Sheepish Thermodynamics Limerick Competition
Here are the winning entries, and several runners-up, for the first and
last annual SHEEPISH
THERMODYNAMICS LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates the following research report, which was brought to our attention by investigator Diana A. Rogers:
"Enthalpy, Heat Capacity and Thermal Conductivity of
Boneless Mutton Between -40 and +40 Degrees C,"
Ana M. Tocci, Ethel S.E. Flores, and Rodolfo H. Mascheroni,
Food Science and Technology / Lebensmittel-Wissen
und-Technologie, vol. 30, no. 2, March 1997, pp. 184-91.
Contest requirements were that the rhymes actually do, and that the limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form.
INVESTIGATOR NADINE FIEDLER:
According to R. Mascheroni:
With mutton, if not with baloney,
The meat can't be beat
For conduction of heat --
As long as it's boneless, not boney.
INVESTIGATOR STEVEN HALL:
The constants related to heat
For cooking or freezing the meat
Of a sheep or a lamb
(Per degree and per gram)
are determined and published. How neat!
Some notable runners-up:
INVESTIGATOR DOV WEINSTOCK
I set out to measure how heat
Is conducted by chunks of lamb's meat.
But wait - hold the phone!
I left in the bone
So now I'll fillet and repeat
When Dolly, de-boned and just meat,
Was frozen, then set on re-heat,
80 Celsius, they saw,
Was the range of the thaw,
And conducive to mint -- quite a treat!
INVESTIGATOR K.D. WITHROW:
Thermal characteristics of mutton,
Scientifically pegged by some glutton,
But at plus 40 C,
It's still too cold for me.
Risk scrapie? I'd rather eat nuttin'.
INVESTIGATOR BRUCE VRANA:
Tocci, Flores and Mascheroni
Had mutton which was not too bony.
They applied some heat,
And measured the meat,
And did all that thermo baloney.
INVESTIGATOR LEILA Z. HADJ-CHIKH:
Before lifting your lamb from the pot,
Better see if it's frozen or not.
Though a sheep that can bleat
Will create its own heat,
A deceased one must cook to get hot.
INVESTIGATOR PEGGY COQUET:
Dr. Grumble's goat roast wasn't thawed,
So he called his wife's housekeeping flawed
"It's not lack of skill,"
Screeched she, turning shrill,
"It's the size of the thing, you clod!"
INVESTIGATOR CLYNCH VARNADORE :
A marinate's like a pre-treating
Says the cook-book (ovine) I've been reading
With the Barbeque sauce
What's the total heat loss
Of the boneless old ewe I'm re-heating?
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