman ice cream STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/16/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

There is, or at least was briefly, an ice cream flavor created in honor of physicist Richard Feynman. Devised by Toscanini's Ice Cream, it was inspired by the story that earlier inspired the name of the classic book Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Strategic Jesus STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/17/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A whole new side of Jesus is cropping up in the field of decision science. A new generation of scholars is taking Jesus to their collective theoretic, strategic bosom. Two recent studies stand out....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bush/Rumsfeld vs. the cetaceans STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 03/18/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Certain persons' opinions count more than others in the matter of George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld versus the neighbors. The October 20, 2004 court opinion is a matter of record. In summary, the judges' opinion is stark and simple: "We conclude that the Cetaceans do not have statutory standing to sue." To put this in other terms: Some get to stand, others are left to sink or swim.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hanson's hand-made heads STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 03/21/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

David Hanson builds heads the new-fashioned way.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Fraudulent fly STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/22/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Sally Shelton alerted us to the case of the fraudulent fly, and the significant role played therein by Dr. Andrew Ross, Curator of Fossil Arthropods at The Natural History Museum in London.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The adventures of Hideto Tomabechi STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 03/23/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Hideto Tomabechi -- who first made headlines in Japan almost a decade ago after he cured brainwashed members of the AUM Shinrikyo doomsday cult that unleashed deadly sarin gas on the Tokyo subway system -- claims to have developed a tune for ring tones that promises to increase the breast measurements of those who listen to it.

So says a report in the September 24, 2004 issue of the Mainichi Daily News. Dr. Tomabechi is a much-published researcher of some note.

(Thank you to Genevieve Reynolds for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig Nobel UK Diary STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/24/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"I have a present for you. Here, you see?" Pek Van Andel, swathed in an overcoat, trailing a wheeled, rumpled suitcase, and buzzing with Lieutenant Columbo impishness, held out two rod-like things. ...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Suicide -- a Poisson process? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/25/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Elaine Chew and Philip Greenspun's research report "Is Suicide at MIT a Poisson Process?" is sobering, yet mathematically-based.

It is perhaps important to remind people that there is nothing intrinsically sad about the Poisson process. Some -- Singfat Chu of the National University of Singapore, for one -- even find it sportingly inspirational.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The hair of Rebecca Slayton et al. STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/26/2005 03:31:11 AM ----- BODY:

Rebecca Slayton, Darius Widera, Rebecca Daw, Ralph Bernstein adn kathleen Fix have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hopped up about subtle hope STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/28/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Do you enjoy research that is all about hopes and dreams? Then do you not owe yourself a look at The International Society for the Study of Subtle Energies and Energy Medicine?

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The hair of Harald Hammarström STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/28/2005 02:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Harald Hammarström of Chalmers University of Technology has joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: What's up with Max Gerson? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/29/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A 1978 article by the late Max Gerson still makes people sit up in wonder. It was published – a remarkable 19 years after his death – in the journal Physiological Chemistry and Physics. Gerson perfected the chemico-physiological theory and practice of the coffee enema. By his theory, cancer is caused by poisons accumulating in the body. Thanks to Gerson, we are assured that coffee enemas can extract those poisons, thus curing cancer. And thanks in no small part to the enematic Prince Charles, Gerson’s views on poisons continue to insert themselves into the public discourse and elsewhere.

This stirring passage can be found amidships in our February 2005 column (the first in an occasional series) in Chemistry World.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bird upon bird... STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/29/2005 02:10:00 AM ----- BODY:

Kees Moeliker's Ig Nobel Prize-winning report about a case of homosexual necrophilia in a Dutch mallard duck has had ramifications.

Moeliker took part in the recent Ig Nobel Tour of the UK, which inspired the indefatigable journalist Donald MacLeod to (1) write a newspaper article that drew so much reader response that it crashed his newspaper's web server; and then (2) unearth a much earlier -- and little-known -- account of equally shocking behavior by a British feral rock dove. MacLeod daringly published a report that brought the news to an eager public.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Beatle Wing Music STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/29/2005 09:46:34 AM ----- BODY:

Musicologists have a delicious new stew of data to devour. A singer named Wing has moved from Hong Kong to New Zealand, where she has been laboring to adapt a traditional form of song called "Beatles music." One song -- "I Want to Hold Your Hand" -- may be of special interest to analysts.

(Thanks to Steve Beeber for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Thinking big and Earthy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/30/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

In some circles, most of them fictional, people talk about how easy it would be to destroy the Earth. Sam Hughes, a mathematics student at Cambridge University, has done more than talk about it. In the noblest tradition of his profession, he has thought about it.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Pepper's yawning mistake STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/30/2005 02:10:00 AM ----- BODY:

Relationships expert Dr.Pepper Schwartz, encountering the question "Last night I actually yawned in the middle of sex with my husband," replied with sub-optimal advice. Perhaps someone will point her to the definitive source of info on the subject: Wolter Seuntjens's Ph.D thesis On Yawning or the hidden sexuality of the human yawn.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hair of Pavlovic, hair of Dean STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/30/2005 05:43:28 PM ----- BODY:

Mato Pavlovic of the Federal Institute for Materials Research and Testing (BAM) in Berlin and Michael Dean of the University of Delaware have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: History of the universe in 60 seconds STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/30/2005 06:02:02 PM ----- BODY:

A video of Eric Schulman's brilliant 60-second-long History of the Universe is now up on the National Science Foundation's web site. It shows Dr. Schulman performing what was originally a 200-word written piece that appeared in the Jan/Feb 1997 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Dr. Schulman first performed it at the 1997 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, where a book publisher saw him and offered him a contract to expand it to book length. Dr. Schulman rose to the challenge, resulting in the now-classic A Briefer History of Time. Dr. Schulman's original 200-word piece, by the way, has now been translated into more than 30 languages.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: To want and want not STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 03/31/2005 12:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Jim Cowdery writes:

Just in case you don't already know about this: Komar & Melamid's questionnaire project about desirable art was well-publicized, but I just discovered their similar project about desireable music, which resulted in a CD.

"The most wanted song" is five minutes long and comprises a medium-sized group (guitar, piano, saxophone, bass, drums, violin, violoncello, synthesizer, and low male and female voices) performing in a rock/R&B style. It narrates a love story, and has a moderate tempo, volume, and pitch range. It will be enjoyed by approximately 72% of listeners. "The most unwanted song" is 22 minutes long, and features accordion and bagpipe (tied at 13% as the most unwanted instrument) along with banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, and synthesizer (the only instrument to appear in both ensembles). It involves an operatic soprano rapping and singing atonal music; advertising jingles, political slogans, and elevator music; a children's choir singing jingles and holiday songs; and dramatic juxtapositions of loud and quiet sections, fast and slow tempos, and very high and low pitches. Fewer than 200 individuals in the entire world will enjoy it.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Reefer madness STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 03/31/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Lock three men in a room, make them smoke cannabis, and then try to provoke them into being hostile. Thirty years ago a team of American doctors actually conducted this daring experiment....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: April mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 03/31/2005 11:09:35 AM ----- BODY:

The April issue of mini-AIR just went out. It includes news about a sea monster discovery (a study to be published this month reveals something unexpected about the history of sea monster sightings.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Effects of dandruff on climate STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 03/31/2005 02:02:00 PM ----- BODY:

"Could dandruff be altering the world’s climate?" That is the provocatively-worded question used to begin a news report that is almost as interesting as its beginning, The article, in New Scientist magazine, is about new research on what's floating around in the atmosphere.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Shoes and disease STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/01/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"The Centers for Disease Control report on tobacco smoking compares statistics of lung cancer to cigarette consumption amongst various regions and countries around the world, but like the American Lung Association, they say nothing about the stronger correlation with shoes."

So writes James P. Semmel of Albuquerque, New Mexico in his lengthy essay about shoes as the cause of much disease. Having read our report about the Flensmark Hypothesis that heeled shoes may have provoked the pandemic of schizophrenia, Mr. Semmel sent us a note, in which he says:

I am a 34-year-old electrical engineer who has taken a sabbatical to investigate the biomechanical effects of shoes on human degenerative diseases. My research reveals unifying statistical, historical, and physical evidence of such a connection, but more importantly, it has produced a potential treatment. ... Chiropodist Dr. Simon J. Wikler pioneered efforts to understand the influences of shoes in the 1950's, yet his work was neglected during the subsequent drug-and-diet-based approaches to medicine.

[NOTE: The March/April 2005 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research contains a research article that explores one implication of the Flensmark Hypothesis -- the relationship between schizophrenia and stiletto heels.]

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Great British explorers (chapter 106) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/02/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator David McA. McKirdy writes:

I would like to bring to your attention John Gillatt of Bolton, Manchester, England. He recently hit the headlines in the UK after getting lost in the Malaysian rain forest for 5 days without a map or compass, or any other basic survival material. To cap it all he said that "he did not realise there were leopards in the jungle, poisonous snakes and tarantulas." Not bad for someone describes as an "English biologist".

The intrepid Mr. Bolton is profiled in the The Times, The Guardian, The Telegraph, and elsewhere, including his own web site.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Sea monsters exposed STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/03/2005 07:21:20 PM ----- BODY:

Here's a pointer to the Archives of Natural History, where the sea serpent paper by 2002 Ig Nobel Prize winner Charles Paxton, Sharon Hedley and Erik Knatterud is scheduled to be published this week. (Knatterud is, among other things, the keeper of the Database of Norwegian Sea Serpents and Paxton of the history-packed Aquatic Sea Monsters web site.) Several readers asked for details after we mentioned it in mini-AIR. To recapitulate, the study is:

"Cetaceans, Sex and Sea Serpents: An Analysis of the Egede Accounts of a 'Most Dreadful Monster' Seen Off the Coast of Greenland in 1734," C.G.M. Paxton, E. Knatterud and S.L. Hedley, Archives of Natural History, vol. 32, no. 1, 2005, pp. 1-9. The authors report that:

[T]here is an alternative explanation for the [reported sighting of a] serpent-like tail. Many of the large baleen whales have long, snake-like penises. If the animal did indeed fall on its back then its ventral surface would have been uppermost and, if the whale was aroused, the usually retracted penis would have been visible. The penises of the North Atlantic right whale and (Pacific) grey whale can be at least 1.8 metres long, and 1.7 metres long respectively, and could be taken by a naive witness for a tail.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Great British analysis STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/04/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Mathematics student Sam Hughes, whose global thinking was mentioned here a few days ago, has also produced a venn diagram that explains everything -- and yet, somehow, hardly anything -- about Great Britain.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hair of Olga, hair of Eric STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/04/2005 11:17:05 AM ----- BODY:

Olga Kubassova of the University of Leeds and Eric Walters of the newly renamed Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine and Science have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The lost theorems of Kakutani STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/05/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Mathematician Stanley Eigen (yes, that is his real name) wrote a beautiful, brief tribute to his late colleague, the legendary Shizuo Kakutani. Called "The Lost Theorems of Kakutani," it appears in the March/April 2005 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Nimoyan salsa consumption psych site STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/05/2005 03:42:47 PM ----- BODY:

Today's random psychological test of the day is the Leonard Nimoy Should Eat More Salsa Foundation (LNSEMSF).

(Thanks to Terri Fackler for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Reading for Pleasure: Totality of semiosphere STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/06/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

This week's selection in our READING FOR PLEASURE series is "Totality of Semiosphere," by Sergey V. Chebanov.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Yawn STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 04/07/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Yawning sometimes occurs in school, where it can be of great appeal to the experimentalist. A yawn is rather alluring. It invites anyone - anyone of a certain sensibility, that is - to try teasing out its secrets. Joseph E Moore of the Jesup Psychological Laboratory at George Peabody College in Nashville, Tennessee was a pioneer in this....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The press of smelly cheese STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/08/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Dr. Stephen White of Cranfield University led a study to ascertain which is the world's smelliest cheese. So says a press release issued not so long ago. Those who are so inclined can download a zip file of images pertaining to this disturbingly delightful concept.

(Thanks to Mark Waldstein for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Hair of Ionescu STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/08/2005 01:17:25 PM ----- BODY:

Paul Ionescu of the University of Florence and his multitudinous curls of hair have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Longenecker, Newby join LFHCfS STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/10/2005 06:34:34 PM ----- BODY:

Possibly with the tacit approval or disapproval of a distinguished colleague, Dr. Ken Longenecker of the Bishop Museum in Honolulu, Hawaii, has joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

So, too, has Josh Newby, the perhaps-soon-to-be-famous graduate student in physical chemistry at Purdue University.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Universidad de Moron STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 04/11/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator J.L. Rincon writes:

Having lived most of my life in Argentina, but spent much of the past five years in North America and Europe, I will have you know that no great educational institution suffers more -- and more unjustly! -- from its name than the Universidad de Moron. From afar, though, I must admit that I now understand why this happens. As an Argentinian, I sigh. But as a citizen of the world, I chuckle.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Puzzling solutions STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/12/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

We at the Annals of Improbable Research have a large collection of puzzle solutions to which we have lost the puzzles. There seemed no reason not to publish them. The first organized collection appears in the March/April 2005 issue of the magazine.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Nuclear pullet surprise STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/13/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

British Military Planned Chicken-Powered Nuke
A once secret plan to build a nuclear landmine 'run' by live chickens has gone on public display for the first time at The National Archives, Kew, as part of the acclaimed Secret State Exhibition.

Conceived during the Cold War, the seven tonne device was the size of small truck and was designed to be buried or submerged by a British Army retreating from Soviet forces. The landmine had a plutonium core surrounded by high explosive and would have been detonated by remote control or timer, causing mass destruction and contamination over a wide area to prevent subsequent enemy occupation.

Scientists working on the project realised that the bomb could fail in winter if vital components become too cold, so they explored ways of keeping the inner workings warm. One proposal put forward consisted of filling the casing of the nuke with live chickens, who would give off sufficient heat, prior to suffocating or starving to death, to keep the delicate explosive mechanism from freezing. Despite the potential importance of chickens to the project, the mine was codenamed 'Blue Peacock'.

So says a press release issued last year by the British National Archives

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The power of a Big Band STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/13/2005 11:29:24 AM ----- BODY:

"Before the Big Band, there was no space or time."

So says what we presume, or at least hope, is a typo. It appears in a curious press release issued by the University of Helsinki. The press release is curious in that it's not clear why the university decided to write or issue it.

ADDENDA: (1) That press release directs anyone seeking more information to go to the web site of Kari Engqvist. (2) After this item appeared, we heard from Bob O'Hara of the Department of Mathematics and Statistics at the University of Helsinki. He wrote:

I went to a Christmas party in the physics building in the University of Helsinki last year. As I recall, there was no big band. There was, however karaoke.

Bob

P.S. Perhaps we should forgive Prof. Enqvist. He works in a building called Physicum. I work next door, in a building called Exactum. This means, I think, that they are assumed to work with a certain amount of imprecision.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Readable little numbers STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 04/14/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

People who love numbers -- truly love them -- needn't hesitate when asked the question: "What is your favourite book?" There is only one possible answer: A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates, published by the Rand Corporation in 1955...

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

[And a further note. The Rand Corporation has put a PDF version of the book onto its web site. Thanks to Dan Valente for bringing this to our attention.]

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Boys will be boys STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/15/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The "Boys Will Be Boys" column in the March/April 2005 issue of the magazine presents another health collection of research by and for adolescent males of all ages. One of the highlights this time is a splendid whopping new survey of colorectal foreign objects that appeared, more or less serendipitously, in a hospital in South Africa.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Vapidity inspires a poem STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/18/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Inspired by our quest to identify the author of the wonderfully vapid advertising slogan "Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible," investigator Dave "Maddog" Maddox discovered that the phrase inspired a poet to give birth to a poem that begins:

The rain in Spain is bound to contain
Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane...

Our romantic quest was announced in mini-AIR 2005-02. We remain hopeful it will lead to success.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Asymmetry in man and sculpture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/19/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A new project brings echoes of Chris McManus's Ig Nobel Prize-winning report "Scrotal Asymmetry in Man and Ancient Sculpture."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: How do individuals react to psychedelics? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/20/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

How do individuals react to psychedelics? And how does one probe receptor space with psychedelics? A conference last year in Phoenix, Arizona attempted to bring together answers to these questions.

(Thanks to Bob Frenay for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Simple truth about politicians STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 04/21/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

At election time, it occurs to voters that certain candidates are, to put it simply, simple. For most candidates and their staff, this is the desired payoff for years of hard work. A study that appeared in 1997 in the journal Nature explains why....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The doctor who knows everything STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/22/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The doctor who knows everything is William Campbell Douglas, or so one might infer. Among his qualifications: (1) For a full year, he endured economic and physical hardship; and (2) He is the author of five books.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Frick, Hull, Caldwell hair STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/22/2005 04:24:42 PM ----- BODY:

Klaus Frick of the University of Innsbruck and Duncan Hull of the University of Manchester and Michael Caldwell of the University of Alberta have delighted an uncountable number of residents of several continents -- they have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Unsuited, unbearable? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/23/2005 10:01:58 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Rob Sanders sends bear news. He writes: "Obviously, Mr. Scott MacInnes hasn't been keeping up with the Igs over the years. Look at this April 22, 2005 new report from Reuters:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Scott MacInnes set an Alaskan record this week, although not one contenders would seek to break. State officials say the 51-year-old biologist is the first person known to have survived two bear attacks. MacInnes, a 51-year-old biologist, was mauled during his early morning jog on Monday when he met up with a brown bear and one or two cubs near his home in the Kenai Peninsula town of Soldotna. He had been mauled 38 years earlier on a well-used hiking trail in the Chugach National Forest, according to a government biologist....

"Does anyone want to connect Mr. MacInnes with Troy Hurtubise [who won a 1998 Ig Nobel Prize for building and personally testing a suit of armor meant to be impervious to grizzly bears, and who has since continued his altruistic engineering adventures]?"

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The scientific publications of James Bond STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/25/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The scientific publications of James Bond are not as widely read as the publications ABOUT James Bond. The man himself is greatly missed: it was said of him that

The nidification of birds was one of his most compelling interests, after Caribbean zoogeography, which explains his admiration for Skutch.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The man who knows better STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 04/26/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Carlos E. Figueroa Castro writes:

I would like to make you aware of Mr. Fernando Vallejo, a Colombian writer. Two of his most recent books are La tautología de Darwin (Darwin's tautology) and Manualito de imposturología física (Little manual of physical imposturology"). Mr.Vallejo was able to prove, in less than two years, that Charles Darwin, James Clerk Maxwell, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein were wrong, among others. Some of his other achievements:

1. The description of the "Aquino", a unit used to measure the level of imposture (derived from the work of Saint Thomas d' Aquin). Example: Einstein: 280 "Aquinos", Maxwell: 180.
2. The Einstein's formula E=mc2 is wrong
3. Apples and pianos share a common characteristic: They lack a gravitational field.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Chilled waste of dog STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/27/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Waste disposal is a recurring process. A cheap, chilling method is now available for dog owners. The manufacturer describes it in simple terms:

POOP-FREEZE™ is a specially formulated aerosol freeze spray that, upon contact, forms a frosty film on dog poop (or cat poop) to harden the surface for easy pick-up. POOP-FREEZE is a great companion to a pooper scooper for clean fast dog poop or cat poop disposal. POOP-FREEZE is non-flammable, contains no CFC’s and is perfect for both outside and indoor use. Totally safe for both humans and pets when used as directed. Great product testimonials have been given to POOP-FREEZE for dog poop and cat poop removal. POOP-FREEZE, a pooper scooper and dog poop waste bags are the perfect solutions to fast and easy dog poop and cat poop removal.

(Thanks to Jane Eppers and Lee and his dogs for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Reading textbooks for pleasure STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 04/28/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The practice of reading textbooks for pleasure is just as lively now as it has ever been. More people buy textbooks - actually spend their own money to do it - now than ever before. And in deciding what to buy, they are kids in a candy store....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Airport handwashing STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 04/29/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The airport handwashing survey report was issued in 2003.

(Thanks to Ron Josephson for bringing it to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Harbuck and Ivy (and hair) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 04/29/2005 01:03:08 PM ----- BODY:

Kristin Harbuck of Montana State University and Tracie Ivy of Illinois State University -- the former of Bozeman, the latter of Normal -- have joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: What comes up doesn't go down well STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/02/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The notion of "experimental limits" was recently given a subtle twist. Investigator Ron Josephson alerts us to a report in the March 8, 2005 issue of the [Greensboro, North carolina] Record:

Teacher fired for making students vomit loses appeal
SMITHFIELD (AP) — A teacher who encouraged students to drink milk until they vomited as a classroom experiment has lost another attempt to win back his job. Superior Court Judge E. Lynn Johnson ruled Monday that the Johnston County school board had "sufficient cause" to fire Jeff Ferguson. ...

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Dread weapon STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/03/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The DREAD weapon system is said to use centrifugal force (which, as all scientists know, is a shorthand term for something slightly different) to fire high-tech miniature golfballs in rapid succession at high speeds. Its manufacturer, Leader Propulsion Systems, has modestly kept a low public profile.

A series of reports by DefenseReview.com are revealing the information, in bits and parts, to the thrill-starved public. Here is their description of the weapon:

[T]he DREAD is an electrically-powered centrifuge weapon, or centrifuge "gun". So, instead of using self-contained cartridges containing powdered propellant (gunpowder), the DREAD's ammunition will be .308 and .50 caliber round metal balls (steel, tungsten, tungsten carbide, ceramic-coated tungsten, etc...) that will be literally spun out of the weapon at speeds as high as 8000 fps... Here's the kicker: because it's electrically powered and doesn't use any powdered propellant for it's operation, the DREAD Centrifuge Weapon is virtually silent (no sound signature), except for the supersonic "crack" of the metal balls breaking the sound barrier when they're launched.

An authoritatively entertaining promotional video explains the concept and the well-spun promise. (You can download an exciting 18-meg quicktime file, if you like.) There is also an official DREAD Technology White Paper, which begins with Parts 1, and continues from there. All of this is available from DefenseReview.com.

The inventor is Charles St. George, a Connecticut resident who once lived in Australia, and who so far has succeeded at weathering the glare of mega-publicity. Some of Mr. Charles's design principles are revealed in U.S. patent #6,520,169, which was granted in 2003. Mr. Charles assigned the patent to Trinamic Technologies, LLC, which is or was based in West Hartford, Connecticut. The company, like Leader Propulsion Systems (and of course like Mr. Charles himself), has so far been spared the withering effects of focused attention from the press.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig on TV in China STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 05/03/2005 11:27:51 PM ----- BODY:

China Central Television (CCTV) produced a twenty-minute report about the most recent Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. You can watch the complete report on CCTV's web site.

[Unrelated, yet related, note: The Chinese edition of the book The Ig Nobel Prizes is now in print.]

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Tales of the sealed crustless sandwich STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/04/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"The letter accused Albie's—which sells pastries and sandwiches in northern Michigan—of violating Smucker's intellectual property by selling crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." So says a report in IEEE Spectrum.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Baldness and blame STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/05/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

It's your own fault if you go bald, or if you lose your memory, or both. That's in theory. The theory is championed by Armando José Yáñez Soler, of Elda in Alicante, Spain. The town of Elda, until now, has been best known as the home of the Museo Calzado (the Museum of Footwear), but if Yáñez's theory is correct, his fame could surpass that of the museum....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Lick and spittle STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/06/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Cats clean things. Sometimes so do chimps:

(Thanks to Boing-Boing for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Sneaky education in Kansas STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 05/06/2005 11:04:39 AM ----- BODY:

The Kansas Board of Education is in the news again -- trying, trying, trying to make students become curious about biology. The Board is still using the traditional method for making anyone curious about anything: make that subject seem somehow "forbidden." (A fascinating May 4, 2005 editorial in the Washington Times uses that same pedigogical approach.)

The Kansas Board was awarded the 1999 Ig Nobel Prize in Science Education for doing this very thing. It shared the honor with the Colorado State Board of Education. The Ig Nobel Prizes, of course, honor achievements that first make people LAUGH, and then make them THINK.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Communion wafer particle experiments STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/09/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Charles St-George of Wheaton, Kansas, conducted an experiment with communion wafers, published a formal study, and had subsequent communications about it with the Vatican. The documents were published in the September 2002 issue of The Angelus.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Trinity departmental hair STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/09/2005 10:44:17 PM ----- BODY:

Almost most of the Trinity University biology department has, en masse, joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS).

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The 8.71 billion ruble lawsuit STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/09/2005 11:39:40 PM ----- BODY:

On an especially quiet news day comes word that NASA is the target of a massive lawsuit. Details fill space in a report in the May 6, 2005 issue of Interfax:

MOSCOW. May 6 (Interfax) - The Moscow City Court has upheld a suit from a Russian astrologer against a NASA project aimed at exploring the composition of comets by firing a shell at one of them that would form a crater and end the comet's life. ... Astrologer Marina Bai filed a suit, demanding that the project be banned and that she be paid 8.71 billion rubles as emotional damage compensation. She said the planned experiment threatened her personal values and endangered what she described as a natural equilibrium of forces in the universe.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Naked streets of London STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/10/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The naked streets initiative is coming to Exhibition Road, in London, maybe. A report in the January 16, 2005 issue of the Toronto Star describes it. Further background info, with images, is available from the good offices of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea.

(Thanks to Jim Howes from bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Elephant shoe news STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/11/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

There's updated info from the Elephant Sanctuary, with lots of how-we-did-it photos, about the making of elephant shoes. The story includes a sad, yet hopeful twist:

Sadly Tina passed away days before the shoes were completed. Even though Teva had created these custom-made shoes in record time, it was too late for Tina. In an effort to make sure that other needy elephants would benefit, Teva finished the pair of elephant shoes in Tina's memory. Tarra did the honors of testing the shoes for fit and effectiveness. After only a few minor changes were made to ensure that these shoes were both comfortable and functional, Teva did something remarkable. Not only did they make the recommended changes to the test pair of shoes, but they created seven more pairs as well, stating that they wanted to make sure other needy elephants would benefit from the shoes.

(Thanks to Bill Maloney for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Troy blossoms wildly STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 05/11/2005 04:42:41 PM ----- BODY:

Investigative reporter Phil Novak of Baytoday.ca has alerted us to new developments from Troy Hurtubise. Troy is famous (and honored) for designing, building, and personally testing a suit of armor that he hopes is impervious to grizzly bears. Here is a summary of the new news (fuller details are in the May 11 issue of Baytoday.ca):

The North Bay inventor said he has reconfigured his see-through-walls Angel Light and used it to reverse Parkinson’s disease symptoms in one patient, shrink and eliminate breast cysts in another, reduce the size of cancer tumours in lab mice, regenerate plant growth, and hasten seed germination. Hurtubise said the device—created with major contributions from a German physicist, and the help of an electronics engineer and an electrician—has produced such “staggeringly positive” results, he will open his lab to any scientist or researcher in the world who wants to come to North Bay to investigate.

One scientist interviewed by BayToday.ca said Hurtubise had “rewritten” the laws of physics with the God Light. William Rieken, a PhD candidate at the Chihara Laboratory, at the Nara Institute of Science and Technology (NAIST), in Osaka, Japan, has co-invented the XB-2, an unmanned aerial vehicle developed for search and rescue missions. Rieken, a computer scientist with a background in particle physics, was in North Bay Tuesday because he is considering using some Hurtubise-invented materials for the XB-2 and wanted to take back samples for further analyses.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Underground yawning STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/12/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

There is much to be learned from observing one's fellow passengers on the underground. Their yawning, their teeth and their sex are especially ripe for analysis. For nearly a year during the mid-1980s, passengers of the B-line of the Rome underground were examined by trained observers, who focused exclusively on those three characteristics....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The still further blossoming of Troy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 05/12/2005 01:59:38 PM ----- BODY:

Investigative reporter Phil Novak send us further details (with photos) about the newest hard-to-believe exploits of Troy Hurtubise. (Full details of these details (with detailed photos) are in the May 12, 2005 edition of Novak's publication, Baytoday.ca):

The invention, Hurtubise said, was able to see through walls, detect stealth technology and disable electronics. But there was a negative side effect to the Angel Light, Hurtubise soon discovered; repeated exposure to the light caused him to lose weight and facial hair, and he suffered a significant downturn to his health. And although the French government, Hurtubise said, wanted to purchase the Angel Light, he would only agree to do so if he could remove what he called the device’s “Hyde” effect. ... But a German physicist who’d became aware of the Angel Light through a BayToday.ca article contacted Hurtubise and offered his assistance. ...

One week after his session under the light, Hurtubise said, the bald spots on his face were replaced with hair, and his weight returned to normal. “I felt energetic too and was like my old self,” Hurtubise said. As well, Hurtubise’s hands, which had become arthritic and stiff after hammering pieces of metals thousands of times while constructing his Ursus Mark VII bear suit, resumed their normal function, he said. ... A family member became Hurtubise’s next test subject. ...

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Dead Grandmother / Exam Syndrome STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/13/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The dead grandmother exam / syndrome is -- or rather, should be -- in the news. British students, teachers and parents are upset about the official policy concerning what happens when a student's relative or pet has died just before the student takes an exam. The BBC produced a news story about this on May 8, 2005, and there are many other press accounts.

The dead grandmother exam / syndrome has been notably ignored, for the most part, in the discussion. Mike Adams of Eastern Connecticut State University wrote the definitive analysis of this syndrome. His article, titled "The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome," was published in the November/December 1999 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. (This was a special Education issue.) As Professor Adams puts it:

The basic problem can be stated very simply: A student's grandmother is far more likely to die suddenly just before the student takes an exam, than at any other time of year.

(Thanks to Leslie Lawrence and Kevin Rhoads for alerting us to the British turmoil.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Mirror Project STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/16/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The Mirror Project is "a growing community of like-minded individuals who have photographed themselves in all manner of reflective surfaces."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Deep breathing in Istanbul H2O STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/16/2005 12:24:37 PM ----- BODY:

Five days underwater in a shopping mall swimming pool were enough to get Namik Ekin mentioned in a newspaper (and mentioned here). The May 15, 2005 issue of Turks reports that:

A former Turkish marine stayed underwater for 121 hours and 35 minutes, breaking a world record, on Sunday. Namik Ekin, a former Turkish marine, stayed underwater for 121 hours and 35 minutes, setting a new world record. ... About eating underwater, Ekin said, "Being a former soldier, I used to eat whatever I can find. So I did not have difficulty". He said he missed going to the bathroom when he was underwater, adding that, "Another difficulty was the tightness of the clothes."

(Thanks to Martin G of OhPurleese for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The finger, again STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/17/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Finger-portion relative-length studies are in vogue again. Here is another exciting news flash.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Quagnets? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/18/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Quagnets? Try Quirkle.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Beardless youth and grizzled geezers STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/18/2005 07:20:30 PM ----- BODY:

"Beardless youth and grizzled geezers: usage of beards on thirteenth century gothic sculpture" is the topic of a seminar to be presented on May 19. Here are details, as announced by the organizers:

Seminar: Thursday, May l9, 2005, 7-9 PM
Location: Foothills Congregational Church, Los Altos
Speaker: Ann Jones
Topic: Beardless youth and grizzled geezers: usage of beards on thirteenth century gothic sculpture. In gothic sculpture, youth and age is indicated by absence or presence of beards. This is one of many rules on the usage of beards which everyone "knows." Does reality match this perception? Are there indeed rules with no known exceptions? Are there regional variations? Does sculpture follow fashion in facial hair? Does usage of beards depend on type of sculpture or its location? Major thirteenth century sculpture programs across Western Christendom are surveyed to establish the actual usage of beards. Analysis of several thousand individual sculptured heads and figures demonstrates what exists, and adds to what we "know."

We would enjoy hearing from anyone who attends this event.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Vino: describe it OR remember it STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/19/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

When novices talk about this wine or that, the more they talk, the more they're talking baloney. An experiment has proved it. Some experiments are more fun than others. This was one of the some. Joseph Melcher and Jonathan Schooler of the University of Pittsburgh carried it out, wrote it up and then published it in 1996 in the Journal of Memory and Language, to the mixed dismay and delight of the oenophile community....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bed rest triumph STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/19/2005 01:09:57 PM ----- BODY:

A glowing press release brings news of the end of the WISE (Women International Space Simulation for Exploration) bed-rest experiment:

The volunteers in question are twelve women, drawn from seven European countries. Since March they have been confined to bed at the MEDES (French Institute of Space Medicine and Physiology) space clinic in Toulouse, in what is the longest female bedrest experiment ever conducted within the European Community. ... Beata summarises her experience as follows: "It has really enabled me to have a much broader worldview, I really have learned so much. I now have a better understanding of why we go into space."

The volunteers' adventures were monitored by a breathless international news media.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Finnish troll treatise STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/20/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

It's old news to some, but as the headline says: "Finland receives first PhD in trolls." The degree was conferred at and by Åbo Akademi University.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Most double-edged name in medical devices? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/20/2005 03:43:47 PM ----- BODY:

What is the most double-edged name in the medical device industry? Maybe this: www.gotyournumber.com. The web site is all about "The patented Pharmanex® BioPhotonic Scanner." The scanner scans the palm of your hand, and then produces a number. The manufacturer has a nifty rock video on which a man says: "I guarantee that your number will go up!"

At least one dentist is very excited about this, and the device has drawn the attention of several connoisseurs of innovative medical devices.

It seems fair to say the people behind this product believe that (1) they understand what you want, and (2) they've got your number.

(Thanks to W.J. Maloney for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Zen of likelihood in a nutshell STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/23/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Peter Foster (of London's Natural History Museum) is the author of "The idiot's guide to the zen of likelihood in a nutshell in seven days for dummies, unleashed -- A gentle introduction, for those of us who are small of brain, to the calculation of the likelihood of molecular sequences."

(Thanks to Kristine Danowski and New Scientist's Feeback for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: May mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 05/23/2005 09:36:34 PM ----- BODY:

The May issue of mini-AIR just went out. It includes news about the until-now-unreported Hawking Briefs scandal.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Another take on another take on chemistry STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 05/24/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The re-Discovery Institute says that its " primary focus is to extend and promote Design Theories, which have been so successful in Biology, to the fields of Chemistry, Astronomy, Physics and Geology." Its greatest triumph, so far, is the revised periodic table of the elements: The re-Discovery Institute is inspired partly by the supercharged discoveries announced by the Discovery Institute, an organization that seems to come up with its own novel, imaginitive take on all sorts of things great and small.

(Thanks to The Skeptical Inquirer and Mary O'Grady for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Gluteal hardness in security guards STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/25/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

Peter Freundlich's how-to study "Assessing Gluteal Hardness in Security Guards," appears in the special Security Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. It begins:

Here is something that will almost certainly happen to you at some point in your life, if it hasn’t happened repeatedly already: You will be engaged in what seems to you to be an entirely innocent and unobjectionable activity when you feel a tap on your shoulder. Turning toward the tap, you will fi nd yourself facing a Uniformed Private Security Guard (UPSG), who will inevitably say one of two things -- either “Do you have permission to do that?” or “You can’t do that here.” The author of this study has often been an object of intense study by Uniformed Private Security Guards. In response, he has spent much time in turn studying them and their behavior. Here is the fruit of that study. Read it, and you will have a clear understanding of the concept of Gluteal Hardness. ...

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Colonic investigations STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 05/26/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

It is now 10 years since Sue Ziebland and Catherine Pope published their landmark report "The Use of the Colon in Titles of British Medical Sociology Conference Papers, 1970 to 1993" ....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Security guard research review STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 05/27/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

A special "Security Guard Research Review" -- which can (and is) described as "a look at some looks at those who stand guard" -- appears in the special Security Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Spanking and mice STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 05/30/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Sergei Speransky Institute of Hygiene in Novosibirsk is in the news again. A March 26, 2005 article in Pravda reports that:

Doctor of Biological Sciences, Sergei Speransky, is a very well known figure in Novosibirsk. The doctor became one of the authors of the shocking whipping therapy. The professor used the self-flagellation method to cure his own depression; he also recovered from two heart attacks with the help of physical tortures too.

Dr. Speransky is perhaps most famous for a paper about mice that he published more than a decade ago:

"Study of Human-Animal Communication at a Distance Between Moscow and Novosibirsk, L.M. Porvin, & S.V. Speransky, Parpsikhologiya i Psikhofizika [Parapsychology and Psychophysics]," vol. 9, no. 1, no. 1,1993), pp. 8-29. [in Russian]

(Thanks to Christine van der Aa for bringing Dr. Speransky to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Flameproof head guys STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 05/31/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

When Maurice Ward began tinkering with chemicals in a ladies' hairdressing salon he never dreamed he was on the way to revolutionizing the American space program. All the Middlesbrough hairdresser was trying to achieve was a flame retardant wig but it eventually led to the discovery of a plastic that can stop a nuclear blast.

So begins an April 1994 article in the Sunday Sun, written by Keith Dufton, about the inventor Maurice Ward. Mr. Ward's work is echoed in the more recent -- and more advanced -- work of 1998 Ig Nobel Prize winner Troy Hurtubise, whose flameproof materials are said to be a wonder. The Discovery Channel film of him applying a blowtorch to his head is impressive.

(Thanks to David Crane of DefenseReview.com for bringing Maurice Ward to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: How to move the Earth STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 06/01/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The analytical guide to how to move the Earth is the work of Mathematics student Sam Hughes, whose Venn diagram about Britain is equally to be admired.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Clocky and Tenureclocky STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/02/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

Clocky is the hiding alarm clock invented by Gauri Nanda.

Tenureclocky is the epic poem written by Dany Adams.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Sacerdotal celibacy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/03/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Whenever there is a new pope, the air fills with questions about priestly celibacy. The more formal term for this practice is "sacerdotal celibacy". The most popular piece of literature on the topic, Henry Charles Lea's voluminous History of Sacerdotal Celibacy was published in 1867 and has enjoyed many, many reprints....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Medical research review STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 06/06/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

The "Medical Research Review" column in the special Security Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. carries news of the visual revenge of the spider, and other reports gleaned from the world's medical case literature.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: VD is for everybody STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/07/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

VD is for everybody, or so says a musical movie of that name.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Tom Lehrer at a math lecture STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/08/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

Video of Tom Lehrer performing at a math lecture (the occasion was a tribute to a fellow mathematician) is a rare and wonderful thing to see.

So is Mike Stanfill's animated version of Tom Lehrer's tour de force "The Elements."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Magnetism, Mingus, and Shaftesbury STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/09/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Edmund Shaftesbury has somehow lost his magnetic grip on education. His once-famous name bounced up in January in a report issued by the US Library of Congress about its collection of items pertaining to the jazz musician Charles Mingus. In box 71, the report says, "is a book titled Cultivation of Personal Magnetism in Seven Progressive Steps, by Edmund Shaftesbury, with the mid-section carved out to house Mingus's firearm"....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Deus ex masochism STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/10/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Amos Omondi writes to recommend an invention that never gets quite enough attention:

UNITED STATES PATENT 6293874: "User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks"
INVENTOR: Armstrong; Joe W. (Lenoir, Tennessee)
ABSTRACT: An amusement apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user's buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user's control.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: June mini-AIR STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: mini-AIR DATE: 06/10/2005 12:46:18 PM ----- BODY:

The June issue of mini-AIR just went out. It introduces the Stroop vs. Smoot debate, and salutes the Bureau of Glottal Affairs, among other things.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Clearly, in Jeopardy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Letters from readers DATE: 06/11/2005 11:51:27 AM ----- BODY:

Investigator Carol Springs writes to clarify an item in the June issue of mini-AIR:

One point that dozens of others have probably made by now, but just in case:
>> "Ig Nobel Prizes" was a
>> category on the June 1, 2005
>> broadcast of the television program
>> "Jeopardy." Contestants were presented
>> with the following answers:
>>    karaoke
>>    a car alarm
>>    Michael Milken
>>    Sun Myung Moon
>>    Ron Popeil
These just looked *wrong* somehow. Were contestants supposed to guess the Ig Nobel prize category, or what? Then, when I went to the specified Web site, I realized -- these were the *questions*, not the answers! As we all know, the questions come in response to the answers on Jeopardy. The site in, er, question left out the "What is ..." and "Who is ..." for brevity's sake.
A little poking around revealed a more coherent page:
http://www.j-archive.com/showgame.php?game_id=357
If you pass your mouse cursor over the prize amount you see the answer, I mean the question.

Too bad two locals [contestants who are natives of Massachusetts, where the Ig Nobel Ceremony is held] were stumped on most of these! Clearly they should've been attending the ceremonies, as we do nearly every year.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Cold spikes of interest STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 06/13/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Ice spikes can, and do, form in freezer ice cube trays. The how and why of it are now fairly clear, thanks to research carried out by K. G. Libbrecht and K. Lui at the Caltech Physics Department.

There is the pre-print (it's not clear where and when it will become a post-preprint) of Libbrecht and Lui's study.

(Thanks to Hannah Pendergrast for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Fear thy family roots STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 06/14/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"Genealogists want psychotherapy to be made available for people who stumble across unpleasant discoveries while researching their family history." This statement, with copious supporting detail, is in a report in the April 17, 2005 issue of The Daily Telegraph.

(Thanks to Juanita Browne for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Further puzzling solutions STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/15/2005 01:02:00 AM ----- BODY:

The "Puzzling Solutions" column in the special Security Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research presents several more from our collection of puzzle solutions to which we have lost the puzzles.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Big bang theories (medical) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/16/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Here is a brief guide to some unfortunate explosions of a particular type. The details sit quietly in back issues of medical journals. Only occasionally does anyone come to see them. The visitor is, in most cases, either a doctor in sudden need of information or a scholar in search of violent titillation....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Bovine butt simulator for docs STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 06/17/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Veterinarians must learn, somehow, to examine the inside of a cow. The definition of "somehow" is now broader than it used to be, thanks to Sarah Baillie's haptic cow hind simulator at the University of Glasgow. The official description of this device is almost lyrical:

Veterinary students are trained to palpate the bovine reproductive tract in order to perform pregnancy diagnosis and fertility examinations. These are difficult procedures to learn and require considerable practice to identify structures accurately. The teaching takes place both at university and during extramural studies (EMS) on farms with veterinary surgeons and students need to examine as many cows as possible to get the opportunity to develop skills adequately by the time of graduation. With regard to teaching, when a student is examining a cow the teacher is unable to observe the student's technique inside the cow and therefore, it can be difficult to instruct the student in the procedure.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Papa of Ping STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 06/20/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Computer science cognoscenti know what Ping is, and also know that Mike Muuss is the proud author of same.

(Thanks to Dan Piette for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Soup personalities STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 06/21/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Thanks to Martin G of ohpurleese.com for reminding us about the enlightening press release , issued in the year 2000, about University of Illinois Professor Brian Wansink's reported discovery that “people's soup choices reflect their personality types.”

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Head-turning dragon STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/22/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Jerry Andrus's head-turning dragon, though made from mere cut-and-folded paper, is truly a head-turner. It was designed in honor of Martin Gardner. You can download a PDF version, and cut and fold yourself an object that will startle visitors.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The Psychotic Security Guard STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/23/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"Who watches the watchers?" becomes an especially interesting question when the watchers are psychotic. A team of doctors from Texas and California explored that question in 1993 in the Journal of Forensic Sciences. Their names are JA Silva, GB Leong and R Weinstock. Their study is called The Psychotic Patient as Security Guard....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Seeing Troy in action STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Improbable investigators DATE: 06/24/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

We've had many requests about film of Ig Nobel Prize winner Troy Hurtubise, the man who built and personally tested a suit of armor meant to be impervious to grizzly bears. The National Film Board of Canada has just prepared a DVD version of its feature film documentary Project Grizzly, which is all about Troy.

Penn Gillette, a man not given to hyperbole except when he chooses to be, once described this film to us as "the best documentary ever made." We're not sure we'd disagree.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Taxonomists' delight STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/27/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

A new animal form has been patented. Some biologists may find it difficult to classify.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Djerassi: finding what me worry STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/28/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

One of the great underlooked works of literature is "The Quest for Alfred E. Neuman," by Carl Djerassi.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Intestinal gas video STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 06/29/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Mark Nelssen has produced a mostly matter-of-factual video about intestinal gas.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Methodologyogyogyogy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 06/30/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Applied methodology is the bee's knees. Applied methodology is bling-bling. Applied methodology is a phrase that's cropping up everywhere. It's a big, red banner waving gaily in the breeze, telling you something. It tells you that someone likes to use the phrase "applied methodology". This is useful to know....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Sexual cannibalism in sagebrush crickets STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/01/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) member Tracie M. Ivie and two colleagues co-authored the study "Female remating propensity contingent on sexual cannibalism in sagebrush crickets, Cyphoderris strepitans: a mechanism of cryptic female choice," J.C. Johnson, T.M. Ivy, and S.K. Sakaluk, Behavioral Ecology, vol. 10, 1999, pp. 227-33.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Mousetrap-powered cars STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 07/04/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Mousetrap-powered cars are cars powered by mousetraps.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: McVities' crumb test dummy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 07/05/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The McVities web site explains that:

"McVities have revealed that they created a biscuit munching robot to help with the development of their new Milk chocolate and Orange Digestive. With its mechanical mouth and teeth the Crumb Test Dummy has been specially designed to munch biscuits and produce crumbs in the same way as the average human."

There is a photograph. And the BBC gave further details, with another photo, in a March 8, 2005 news report.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Dead shopping malls STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/06/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Historians, sociologists and entomologists may find much of interest in the concept of dead shopping malls.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Battlefields and bladders STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 07/06/2005 10:08:06 AM ----- BODY:

The July 2 issue of the Washington Post carries a compelling quasi-medical report:

Battlefields and Bladders
By Don Oldenburg

At a cocktail reception to open "Civil War Medicine," a new exhibit at the ever-so-curious William P. Didusch Center for Urologic History, located in the Baltimore burbs, onlookers quietly groan as a Civil War surgeon tosses a Union soldier's amputated arm into the piles of bloody body parts littering the floor. Suddenly you're not so drawn to the chips and salsa at the hors d'oeuvre table. Next, the doctor picks up a long, curved, silver instrument designed for very personal probing, and some of the men among the party guests get a woozy rush. "Didn't work," announces the physician, Robert Urban, demonstrating battlefield surgeries in the lobby of the American Urological Association headquarters in Linthicum Wednesday evening. ...

(Thanks to Sally Shelton for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Greek cheek dimples STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: The newspaper column DATE: 07/07/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

How many Greek children have dimpled cheeks? Until recently no one really knew, but now there is detailed information as to exactly how many do, how many don't, and where the dimples are....

So begins this week's Improbable Research column in The Guardian

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Show me your teeth STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/07/2005 08:51:37 PM ----- BODY:

Small, as well as large, insights contribute to the making of a good doctor. The July 9, 2005 issue of the BMJ contains an insightful letter from Dr. Jonathan Stacey of Risca, Gwent. It reads, in part:

I took a history and examined her, including a rather slapdash cranial nerve examination. Testing the integrity of her seventh nerve, I asked her to "Show me your teeth." She obliged by spitting her dentures into her hand and nervously offering them to me for inspection.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: GhostRadar vs. the competition STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/08/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

GhostRadar is a device that "may beep as often as once an hour in a place that's haunted but might fall silent in other spots," according to an Associated Press report in the April 3, 2005 issue of USA Today.

GhostRadar is more fully tested than, and fully as effective as, the U.S. strategic missile defense system.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: The prehistory of rap STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/08/2005 02:27:06 PM ----- BODY:

Professor Steven Mithen of Reading University also thinks the cave- dwellers would have enjoyed the rhythms and sounds made by rap artists.

So says a June 30, 2005 BBC News report about Professor Mithen and his new book, The Singing Neanderthal : The Origins of Music, Language, Mind and Body.

(Thanks to Remo Tamayo for bringing this to our attention.)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Recursion at a glance STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Arts and science DATE: 07/11/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Thanks to Mike Stanfill of the Infinite Cats Project, you can see quickly and simply -- movingly -- the basic idea of recursion.

[NOTE: The Infinit Cats project was featured in the special Cats Issue of the Annals of Improbable Research.]

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Legends of forgetting (animal) STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/12/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

"Legends of forgetting" is a short film by M. Jourdan Atkinson of Texas Southern University, who says it is "a documentary about displaced histories, fantasies, and artifacts emanating from a farm site in the Southwestern Missouri." A still photo from the video shows a carving of an animal which, says Atkinson, has never been properly identified. Anderson wrote an accompanying background paper.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Inventors beware STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: News about research DATE: 07/13/2005 01:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

The U.S. Patent & Trademark Office lists complaints they have received about would-be invention promoters.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Ig poster 2005 STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT BREAKS: 0 ALLOW PINGS: 0 CATEGORY: Ig Nobel DATE: 07/13/2005 06:24:19 PM ----- BODY:

For what it's worth, there is now a quasi-nifty poster (in downloadable PDF format) for this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Annals of Improbable Research TITLE: Mysterious floating ideas STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 0 CONVERT