New medical scanning devices are very powerful. Patients love them, and the images sometimes identify dangerous medical problems. For patients who "can't get enough" of the CAT, MRI, PET, or any of the other scanners, we now offer the HMO-NO 24/7 Scan Plan.TM With this plan, patients are entitled to as much scanning as they like -- even 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! The results are mailed directly to the patient on a series of DVDs that can be played on almost any home computer.** On each DVD, the patient's personal images are accompanied by inspirational classical music played by the Doctors' Medical Orchestra of Irkutsk. Yes, in modern medicine, it's all about image!
HMO-NO. Because we care about you, and your pocketbook.
*Hourly surcharge pricing structure applies. Minute-by-minute
**Computers available for rent or purchase.
© Copyright 2002 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)